ashley6

90 days and feeling depressed

44 posts in this topic

Hey all-

I'm just writing to seek a little feedback. I've been off of adderall for 90 days now and feel so depressed. I want to feel excited and proud of the 90 days I have under my belt, and I do, but the depression is so strong. I'm scheduling an appointment with a doctor ( who already knows about my history of abuse), just to get everything checked out, since I've basically neglected my body for the last 5 years. I read on here from a couple people that 90 days wasn't necessary a milestone for people feeling better. I'm going to ride it out but just looking for some words that might help....thanks!

-Ashley

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Do you exercise?? If not, you absolutely HAVE to exercise. Even if I wasn't fighting something like Adderall, I will feel a cloud of depression forming over my head after only two weeks of not exercising. My recommendation would be to do some form of exercise (start very light) for 10 days straight. It doesn't have to be much and be sure you don't overdue it so you can go the entire 10 days.

I'm only on day 40, but just want to encourage you and tell you to stay strong. Once you overcome your addiction to Adderall you become propelled by what you know you can become. It is almost like you are high on life for a little while (that's obviously where I got my username). It sounds like you are in that dead area; I wouldn't be surprised if the 3-5 months aren't the hardest.

Are you currently taking any medications? I don't know whether your doc sucks or not, but if he does he might recommend a second chance on Adderall. Be sure you don't take it. I don't know much, but I have shadowed a lot of physicians because I am trying to get into medical school. One thing I hate seeing is doctors that don't get to know patients and just think that pills will fix everything. If your doctor sucks he will not ask you many questions and will probably try to see you as quickly as possible and write you a prescription for an anti-depressant.

Do what you feel is right, but I think exercise will do the trick. My sister battles a lot with depression and she has done a good job of avoiding medication. Stay strong you can get through this!

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highonlife,

I couldn't agree with you more on the exercise. I've been pretty good about exercising since I quit. I was sitting by the pool two days ago feeling crappy, and it hit me, I hadn't exercised in a little while. I immediately got my clothes on and went for a couple mile walk, and it helped a lot. It usually does. I think it's easy to forget how much the exercise helps until you stop for a little bit and start wondering why you feel like shit. I'm so glad you responded, because I needed the reminder and motivation. I'll be focusing on working out this week. A lot of people have recommended yoga, so this just might be the week I look into it.

This doctor is a good one, so I doubt he'd recommend going back on adderall, but thanks for the heads up. I will gladly let him know that adderall is evil, and I let it ruin my life for too many years.

I appreciate your feedback, and I'll be acting on it :)

-Ashley

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Prozac helps ALOT. B12 injections once weekly for a month and then monthly.

Exercise.

Hang in there :)

I am the typical medical professional that won't help herself but knows how to help her patients. Crazy how that works :) I'm here if you have any questions. Psych is something I have researched and studied for years. Addiction and depression is a huge part of the psych world. You will get better based on reading your posts. It will just be a struggle. But I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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highonlife,

I'm feeling better. It comes in waves, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. I keep reminding myself that this is waaay better than life on adderall, because there is light at the end of the tunnel. Adderall is an abyss of depression and anxiety. I haven't done yoga yet but seriously plan on it this week. 40 days is an accomplishment for sure, so continue to hang in there! How are you feeling?

Addy8,

I appreciate the advice. I can't get into the doctor until the end of the month, but I will definitely ask about the B-12. I've never heard about that, so I'm glad to have some professional advice. Are you working on quitting?

I wish you both the best....keep me posted.

-Ashley

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I have read somewhere that it gets worse at the anniversary marks...3 months..6 months..a year...And this was also the case from personal experience. Especially three months!! I hope you feel better soon. You have just hit a big anniversary mark. So congratulations on the milestone...(but you may find yourself in the position of having to be extra strong through this!)

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Thank you for replying on my post. I appreciate the encouragement. I have made it through day one so that's a step. I am so happy that you have made it 90+ days. I have been exercising before, during and will try and continue when I am off of Adderall. I hope that it helps me the next few days, months and possibly even years.

