It has to happen now!!

[Jstk 0]

It's hard to know where to start when you're the type of person who doesn't know how to ask for help. So I'll start by introducing myself. I am Jacob and my story is like most of yours. I was first diagnosed with ADHD when I was 17 or 18 and was prescribed Ritalin by my doctor. For months I took it, lost 50 pounds and could focus on work. Soon it stopped working for me and all I had to show for it was a cranky angry attitude. I stopped taking it and was good till about a year ago. My partner (I'll call him Jt) has been taking Adderall for years now and when we moved in together I started taking it and it was great, it was love the fog had lifted in my head and I could do or be anything. I got myself back into school and planning my life out.

Soon when school started I wasn't going to get any sleep, so we decided to stay up all night and take Adderall to keep up going. I thought that was a great idea and at first it was nice because we would stay up all night and talk. That didn't last long; we both get so lost in doing random stuff and spend the night hours in silent darkness. We get 60 30mg pills every 24 days and at least 3 days we stay up all night, the day after is always horrible and we always decide to never do it again. A year and a half later we still are doing the same thing. When my partner first started talking about quitting this week I thought, ok you quit, I am not addicted to it and don't need to stop. I can see now how stupid that thought was.

Let me explain how the last 7 days has been for us. We were able to get a refill on the 26th, which we have no insurance for so it cost about $80, we needed if for Sunday so Saturday night we went to the 24hr pharmacy and got it after midnight. Jt had to be up at 530am so I decided to we would just stay up all night and we will be good. Sunday morning I was able to fall asleep at 7am and was back up taking more by 10am. Sunday night comes around and I still can't sleep so we decided again to stay up, Jt made it till about 3 and I was up all night, thus comes Tuesday night, Jt got home from work and we spent some together and he was off to sleep. I couldn't sleep still and was up all night but luckily didn't take any. Wednesday morning I was able to get 3 more hours of sleep, when Jt got home he wanted to take a half and so we did and he fell asleep no problem, I ended up being up all night. I had spent 3 and a half hours standing in the bathroom for no reason. Thursday morning I got to sleep around 7 and slept till 1230, just enough to dose up and make it to a job interview. I had to take more because I was so out of it and wanted to do good in my interview, by 3 Thursday night we both got to sleep. For 5 days I couldn't sleep, I had to force myself to eat and drink and I have absolutely nothing good to show for it. Today is the 31st and we have 7 pills out of the 60 we got, 18 days till we can refill again and have almost nothing left.

Wednesday night was the worst for me I was having chest pain, joint pains, I couldn’t focus my sight on anything more than 6 inches from my face so I came on to here. I started reading about what I need to do and I have decided that I am an addict and I need help. I told Jt Thursday that I was done taking it and that I would help him wean off of it. Today was supposed to be day 1 for me and about lunch time I was so irritable and hostile that Jt gave me a pill and I took it. It was at that point that I knew we have to do it at the same time and can't have it in our home.

I’m off to a great start. I need some advice on overcoming this and how we can both do it before it destroys everything that is important in our lives. I need so advice on how to get clean, and dealing with the withdraw symptoms?

[Worried Sister 0]

Hi Jacob! I've read on this site that there are supplements to help with the withdrawal, I would first consult your doctor before taking any supplements especially if you are taking other prescriptions. You never know how one supplement may react with another, do some research and see what might best fit your aliments. I've also read potassium, water, and exercise are very helpful while recovering. Remember it's a long road to quit and going cold turkey from what I hear isn't the best route. They also say getting lost in TV shows and Books help cope with the withdrawal. This site is awesome for methods of overcoming withdrawal. When you feel weak reach out to others on here, maybe find someone to chat with and share your experience, while you're going through a tough time, it's amazing what a little encouragement can do and it does go a long way. Don't forget your inner strength, it's in there!!! and you can fight this!!!

[waronwar 16]

I'm right there with you... ten years later and as crazy as I was with the meds throughout the years now that I am planning to quit to get healthy for my wedding and to hopefully have kids, I am more out of control w/ it than ever. My tolerance has never been like this and I just can't even begin to explain why I want to keep taking something that isn't even fun and makes me feel awful. I know it has altered my brain chemistry severely, but the main concern is I have severe chronic fatigue/possible narcolepsy. I remember my life before it and I slept all the time. I am so scared of the withdrawal b/c I could have slept my life away from fatigue before I met AD and the days I don't take it of course I'm worthless. So I expect like some kind of literal paralysis... I feel like I need to get everything ready to hibernate. I can't even imagine not taking it after 10 years. What a mess.

Thank you everyone for your inspiration! I will need lots of support.

[Cassie 1,041]

Waronwar,

Did you have a medical reason for your fatigue before adderall? I was tired all the time before adderall too and was convinced something was wrong with me, but blood tests didn't show anything abnormal. That was the biggest fear for me when quitting too, the return of chronic fatigue. And it was a valid fear, because I was extremely fatigued for the first three months. It was absolute hello. But I changed my diet, exercised every day, and did yoga three days a week, and by month 4-5 I felt fine physically. Better than before even. It takes effort but you can always eat healthier, work out harder, meditate more. Adderall however, will always catch up with you and only deplete your physical and mental resources in the end. Just because you were fatigued ten years ago doesn't mean you will be in the future. You can live and cope with your issues holistically, the only sustainable way. It takes tremendous patience and mentally letting go of the amphetamine energy that can only be obtained by amphetamines, but you can feel good in the future, and by good I mean not tired

[quit-once 1,628]

I have always had a lazy streak and that's why stimulants appealed to me in the first place. Realizing this helped me to accept the laziness and fatigue of adderall withdrawl and recovery. The most energizing thing I have ever done (besides using stimulants) was to lose some weight this summer. I have knocked off about 10% of my post- adderrall/cigarette body weight and I want to lose another 5% before year's end. Good nutrition and ample activity has made me feel like a million bucks this summer. I, too am a Yoga fan and I practice it 1-3 times per week (thanks, Cassie).