nordicprincess

Getting through college...HELP

3 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

I'm Kelly. I can't tell you how relieved I was to find this website. I finally feel like I've found a group of people who can understand what I'm going through. Anyway, I'm currently on day 37 (from a 7+ year addiction) and every single day I wake up and can't believe I no longer have Adderall in my life. I feel like I'm in mourning. I'm currently in an intense, accelerated nursing program and it's the beginning of the semester. My first exam is on Monday and I have yet to be able to study because my focus is just nonexistent and my cravings are unbearable. As much as I wish I could put school on hold, it's just not a possibility and this is going to be the first exam I ever took/studied for off Adderall.  

What I'm really trying to ask is - did any of you attempt to quit while still in school? If so, do you have any tips?? 

Thank you so much.

 

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Hi Kelly! I’m glad you found us. And your profile picture is awesome by the way. I didn’t quit in school, I actually didn’t even get started until after, but I can relate to what you’re feeling. We all can in a sense. It feels so overwhelming to keep up with the daily demands of life without Adderall. In my case I was in a extremely high pressure job.

The first thing I would do at this point is ask yourself why you quit. Did it stop working for you? Were you abusing it? Was it ruining relationships? Making it to 37 days after 7 years of use is no small feat. You’re doing amazing. But you have to remember why you quit in the first place. If you feed the part of you that thinks you’re better off with Adderall, it will continue to grow until you relapse.

The second thing I would do is ask yourself if there will be a better time in the future to quit. Will you be able to afford time off after you graduate to quit? Do you think it will be easier to quit when you are dealing with the demands of a new nursing career? I don’t think so. There are a lot of nurses on here that crashed after years of Adderall use. Some people successfully plan a quit for the future, but 99% of the time the best answer is to quit and stay quit now.

At 37 days you are through some of the hardest days already. Things will get better. I think you should try your absolute best to study this weekend and take the test Addy free on Monday. Come back on here and let us know how it went! Try studying in little 5 minutes spurts. One little fact or page at a time. Take some deep breaths and lower your expectations for yourself on this one. If you’re used to getting A’s, come to peace with the possibility of a B or C on this first one. Welcome to the forums!

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Drew,

First of all, thank you so much for your reply! What you said here really, really resonated with me and made me take a step back; this internal dialogue that I've been having with myself the past few days has been a lot of romanticizing the work I did while on Adderall and the way it made me feel. The reason I quit was complex. I isolated myself physically and emotionally from my friends and family, had no sense of humor, would become hyperfocused on the wrong things, began to lose control over how much I took...going through a 30-day prescription in <2 weeks, and the comedowns started to be unbearable - making me feel depressed and unable to sleep. Quitting was something in the back of my mind for years, and I knew I would have to face it someday, but I "loved" it so much. I was in denial about my addiction because I thought Adderall helped me have the stamina and focus to accomplish anything that I otherwise couldn't have done. While I know this isn't totally true, a part of me still believes this and I hate myself for it. I so desperately want to change my thinking. 

But as you said - there will be no "convenient" time to quit. Once my career begins - I will be dealing with a whole new set of challenges and I need to have this behind me. Thank you for this.

I'm taking your advice and going to a local coffee shop to get some studying done. Baby steps. My biggest challenge will be accepting that my grades may suffer during recovery. I will try to lower the expectations I've put on myself and see how well I'm able to do without "help", I just hope it gets easier. I will definitely come back to say how it went! Thanks so much for the words of encouragement.

2 hours ago, DrewK15 said:

If you feed the part of you that thinks you’re better off with Adderall, it will continue to grow until you relapse.

 

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