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JennyF

Almost 11 Months!

2 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

It’s been 10 months and 3 weeks since I took my last pill of adderall.  I took somewhere between 60mg and 80mg both IR and XR even though I was prescribed only 30mg XR and 15mg IR a day.  I was on it for 5 years. 

I just wanted to hop on here and thank everyone for their posts and for sharing super valuable information.  I am 100% confident that I would’ve not made it this far if it wasn't for this forum.

I also wanted to share a few things that have helped me this far and that could help you:

1. Lower your expectations on how you are going to feel and your productivity for the FIRST ENTIRE YEAR.  Since my last pill I have had more bad days than good.  Months 1 - 3 were hard BUT 4 - 9 were unbearable.  The anxiety, the depression, the exhaustion, the anhedonia are incredible.  Getting close to 11 months I'm finally starting to feel a little productive and happier (some days :))

2. Put your recovery FIRST.  No matter how much pressure you feel to be productive or get out of bed, always think that nothing is more important than your recovery and that the ONLY way to recover is going through this process, giving it TIME. I have done the absolute minimum during this time and I have come to terms with it.

3. Do not put ANY pressure on yourself.  Many times I felt that I needed to get out of bed and be productive or go to the gym (I gained a lot of weight) or do laundry when I felt like doing nothing.  I would get so frustrated and that made me want adderall even more.  DON’T fall for this.  You are in a temporary process, just go with the flow.

4. Educate yourself - understand PAWS: Knowing what is happening to your brain and your body is SUPER important. Through my recovery I have had more PAWS days than good days but they are finally starting to ease up. People relapse thinking that they are going crazy and that they’ll never be able to function like a normal person again but that’s not true.

5. Weight gain: I was so hard on myself for gaining 30lbs but you shouldn't.  Just accept it and know that this is temporary and you’ll be able to lose the weight once your energy returns. I’m slowly starting to lose it now that I have more energy to exercise and no longer have the crazy hunger. 

I hope this helps some of you. And remember… there is  NO OTHER WAY out than going through it so you just have to keep going! 

 

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Thank you for posting this. This is new to me. I thought that maybe all of the negative feelings I was having indicated that I had no choice but to stay on stimulants to be an effective adult. Reading this helps me to remember that its going to be difficult and that being kind to myself is vital.

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