Brit

Anyone else lost all patience?

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There’s one side effect that’s been really bothering me and that’s that I have absolutely no patience and feel like I could snap at any moment. I can see red and start internally raging with just one little comment!

Normally I’ve prided myself on my extreme patience, but that’s totally out the window now, especially at work. I often feel like I’m the coach in a boxing ring having to hold myself back from saying stuff I’ll regret.

Anyone else experience this? I’m 37 days clean, I just didn’t expect this loss of control!

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4 hours ago, Brit said:

There’s one side effect that’s been really bothering me and that’s that I have absolutely no patience and feel like I could snap at any moment. I can see red and start internally raging with just one little comment!

Normally I’ve prided myself on my extreme patience, but that’s totally out the window now, especially at work. I often feel like I’m the coach in a boxing ring having to hold myself back from saying stuff I’ll regret.

Anyone else experience this? I’m 37 days clean, I just didn’t expect this loss of control!

I can totally relate.  I was also the most patient person too.  Mine feels like a combination of rage, panic and frustration. I have so much apathy that it’s hard to even care. I always try to walk away and calm down but it’s so rough because internally I just don’t give a crap. My job, relationships and even hobbies have become burdens to me on most days. I still prefer the peace and safety of isolation. Responsibilities and social interaction overwhelm me and I am so limited in my ability to handle stress.  It’s so hard to fake a smile and engage in small talk.  It’s like a fire burns inside me and a tiny bit of conflict or pressure and I’m about to blow. I wish I could say that mine is better now that I’m at one year off Adderall but it’s really not. I’m not crying regularly and my emotions have stabilized much more though. I might be one of the unfortunate ones whose progress is slower. I’ve accepted this reality and no matter what I’m staying the coarse. I have sacrificed and suffered way too much to ever do this again. This fight or flight feelings can’t last forever. One thing that helps is understanding that everything happening on the inside is not visible to the outside world. I practice my breathing and control my physical reactions.   Thanks for sharing your experience. You are definitely not alone. 

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I never really had a whole lot of patience to begin with. And it only got worse during my time on Adderall. I’m still working on being a more patient person, it’s probably my biggest character issue! Not necessarily in a raging, snapping at people kind of way; but I simply struggle contentedly waiting and working for the good things in life. I want it all and I want it right now. And when I get it, then I want the next thing and the next thing. I think ‘they’ call it a destination mindset. If I’m not careful, I can go through my days so focused on where I’m going and want to be that I totally miss out on ever experiencing a present moment. Being aware of this is the first step to healing. Slowing down is hard. This is one of those things that’s a life issue, not just an Adderall issue. And I can relate so deeply. There is hope, I’ve gotten so much better at being patient in recovery, and you will too! You just have to be patient....

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Really I thought I was the only one dealing with this problem!

When I was on Adderall I was a complete b*tch to everyone!! But now it's a different kind of rage. Not so much of a cocky attitude as much as severe impatience for absolutely ANYthing. I get irritated waiting for my laundry to be done. I'm even impatient while cooking dinner because I just want to eat. Things are moving soooo damn slow.

Also, I find that I'm being super annoying to my family lol. I just find joy in getting on people's nerves lately. It makes me laugh out loud in a hysterical, crazy type of way. I don't know...maybe it's quarantine :rolleyes:

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