Cassi

After 1 Year - is it really worth it?

6 posts in this topic

I’d like to share the symptoms I’m having a year after going off adderall and want to see if anyone feels the same. A little back ground on my use. I took adderall for 11 years. During that time I had an awesome life and a successful career at a large company.  After having a child, I started to get extreme fatigue. My doctor prescribed me 120mg a day to manage. Working a high stress corporate job, dealing with a bad marriage, having a newborn, and dealing with health issues really started to make life too much. I felt like my adderall stopped working.  For the first time, I began to take more than my prescription. I didn’t like the person I was becoming so I quit my job and went for a month to inpatient rehab. I was fortunate to be able to take off a year to deal with the extreme depression. I feel better after a year but the depression still weighs on me. I need to go back to work but I feel like I just don’t care. I don’t care about my weight, my career, and I could just sit back and be a total loser. I have problems concentrating on building a resume. If I am able to get back my awesome job, I’m afraid I can’t do it. All I want to do is sleep. Since I’ve gone off adderall, I’ve had extremely short term memory and even can’t finish my sentences. Ive gained 15 lbs. I’ve been put on 3 prescriptions to manage my anxiety and depression to replace my one prescription of adderall. Antidepressants have weird side effects too. My mind is so foggy.  I’m wondering if things would be different now that I’m out of a toxic marriage given I only abused one year. I want my life back. If it continues to make life miserable and I have to continue on like this - I will go back on at a low dose. I feel a lot worse than when I was on adderall.  I’m so frustrated because I’m worried that life could be so much easier. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Cassi.  Congrats on making it one year. I’m sorry you are struggling with this.  

The recovery takes a very long time for some of us. I took adderall for 12 years and I am 2.5 years off.

At one year off, I was not doing as well as I wanted to either...

I have read on this site from people who try going back on adderall, that it won’t take you back to any semblance of the honey moon phase or even the productive high energy phase. They say when you go back on it, your tolerance kicks in pretty quickly and soon you are back to square one and wanting to quit again.

I was still seeing improvement in myself all through the second year.  What if you give it one more year off adderall and then reevaluate.

i sometimes think about going back on a low dose too. But I don’t want to have to quit again and that pretty much stops me from considering it further. 

Remember we are older than we used to be when we stared adderall too. So some of the low energy we feel could be partly from just being older. 

Sorry for rambling all over the place. But I wanted to reply even if it was messy and unorganized.  Have you tried any exercise lately? Aerobic exercise will release endorphins and improve your mood.  Even a brisk walk can make a difference.  

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you - I have come this far and this year was hell. I don’t want to start at square one again. That’s really interesting about going back and needing the same amount as when you stopped. I do feel good when I exercise, I just need to make myself because like I mentioned, I have no motivation to do anything. Thanks for your response.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel your struggles and also struggle after being off for 2 years. Short term memory issues and low energy problems. I am functioning way better than the first year however still not the person I hoped to be by now. 

I can say that any less evil stimulant doesn’t help for long whether it’s caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or what have you it will feel good for a few days then you find yourself chasing a different dragon.  

Best to seriously look at diet, limit carbs and caffeine. Some supplements can help, Keto works well for those who can stick with it, my approach is just avoiding processed foods and unhealthy carbs. Exercise is a must no matter how you feel, try to commit to at least 3 days a week to start and try for a goal of 5. 

Wish you the best!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/18/2019 at 4:51 PM, Subtracterall said:

I have read on this site from people who try going back on adderall, that it won’t take you back to any semblance of the honey moon phase or even the productive high energy phase. They say when you go back on it, your tolerance kicks in pretty quickly and soon you are back to square one and wanting to quit again.

pretty much this right here. you said you were at a 120mg a day? that is an absurd amount of Adderall for a prescribed dose. shame on that doctor for such a negligent prescription. i'm hoping that you weren't on this dose for all 11 years.

it seems like within a year off Adderall, you're life situation has changed for better or worse. no more toxic relationship, but i suspect all the other stuff is still true (child, health problems, etc). i can tell you this much - Adderall might help again in the short term, but your tolerance will jump up very quickly and you'll run into those same problems that had you quit the first time. worst case? you'll take it for long enough to Adderall your way into a "high stress job", then fail at that as you seek to quit again. a year long absence followed by a rebound failure could be enough to seriously damage your career outlook for a while.

actually the real worst case is your health. you were taking a very large dose of Adderall so it's no surprise you had health issues. as @Subtracterall said, you're also older now. your body chemistry and hormones are different, you will never achieve that initial high you got from the pills.  

no matter how shitty you feel right now, think about this: do you plan to take Adderall forever? if not, you'll have to quit again at some point when it will be even harder. you're already a year out - don't let this effort go to waste. if it sounds like i'm trying to scare you, then good, because i am!

keep on keeping on (:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was having real anxiety about interviews writing this. Yes the doctor was out of control on the prescription but he also knew how tired I was and didn’t know what else to do because all tests he gave came back normal. I have finally found a doctor that is both an MD and holistic doctor. He knows a lot about gut health and brain chemistry and unfortunately it’s going to take time to heal that. I never took more than 60mg before pregnancy. I had a life threatening childbirth that really messed up my gut. That’s when I wasn’t able to get out of bed from fatigue. The adderall was all I had to make it from day to day.  I definitely can never go through this last year again so will be giving this a shot for another year, I feel more positive things will change. Thanks for the encouragement.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now