from tina to adderall to suboxone to ....

[2Cool4School]

[/f;'ont]

Hey there!

I'm Anna from Brooklyn, NY (also Russia). Late 20's. And I want to share with you guys my story, which is sure to be very similar to other stories on here.

Let me just start by saying that I am on Adderall prescribed by my doctor for the last two years,or so.. I loved it at first and then it turned on me blah blah you know the deal. Got very thin very fast (loved it!) felt like I was on top of the world and had it in control. Yet I ruined my three year relationship with a bf, who was an ok guy, jumped into a marriage with another guy, whome I loved but who was totally a bad bad choice,and he is in court mandated rehab right now, just 7 months into our marriage. And I am all alone, well with my pit bull Eli Manning.

But let me back up a little bit, to let you know why I fell in love with speed. At 21 I was a dancer in a club and did lots of coke in the bathroom, naturally. However,THAT got boring quick, well in around four to six months of binging on that and standing on balconies/rooftops, contemplating my next move, I still haven;t jumped yet. So one night, this girl "Dirty Diana" tells me (in the club bathroom) if I wanted to try something new, (*meth) fondly known as tina where im from. Anyhowoo One bump i fell in love.

After that needless to say I was hooked, crystal addict, active on and off, I stumbled half drunk thru my twenties, managing to lose more than I gained.

Eventually, I quit,kind of. And developed an aqute anxiety and a little depression, Ithought atthe time. I guess it's impossible to live thru crazy addiction and come out of it normal, in the head. I also got addicted to pain killers after platic surgery at 22... Now I am on two mg of suboxone.. to keep living.

Anyways, I went to this swanky manhattan shrink, complaining of anxiety and paranoia and he interupts me and says you have ADD. I go' no I don't

Adderall = he says, I go OK/

So the rest is history.

I \already got off (in december)) lexapro 20 MG and wellbutrine, but I am still strugling with Adderall.

Like we all know it numbs our feelings, so when Iam with my husband itis a bad idea for me to be all tweaked out and distant, but now that he is gone, I started popping pills again, since March 1st, because Iam so lonely! it's crazy.

I want to stop and I know I can, but I want support and some people that won't judge me and who UNDERSTAND what it's like.

So here Iam

Hope we can be friends lol

Anna

[Cassie]

Hi Anna, and welcome! I lived in Sheephead's Bay for a brief time, or "Little Russia" (lol), so your post brought back memories of Brooklyn. I understand what you mean about being lonely and taking the pills. I did the same thing when I was in a long distance relationship. I would binge on Adderall when I was alone and bored and missing my boyfriend. Adderall numbed my feelings and made the time go by so fast.

Good luck on your journey to quit this junk. I am almost four months off Adderall and I still crave it a lot, especially when I'm bored and feeling tired. But it's getting better as time goes by. I was recently talking to a friend of mine who was addicted to meth for two years (heavy user) several years ago before I met him. He said it took him a year after quitting meth to feel happy again. He said he was worried that he would never feel happiness again, but eventually it returned. Since I was on Adderall (meth jr.) for more than twice as long (five years), I figure it will take around a year for me too. I'm at least going to give it a year. I really don't ever want to go through this hell of quitting again.

Cassie