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Kyle_Chaos

Ready for normalcy

9 posts in this topic

I've been off the poison for about a month, and I still feel COMPLETELY bland mentally, I feel empty inside and like I don't know who I am period.

It's like I don't have opinions on things anymore..

It's odd to go to work and see everyone lively and enthusiasm..and I'm just empty.

How long can I expect to feel like this?'When will I return to normal?

I'm in need of some encouragement, because it's rough.

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I think it depends on how long you were on it, but after being on it 7 years myself, I'm beginning to feel the constant blah feeling and depression lift a decent amount from months 4 to 5. I still think of adderall every morning and throughout the day, but I'm finally starting to feel some relief. This has been the hardest battle of my life, so when bad times hit, I just remind myself, this is a process. This drug is overwhelmingly powerful and plays tricks on your mind, as you probably know. Just keep fighting through it and remind yourself that going back will only prolong all of the misery because adderall addiction is unsustainable. A month is definitely good, but just keep fighting. You will feel better, even if it feels like you won't. Patience is key.

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".....because adderall addiction is unsustainable" Ashley, you have just identified the difference between the quitters and the tryers. Once you realize and accept that your adderall addiction is unsustainable, then quitting and recovery (and the rest of it) is fairly straightforward process.

Kyle Chaos you just need to endure the unpleasant moment (days or weeks) in return for a future of freedom from addiction. In other words, man-up and deal with it. Find a new distraction or a healthy obsession. Just don't replace this addiction with another one.

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After four months I had a consistent level of physical energy again. The mental battle has been much harder, but once I had regained physical energy I found that I could fake the work/life enthusiasm, even if I was/am still anhedonic on the inside. My work ethic is another story - it still feels impaired nine months later. I still feel self-conscious every day working at a job sans speed.

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I appreciate it, it's on the days where I don't sleep enough/don't exercise that I crave it really bad.

I'm thinking I may get on Wellbutrin to help me out some, despite the mental cloudiness I may experience..hopefully it helps me out.

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"Kyle Chaos you just need to endure the unpleasant moment (days or weeks) in return for a future of freedom from addiction. In other words, man-up and deal with it. Find a new distraction or a healthy obsession. Just don't replace this addiction with another one."

That is certainly what one should do, any thoughts on why it usually isn't?

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Because it's addiction, and addiction lies and manipulates. Also, stopping adderall feels like being stripped bare emotionally. You feel everything, and it's to supreme levels. If given the option of having a "quick fix" or enduring the discomfort of giving up the adderall, it's a trap many people fall into. Continuing to remind myself that it has and will get easier and life tweaking on adderall is an endless cycle and really isn't a life at all is something I constantly have to remind myself of to stay off of adderall. It's the hardest, but best thing I've ever done for myself, and one pill would kill everything I've worked so hard for. Adderall gives you a false sense of security and confidence that makes it difficult to quit. You legitimately have to change your life. That's my theory on why people don't just stop.

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I don't care why others don't stop, lol. I just know I have stopped and I have an appt with you doc next week to cancel my upcoming scrip (I'm in the air force, it works a little different). One thing that has helped me this week is finding out that someone I dislike from work is prescribed Adderall. I always wondered (at least recently, now that I'm sober) why he seems so zombified and peculiar.

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One thing that has helped me this week is finding out that someone I dislike from work is prescribed Adderall. I always wondered (at least recently, now that I'm sober) why he seems so zombified and peculiar.

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