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EthericTraveler

I’m quitting Adderall!

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Hello everybody. I’m so grateful this forum exists. So awesome to read all the success stories.

Im quitting Adderall. I’ve been taking it on and off for the past 3 years, and although it did help me break out of my extreme depression in the beginning, I have recognized that I am relying on this outer drug to achieve an inner experience, and that’s no good. It’s like training wheels for me at this point, and it’s not helping me grow. I’ve also started noticing this numbing feeling in my mind, and it sucks.

A year and a half ago, I quit cold-turkey for 8 months. I remember how much more “real” I felt and was so much more creative and there was more inner-peace overall. I relapsed when I observed how difficult it was for me to focus on things at work and I “justified” going back to it by telling myself that focusing was incredibly difficult and if I didn’t take the drug, then I was letting my sense of pride get in the way of resolving the focus issues. My oh my, how clever and manipulative these inner-voices can be... not gonna happen again. 

All my best to each of you with your continued recovery! :)

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Thanks for your post and I wish you all the best on this new journey quitting Adderall. (For good this time) Authenticity and being true to that inner voice is such an amazing motivator to rid yourself of the training wheels and find the  strength you have inside.  The “real” you does not just come out and introduce themself to us just because we quit. This journey is much more like peeling off layers to see parts long neglected and forgotten. It often feels more like building up and adding pieces of ourselves  that never even exited before. A “new” you is built through a painstaking process of loss and self discovery. It doesn’t come easy and I’m still very much in withdrawal still but damn I am feeling some moments of hope and that’s a miracle.  This process can be a real mindfuck at the darkest of times and some days just surviving feels like all I can give.  Welcome to the group and thanks for posting. We can learn and get through this together. This group has been so important to me during this process.  Feeling a defective loneliness was unbearable. This group gave me hope and made me feel understood and not so alone. 

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On 2/29/2020 at 1:24 AM, EthericTraveler said:

I relapsed when I observed how difficult it was for me to focus on things at work and I “justified” going back to it by telling myself that focusing was incredibly difficult and if I didn’t take the drug, then I was letting my sense of pride get in the way of resolving the focus issues. My oh my, how clever and manipulative these inner-voices can be... not gonna happen again. 

that justification around Pride is a real sneaky and interesting one! glad my inner addict didn't think of that lol.

gl and keep us posted!

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