Getting through the holidays

[m34]

Anyone else triggered by holidays ? I’m starting to realize my trigger points in sobriety are really just times when I upped my dosage during my addiction. Holidays were definitely one of those times.
 

Even though I’m slowly creeping through month 10 still feel like I have so far to go...I just want to stop thinking about those stupid pills. I’m feeling better physically and mentally for the most part. outside of these nagging thoughts that go through my head. Daydreaming about boundless energy forgetting the horrific side affects. 
sorry just venting! 

[SleepyStupid]

no need to be sorry, that's what we're here for (:

my memories of holiday's on speed are trying to come up with excuses to skip out on everything. for about half my addiction i was living at home with my parents so that made it even harder but more obvious. when i couldn't escape? just take more drugs till i was high enough to not care (and surely enough for everyone to know i was high). but at least i was pleasant then, so everyone kinda just tried to enjoy themselves.

congrats on 10 months! winter is a little challenging cause you can't get out as much, but get yourself immersed in something new - even if its just like TV or videogames or something - and you'll stop thinking about the pills in no time!

 

 

 

[m34]

Thank you for your response! @sleepystupid you have a valid point. Maybe it’s the cold and feeling more trapped activity wise... I just need a distraction. Anything is better than getting back on the rollercoaster.
 

I also took it to avoid dealing with family. Just so I could be in a chipper happy FAKE mood. I’m just missing that feeling not the pill. I believe I can create that feeling without pills. Today and every day. One day if I say it enough it will come true right....