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Quarantine qualms


barefootbritt

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29f Philadelphia, using for 9 yrs, prescribed for 7 and abusing for at least 3. Quit alcohol 9 mos ago (yay) and it was easy bc it was destroying my life. I'll never drink again. The same voice that told me I had a drinking problem has resurfaced with a new message and it's that I have to stop this. I don't want to. I used Adderall to get in shape and because of tolerance I am not only not In shape but I'm already the heaviest I've been ever so f* me for my lack of discipline. I know my metabolism is destroyed. Even when I take Adderall as prescribed, I manage to be lethargic and lay around so basically increasing dose and tolerance for nothing. I'm prescribed 25xr per day and recently my doctor added 10mg ir for late afternoon. I'm shocked at how willimg she was to increase. I'm working from home, living in my dad's basement and work is slow, so if I needed to sleep all day I could definitely do that. I don't want to gain weight. I'm scared if I quit I will gain weight and then relapse and continue gaining. When I quit alc I gained 10lbs and relapsed, and when I quit again I gained more. I don't feel confident in my will to stop. I will almost certainly quit and convince myself to start again when I feel like my tolerance has lowered. I just took an XR, I have half a script left. But I know the direction my neglected internal compass is leading me. The seed of knowing what I have to do has been planted, I hope it will continue to grow and give me strength to do this.

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Hello, I read your story and wanted to write you about my experience with weight loss and weight gain concerning my Adderall addiction. I’ve always struggled with my weight, and when I first started taking Adderall I lost a ton of weight without trying at all. Since then I also became the heaviest I had ever been. I gained upwards of 70 lbs over the past 7 years since I have been taking Adderall. I quit taking Adderall 2 months ago. I have been taking this one moment at a time and it is so scary. I don’t know where my appetite is because I’ve quit other things as well, like clonazepam which I had been on for 12 years. I am so scared. I was so disturbed by the weight I had gained and the body I found myself in when I quit I also started keeping a food diary and walking everyday. I walk because it eases the high anxiety and depression, but it also works my metabolism. Most of the time I can’t do much of anything requiring focus or concentration, so I really have to count calories. It’s slow but I am losing weight. I just joined this site today because I don’t know what is going on with me and I’m scared and feel totally alone. Thank you for writing your story. 

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I quit taking adderall about 2 years ago and i still remember the fear that my life was going to fall apart once i quit. Honestly it did fall apart a little bit but that was only temporary, when u get back on your feet u also figure out how to take control of your life again. I was very afraid of gaining weight after i stopped and i did gain weight but being a little over weight with a healthy mind is 1000x better than being  
adderall skinny and losing my mind. All the side effects of stopping adderall are temporary and can all be fixed once ur not relying on the pill anymore. I think the key to quitting is to take life as slow as u can at first, getting proper sleep, and find a job/hobby/activity that keeps adderall off your mind. 

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Intermittent fasting is also a great way to support your body as it heals from addiction and to find the “right” weight for your body. Our gut health plays a big role in everything and I’ve never been so aware of this as since I quit Adderall. My guts are often “funky” - starving or no appetite or bloated or constipated or diarrhea or just uncomfortable. I’ve also found that I feel better when I eat a plant-based diet. I’ve been doing that during the week and then on the weekends when I go out or visit with my boyfriend, I eat “whatever” just because it’s easier and I feel better not having any strict rules around food because I don’t want to trigger the disordered eating I’ve had in the past. 
 

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I lost weight at the beginning of using adderall but like you I got heavier than I ever was while on adderall.  Because of tolerance and terrible eating habits on adderall like pummeling redbulls and eating bullshit.  When I quit adderall, I slowly starting getting back in tune with my body and realized that healthy food and exercise makes you feel so much better; more energy, less anxiety, etc.  I went from 250lbs at the end of my adderall use to about 190ish now

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