Brit

First post-adderall work win!

7 posts in this topic

Hello friends - today I am 31 days clean after 10 years (25mg XR and 10-20mg instant). I wanted to share a positive story and an Ah-ha moment!

The first 27 days without adderall were a complete crap shoot, and the stress and guilt I felt for falling behind on work and not showing up for my team has been weighing on me. So I’ve known for 3 weeks I needed to present a new strategic plan to my CEO & management team due to covid, but I could not get my shit together. The task felt insurmountable. What normally would have taken me a day to prep (the plan was already done), took every bit of 3 weeks to get up the nerve to begin prepping for the presentation. 
 

I was also avoiding it because I could barely string sentences together, my confidence was at all time low, I’ve had many days of deep depression, and I was beginning to feel like a total fraud and that I never earned my position to begin with. 
 

Day 28 I was finally feeling a bit more clear-headed - I think multiple walks a day and being consistent with my supplements have really been key (if anyone wants to know what they are, drop a comment). So I began pulling my presentation together - it still took me 3 full days to prep, but after practicing my presentation for hours and hours, basically memorizing it - I felt mostly prepared, yet still unsure I could answer questions outside of that.

well... yesterday I fucking did it!!! My boss and the suits all said it was my best presentation yet, and I had to answer a ton of questions and even change some of my plan on the fly due to new company initiatives. I literally cried tears of joy after and haven’t lost my smile yet. I’ve suddenly had a ton more drive and energy that has lasted 30 straight hours. 

What I really want to share with you all is that I believe my confidence and self-esteem has been a decent piece of what has been weighing me down mentally. Now that I know I’m not a fraud, because I can literally FEEL it within me, I know I can quit for good. 
 

I think having an early win like this, and one so crucial (I need a job, single household over here!), is major for my self worth. I recommend seeking out something similar to show yourself you’re still the same person; but wait until you’re ready. If I had to deliver this presentation last week, I couldn’t have, my brain wasn’t ready yet.

I know I still have a long road ahead of me, but I’m so excited to have reached a new stage!

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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! What an amazing story!! I am loving what you wrote—-> “What I really want to share with you all is that I believe my confidence and self-esteem has been a decent piece of what has been weighing me down mentally. Now that I know I’m not a fraud, because I can literally FEEL it within me, I know I can quit for good.”

THAT IS SO TRUE!!  

Way to go!!!  

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Thanks for sharing such an honest and positive experience. Feeling like a fraud or permanently defective after quitting is a pretty regular experience for us. I feel this daily. Grinding through and finding the inner strength to persevere is such a powerful and motivating experience.  (Wish I did this more)  Recovery is not an event but a continuing journey of daily battles on the road to self discovery and growth. I’m proud of you. Keep up the great work. We are here for you during the good times and bad. 

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Thank you so much for sharing! It gives me hope! Can you please share your supplements? I’m starting my quitting journey next week and I heard supplements really help 

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On 4/30/2020 at 9:39 PM, Brit said:

well... yesterday I fucking did it!!! My boss and the suits all said it was my best presentation yet, and I had to answer a ton of questions and even change some of my plan on the fly due to new company initiatives. I literally cried tears of joy after and haven’t lost my smile yet. I’ve suddenly had a ton more drive and energy that has lasted 30 straight hours. 

woo! ride the wave! (:

i truly believe that recovering means a series of these kinds of events - proving to yourself that you don't need Adderall to succeed. thanks for sharing!

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On 5/1/2020 at 11:21 PM, xenia0323 said:

Can you please share your supplements? I’m starting my quitting journey next week and I heard supplements really help 

@xenia0323 - I find the most benefit when I take them consistently each and every day, I didn't take them this weekend and definitely felt more depressed than I have in about a week. Get a pill holder, saves so much time and easier to take each day. I've spent a lot time researching brands and benefits of each one, so I shared links below for them.  Good luck, you got this!!! 

 

Morning: 1,3,4,7 I've been taking for a few years to help with side effects of Adderall. 

  1. Adrenal Health:  2 capsules: for stress and adrenal fatigue 
  2. Omega-3 Fish Oil: 1 1250mg capsule: Health, Brain and joint support
  3. L-Tyrosine: 1 500mg capsule for mental alertness
  4. Ginkgo Biloba: 1 550mg capsule for memory and concentration 
  5. D, L-Phenyalanine: 1 500mg capsule to enhance mood and energy levels 
  6. One-A-Day Women's Multi-Vitamin: Just cause I needed more Iron and Zinc + everything else
  7. Stress B-Complex: 1 capsule for stress support
  8. *Bromelain: 1 500mg capsule. I've taken this for a few years to help with inflammation, primarily sinuses. Not necessarily Adderall related. 
  9. *L-Lysine: 1 1000mg capsule, I've taken this for 8 years for cold sores. Haven't had one since.  Also helps with immune function. Not necessarily Adderall related.  But I've read that Adderall can wreck havoc on immune system. 
  10. Genius Mushrooms, I just started adding them to my morning routine today. They are an immune booster and for memory, energy and liver support. Can't fully recommend until I have more time to see how they are interacting with everything else and if I notice any sort of difference. 

Throughout the day: I've taken both throughout the years to help with side effects of Adderall.

  1. L-Tyrosine: I take again 1-2 more 500mg capsules throughout the day as needed for mental alertness. Usually in 3 hour increments during work days
  2. CBD Oil: Half-dropper to help with anxiety as needed

Evening: 

  1. Kava Kava: 1 700 mg to help with stress, mood and mental calmness
  2. CBD Oil: Half-dropper to help relax
  3. *Bromelain: 1 500mg capsule. I've taken this for a few years to help with inflammation, primarily sinuses. Not adderall related. 
  4. *L-Lysine: 1 1000mg capsule, I've taken this for 8 years for cold sores. Haven't had one since.  Always help with immune function
  5. For Sleep: 30 minutes before bed I take 2-3 of the below or mix & match depending on my mood so I take between 3-4.5mg of melatonin to help sleep every-night 
    1. Melatonin Gummy:  2-3 pieces for a more calming and natural sleep
    2. *Recoop, after stimulants: 2 capsules, I bought this subscription when I was still on Adderall, and found the night time pretty beneficial. Once I run out, I will not reorder as didn't take away all the side effects, but I really like them for sleeping pills. 

 

Would love to hear if anyone has something they recommend I add or feedback on what I am taking.  And thanks for all of the support on this post, it was very therapeutic to write it out! 

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