DelaneyJuliette Posted August 29, 2020 Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 Starting from NOW, I will not take more than prescribed in one day. (Total of 40mg of Adderall and 2mg of Klonapin.) Starting from NOW, I will begin to taper very very very slowly. (I know why it's not recommended, but again it is all I've got right now and if I don't do that than I won't do anything so I am going to try committing to that. It has worked for me in the past. I just have to be intentional.) Starting from NOW, I will write out a calendar with a realistic taper schedule. I will follow it. If I do not follow it, meaning, if by December I am still in the same place that I am in now, I will go to detox. I can't even believe I just wrote that out loud lol. I don't know how I am going to do this. I am scared. I am ambivalent. I don't want to try. I need to keep remembering the why behind the need to quit. B/c right now it just feels like ... annoying that I'm super tired but that's about it. I KNOW that is not the case - I have been trapped in the adderall world for the past 9 years. (And before that for about 4... but then I did have a period of sobriety for a handful of years and it was really really good.) I want to get back there. So, I need to quit b/c I am trapped. And I don't want to be trapped. And even though getting off the meds makes me a crazy emotional mess, I am lying to myself if I don't admit that being on them also makes me that way. I need to do this for myself, for my health, for my kids. I need to be the role model I want to be, even if they don't know the details. One day, I want to be able to talk to them about this as a thing of the past, not a thing I am still hiding. I can do this. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted August 31, 2020 Report Share Posted August 31, 2020 On 8/29/2020 at 5:07 AM, DelaneyJuliette said: And even though getting off the meds makes me a crazy emotional mess, I am lying to myself if I don't admit that being on them also makes me that way. this is a powerful realization, be sure to remember it! it's easy to glamorize and think fondly of Adderall when you're in recovery and the going gets tough - but the truth is that things were probably way worse on it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted September 16, 2020 Author Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 On 8/31/2020 at 4:42 PM, SleepyStupid said: this is a powerful realization, be sure to remember it! it's easy to glamorize and think fondly of Adderall when you're in recovery and the going gets tough - but the truth is that things were probably way worse on it. On 8/31/2020 at 4:42 PM, SleepyStupid said: this is a powerful realization, be sure to remember it! it's easy to glamorize and think fondly of Adderall when you're in recovery and the going gets tough - but the truth is that things were probably way worse on it. I feel like I don't know how to remember it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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