Evie25

Now the fun begins...

2 posts in this topic

I think I underestimated how hard it will be to get off this drug. The first 2-3 weeks I felt surprisingly good. I was a little lethargic and gained a few pounds (which I'm now exercising to take off). I'm almost at 1 month now off the pill and I want it back. BAD. I feel so bored by my job, apathetic, unmotivated, emotionless.

I must have used the addy to numb my feelings, to give me a sense of euphoria, because now I find myself looking for other ways to escape life. I've never been a big drinker, but I've started drinking more than usual. I am exercising and trying to make myself accomplish tasks at work, but I feel very down in general. Often asking myself, "what's the point to all of this?" (not in a suicidal way).

Please..I need some reassurance why I should put myself through all of this.

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Evie,

First off--welcome to the beginning of a new life. Congrats on making this choice and getting through the first few weeks....I think they are the hardest. I am clean over a month and trust me when I tell you..I get bored all the time at work...I used to be so EXCITED about work....but that "euphoric" feeling from the adderall was all a lie lie lie...Adderall made tasking FUN...I'm in the phase where I am learning how to focus again. I think once you can get this down...happy feelings start to come back...simple things such as feeling accomplished...the small things in life are what count:)

Adderall was an escape drug for me as well....I drink sometimes, but I recommend being careful with substituting substances...especially during this time where you are emotionally delicate...your brain is trying to regenerate..or like a computer...restarting without the narcotic boost.

I am here to assure you and remind you that you are here typing in these forums because there is a part of you, if not all of you...that wants this life change for yourself. The hardest part of addiction is having to remind yourself to not get back into dangerous cyclic patterns. I do not know your background....but there must have been legit reasons as to why you decided to put down your script. I was a disgusting junkie who barely wanted to survive...and I have my days where I am totally bored and miss the high...but then..I realize that being bored is much better than being so geeked and ultimately digging my own grave....

If you've gotten this far, continue on the road with the people that are here for you. You have my support and empathy...message me anytime if you wanna talk:)

You've got this!

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