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Rahul

Over 30 Days And Counting

9 posts in this topic

I have been taking adderall since I was 19 years old, and now I'm 33. I first started to taking it only once a day for classes during college. After awhile like most speed it got addictive and I would either take more as the pressure built or if I had more tasks to do. At one point in my 20's I easily could swallow 6 30mg's a day for a total of 180mg's although I'm pretty sure that number was more like 10 and 300.

It basically got to the point that I couldn't do any new or simple task without popping a pill

Anyway over the last few years I reduced my dosage to about 20 mg's and was able to find it a little easier to drink or smoke weed myself to sleep. Which is essentially what I did when I was on the 30mg's just more hardcore

I think adderall was one of the main reasons I got fired from my previous jobs because I would either come in late because of the drinking or I couldn't get along with management. Recently I was hired into a position that caused me to move to my hometown and temporarily back into my parents house.

The first few months I was still taking adderall b/c of my grad studies. And I had a lot of tasks that needed to be completed at work

Well anyway I decided that once my grad studies were over with and my tasks at work were finished then I would quit cold turkey.

It has been very difficult these past 4 weeks and I feel like a zombie at work. I'm real lucky that this job is really laid back b/c if I would be in real trouble if it wasn't.

Around a month before I quit I hired a trainer at the gym I joined. In addition I started to read Game of Thrones which is an awesome book and TV series by the way. Being non - productive at work is really bugging me but I feel that I'm making a few strides. Luckily everything has fallen my way to where I haven't had to shoulder to much responsibility.

I did take some heat from my boss for having my legs propped up watching videos on the internet instead of working but I think I got that taken care of:)

I didn't think it was going to take several months to shake out all the cobwebs and it does suck but I think I'll be much better off in the long run. Even now it's taking a lot out of me to write this but it does help.

The exercise is giving me a lot more confidence in myself and yesterday I took my first yoga class. I probably looked stupid but since I quit taking adderall I don't worry about things like that anymore I just focus more on being myself. Today I found out I came in 2nd place in a gym attendance membership contest that my gym was holding and it felt awesome!!!

I do have a question for those who situations are similar to mine. Can anyone give me a basic idea on how long these cobwebs do last?

Also I wish everyone out there the best in their recovery I for the most part will be continuing to update this message board and I hope to hear from anyone and everyone who happens to read my story.

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Recovery is different for everybody. Cassie has noted that the average recovery time is about a month of recovery for every year you were on it. It was spot on for me - I used adderall for nine years and it took me nine months before I finally quit thinking about the shit a thousand times per day. Here is how my recovery went:

Ten weeks - I noticed a gradual improvement in cognition. I was a worthless crumpled towel for the first ten weeks but I held it together at work and spent a lot of couch time during the weekends. I really lamented the loss of my productivity. The cobwebs and mental fog lasted about 10-12 weeks after quitting

Three months - I started desiring more physical activity and becoming more productive at work

Five months - I felt vunerable to a relapse and got rid of all my pills

Nine months - I really couldn't tell much difference in how I felt between three months and nine months post quitting. But at nine months, I started sleeping better and getting more exercise

Twelve months - I started going to a yoga class, getting lots of exercise and began to lose weight. I began to regain my full level of productivity that I am capable of.

Fourteen months - where I am now. Lost 20 lbs (have another 15 yet to lose), doing regular exercise, weekly yoga, eating really well and getting shit done. I feel fully recovered from that awful addiction and there is NO WAY I will ever take another stimulant drug ever again, not even tobacco.

Stick with it, Rahul. You have a good start and a good outlook. As I see it, a long term stimulant addiction is simply unsustainable, unless you want to take it to your grave. Good Luck!

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Interesting thanks for the update I'll take it to heart. Wow a month for every year I would have quit a long time ago if I knew it was going to be this difficult.

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Rahul, welcome to the forums. i think that all the time honestly. If i only knew...i would have quit a long time ago.

Quit Once - congratulations on losing 20 lbs, i know that's been your goal for a while. keep it up...

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I agree with the if i only knew then what I know now thinking, except mine goes "if I only knew then....I would've never started this shit....ever."

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Rahul, I also like Game of Thrones...it reminds me of lord of the rings. I just remember in the beginning of quitting feeling so awful and there were a couple tv series that got me through it.(Lost,24) Because it helped to distract me from how i was feeling. I just watched episode after episode after episode...and ate tons of unhealthy stuff like ice cream...

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Rahul, I'm right there with you now! Congratulations on making it through the first month. That is really an incredible accomplishment, from my vantage point, and you should feel really great about that. It's hard! I think that at this point, you start to lose the immediate memory of the really awful parts of Adderall - sleepless nights, achy Adderall-hangover body, zombie-brain, inability to feel human or express honest emotions, etc. - and it's easy to romanticize the positive (although short-term) aspects of the drug. Just know that you're not going through it alone, and that it is worth it. YOU GOT THIS!

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I guess I need to get moving...I will be 40 next year and I don't want to feel any effects of adderall addiction by then. I like thinking about turning 40 and having it be better than my 30's, 20's...I am feeling a bit inspired to be more proactive and tackle my demons...Thanks all

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