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Ashley6,

I feel pretty good. Some days are better than others. Today is one of those not so hott days. But I agree with you in that nomatter how tough it seems to be, nothing is worse than being a zombie during those Adderall streaks. And nomatter how much it sucks I can eat and sleep and exercise the way I want. I can take control of the situation. I can rely on self discipline much better than pills. The pills tend to run out haha.

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We just have to take it a day at a time! It sounds like you're doing just that...hang in there and keep coming back here. You can do this :)

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Hi Ashley,

I felt the most depressed in months 2-4 as well, so you are not alone on that. It really is just your brain chemicals readjusting. The depression came in waves for me too and still does at times. Also, 90 days is a really short time to be sober from any drug. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let go of the fantasy that you can control your internal repair processes and let nature do its thing.

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90 days is a short time. Also, that is SO true what you mentioned 'the fantasy that you can control your internal repair'. You mentioned something earlier similar which helped me to cope with the frustration. I think there are a lot of things you can do in terms of coping with depression,staying motivated and how you face withdrawal that make things easier, but there is an element that you can't really control... the chemicals in your brain adjusting. Someone mentioned in another post that their dopamine receptors were 'shot'. I mean, that's basically what we're dealing with when we get off this stuff!! The healing - It's going to go at its own pace. And it will feel unpredictable. I have had to face that..am facing that. I think understanding PAWs helps understand that. I found this video (unfortunately its only 3 minutes of it)...as this guy mentions in the video,

(this guy talking in the video is a director of a rehab facility in, I think, California somewhere)

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I watched that video. I'm going to search for more of it online, because it was really good. Instant gratification is what got me here, but it's quite the opposite that's going to get me out. I've had some of my best days the past week,, but I'll remind myself of what you both said about brain chemistry the next time I have bad days, because it's really important to recognize...thanks to you both. I'm just going to continue to do my best with what I can control and just be patient while the rest falls into place.

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Wow I am seriously so grateful that I found this website. You people TRULY understand EXACTLY what it's like. I hope you are all doing well.

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It is amazing how things are tough even after the acute phase. My roommate thinks he is golden because he will go 3 or 4 days at a time without Adderall. The addictive part for me was not wanting Adderall everyday. It was making sure I had it when I needed it. I was addicted when I need to get crap done. That is what people do not understand.

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Zoloft will definitely help take that edge off. I'm a Major Depressive and take 150 mg daily. I also see a psychotherapist every week for 1 hour sessions. Try it.

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Zoloft will definitely help take that edge off. I'm a Major Depressive and take 150 mg daily. I also see a psychotherapist every week for 1 hour sessions. Try it.

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cxpx,

I tried toughing out the depression and anxiety for over 3 months, because it was to be expected for a little while, but it got to the point where it was getting worse, so I decided to see a doctor. I started Lexapro on Monday, so I'm hopeful it will help. I don't expect it to be a cure-all, because quitting adderall is serious stuff. I'll keep you updated. I also see my therapist once a week, and she's been extremely helpful.....thanks for your input :)

-Ashley

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Ashley, you seem to be very proactive in taking care of your emotional well-being! That's beautiful, good for you! Lexapro is great, I was on that for 2 years. How long have you been taking it? Give it about 1-2 weeks and take it every day. You'll notice a difference. When I quit adderall I was a complete mess. I became overly hostile and very depressed. I understand how you feel, and I'm on your side :)

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cxpx,

I thank you for your kind words. I'm glad things are looking up for you. I've realized that taking a back seat to this addiction thing does not work. It's a struggle, but I want to stay off of that crap more than anything. I hate those cravings and the aftermath of abusing for so many years, but I have to be patient and use as many tools as possible...thanks again. Your post made me feel good :)

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Cxpx, ritalin is an addictive stimulant as well. It is akin to suggesting an alcoholic switch from hard liquor to beer. I have seen many addicts who just replace one substance for another. The key is breaking the cycle of dependancy and being free of crutches altogether. It is tough, but addiction free is the best way to be.

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cxpx,

I agree with Cassie. I will never be able to be on a stimulant prescription and have control over it ever again. I'd be addicted to any medication that would give me any sort of speeding effect.

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