Evie25 Posted August 24, 2012 Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 I've been off adderall for 3 1/2 months now and somehow the longer I've been off it, the more I miss it and want it back. In the beginning, I think there was some relief because I could sleep, my back didn't hurt from the hypertension, and I was so much more good natured. Now I'm finding it difficult to get through the day and missing the fact that addy brightened my day, even if only for a few hours. It made even the most bland, mundane days bearable. Now I feel disinterested in everything, bored with work, dead inside, but I don't really know why. I'm scared this could be my depression returning, as I've been on and off antidepressants all my life. And I'm also realizing that part of the reason I took addy was to diminish these depressed feelings. I am forgetting all of the negative side effects, no matter how much I remind myself, and missing that "rush," that high. Not sure what to do at this point, but if I had a prescription now, I'd probably get a refill (fortunately I don't). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edie Posted August 24, 2012 Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 Are you on an antidepressant now? Is a doctor following you during this process, one that knows about your experience with adderall? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie25 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 Are you on an antidepressant now? Is a doctor following you during this process, one that knows about your experience with adderall? Yes, I'm on lexapro and wellbutrin, prescribed my the same Dr. who I asked to cut me off from the adderall. I never told him I abused it, but I did tell him I hated the side effects. I decided to take the lexapro to help me quit the adderall. I'd tried quitting before without the lexapro and became horribly depressed. On the lexapro I've been at least semi-functional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edie Posted August 24, 2012 Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 Have you though about changing to a different antidepressant? I was on lexapro for about a year and then POOF, it stopped working and the black cloud was hanging over me again....Just a thought. I am on Cymbalta and getting ready to up my dose next month again because my depression is so sneaky, it takes over so quickly. "Semi-functional"...I hear ya, but don't we deserve better than that??? I feel at times that I am doomed to be depressed my whole life, but I want to get out of that mindset and enjoy the time I have now....it's just so hard to get up everyday and make that choice...am I right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted August 24, 2012 Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 Evie25, what you described, I have also been feeling that way. Ever since I decided to upgrade my status from 'being in recovery' to 'whatever this next phase is'...or perhaps before that, in a gradual way. I was on lexapro for many years, and then effexor. Now im on nothing. I'm not sure if i should get back on something or just tough this out and pray the black cloud goes away. Depression is horrible. Staying clean is already hard enough. I find that when I eat something, it helps with depression, i feel better when i have something in my stomach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie25 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 Edie, No, I haven't tried Cymbalta, but maybe I should talk to my Dr. about other options. I know that antidepressants can just sorta stop working, once you've used them for a while. From my past experiences, it's NOT been a good idea to go off antidepressants. Don't feel that all meds are bad, just the addictive ones (and SSRIS have never felt addictive to me). I too often feel I'm doomed to be depressed my whole life. You're right, we do have the choice to break that mindset, but it's a struggle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie25 Posted August 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 InRecovery, Good to know there are other people feeling this way as well. I'd definitely say I'm also in the 'whatever this next phase is' stage. Maybe it's something we have to go through before it gets better? I sure hope so.How did you feel when you were on the lexapro in the past? Hope you start to feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted August 26, 2012 Report Share Posted August 26, 2012 I think youre right. its something we need to go through in order to get better. .I was on lexapro for a long time. I think it made me feel better, but not sure, it was also kind of overshadowed by all the stimulants i was on, since i guess stimulants also act as an antidpressant. Hope you start to feel better too.. one day hopefully well be able to look back on this is a moment of perseverance in our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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