John256 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Hey Guys, So... I have been on and off Adderall/Vyvance since I started college in Fall 09. My doctor got me on Vyvance this January, and it is alot better/more subtle and mellow than adderall. I felt it was the perfect fit. But some of the problems with adderall still happen with Vyvance. For instance 1. Sometimes feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and paranoid those around me would notice. 2. Wanting to Isolate as the drug wears off. 3. Feeling nervous/anxious if I take it with coffee or an energy drink. 4. Inability to laugh or enjoy a joke. BUT... Its not so easy to just give it up altogether because of these things. Over the summer it is, because Im not really doing all that much that I need it for the ADHD symptoms. However, the Fall semester is coming up, and I can't imagine being able to make it through a school like mine (A Private Professional Health Sciences School) and being able to play soccer well for my team without it. I know/remember all the negative effects of the drug. I hate the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the high and low feeling. But I need it to study and get through class and my soccer games. Obviously, I know I cant get the good from it without also suffering the bad, but I don't have a choice. Its not so easy to drop it when you know that you need it to get through college and have a good life/future. So right now, as much as I hate what these drugs do to people, I can't see a way around re-upping on my prescription this fall going into the Fall semester and all these classes and games I will need it for. Trust me, I have tried to study and work on the course material without it, and It just doesn't work. I just don't understand things without ADHD medication... Especially math and sciences courses, which are about 90% of the classes at my school. So,..I'm not really sure what Im asking of you guys in writing this post. I guess I just wanted to get it out that I know a person is better off not being reliant on these pills, regardless of whether its Vyvance or Adderall, but that I feel like I will have to take them anyway to get through the upcoming year and graduate college with a decent GPA. What do you think? How would you feel if you were in my shoes? If you knew you were strong enough to stay sober, but you also knew that the only way you could make it through school and succeed in getting your degree was by taking the meds? A means to an end.., if you will? Maybe its the addiction talking,..I dunno. But I know this, I have never been able to get past school without medications, and when I tried, I could'nt study or understand the material. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding freedom Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 Cheers my friend, you said it man. It is trickier than tricky this whole addiction thing. I wish I had good advice for you, but just want to say that I understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John256 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Thank you Finding Freedom. I Appreciate you just empathizing, period. To everyone else, 71 views and only 1 response...really..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 John, do you have a break in school where you could quit or start weaning off? That would probably be the best time to get off the pills. You don't want to jeopardize school. That is addiction though, the belief that you need a substance to compensate for some lack of ability or skill. So, it's really easy to say I need them for school, now I need them for work, etc., etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John256 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Cassie, I hear you on the addiction thing. I mean, if you use that as reasoning or logic for taking the pills, it always seems okay or to make sense. It starts with "well I need them to study" and then.."well I need them to get my house cleaned today" ... Then before you know it you are taking them every day because you can always think up a reason to take stimulant meds that will help you be productive. Like that quote "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."..or something like that. So I know what you mean. But I also know that I can't just let my grades go to shit when I know there is something out there that I can take to help me pass and understand my courses. I get a summer break, a winter break, and of course spring break. Usually for those times I don't take any medications and just try to take a holiday from them as well as from school. What I wish is that I could either focus and concentrate the same without having to take stimulants, or that I could take stimulants and not be tempted to abuse them to feel high or to deal with the side effects from them. But I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too. Anyways, I guess all I can hope is to get through school as soon as possible, and then allow myself to learn how to cope with life without taking meds once I start a career. Fingers crossed, thanks for your advice Cassie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted August 4, 2012 Report Share Posted August 4, 2012 Honestly, it's not worth it. Addiction is not worth getting better grades. If i could have done it over again, I would have just sacrificed and gotten worse grades and bs'd my way through classes then to start relying on stimulants to get me through classes. Because what started as something i could control quickly turned into something I couldn't control. I was able to get away from it for one summer. But no summer after that. And if only i just didn't care so much about doing well in my classes...if only i was okay with doing poorly in my classes but without stimulants I wouldn't have turned into a full blown addict, which is what i became by the time i graduated. Be smart and just get off this stuff now and for good. Remember, it's your addiction, the irrational part of you that is convincing you to get back on them. Learn from everyone else on this site. No one, no doctor, knows better about what adderall can do to a person then the people on this site. Learn from everyone, and stay off it for good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted August 4, 2012 Report Share Posted August 4, 2012 Also, I may be an adult adhd skeptic, but you know, if you are really worried about your grades, most schools have academic advising department where you can get extra time on tests and stuff like that for students with ADHD. You can also find someone to assist you with notes. And tutoring.. Just don't take the stuff for school, there are other ways.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freedom's Wings Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 My heart goes out to you. FW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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