nmutua Posted October 4, 2012 Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 Hi everyone. I have been on adderall since I was 13, I am now 25. My diagnosis, add. I wouldn't say I am completely dependent but I am to an extent. I have no problems being on it I have adapted well to it the past 12 years. No major side effects. I have quit three times and have started it back 3 times. When my doctor put me on it when I was 13 I had the usual side effects, appetite loss and weight loss along with insomnia. But my focus was great. Went from making C's and B's to straight A's. It was great. After the first year my body adjusted and I started getting my appetite back and the insomnia was gone. I didn't mind being on it because I was excelling in school and sports. But after several years went by I wanted to be off of it. My first time to quit was the summer before my senior year in high school. Back then I took Adderall (not XR) and it would make me moody, my attitude could do a 180 at the snap of a finger. I hated how I was so dependent on it and just wanted to be normal like everyone else. If I went a day without it I was extremely tired and unmotivated and would binge eat. I just wanted to be a normal teenager and not have to rely on a drug to make me feel normal. The first week was rough I felt awful no energy and had aches. But as the weeks went on it got easier. I gained 20 pounds by my graduation. That summer I did a work program for the college I was attending in the fall and I was feeling great, I made friends got into the gym and had lost all the weight I gained. By the time college classes started I was doing great and everything was going well. I had lots of new friends a job and loved my classes. But about 2 months in I started feeling lonely and sad despite all of my friends being around I started missing classes and then eventually quit going to them. I would stay in my dorm and sleep all day I didn't have a care in the world for anything I was so depressed. I dropped out and moved back home in March. A month later found a job. Things got better and I slowly came out of my depression. I was use to my life without adderall. But that August I got a job working as an engineering clerk, and was mentally doing well but after a while it became stressful because my job required an eye for detail which meant I had to really focus and be aware. I had been off the drug for 2 years. The stress was to much so I decided to get back on and this time my doc put me on XR and I was doing well at work and no side effects this time besides being very motivated. The second time I quit was 2 years after starting back. I had gotten laid off due to the bad economy and was on unemployment. Going to the doctor and the cost of my prescription became to be too expensive so I had no choice but to quit cold turkey. It was tough the first week off but not as rough as the first time getting off. It only took a few months for me to adjust being without. I had gained weight again and more then the first time. And I hated the extra weight. It just didn't seem to want to come off but in time I learned to accept it and moved on. I was coping without adderall and my mind felt normal. No fog. The next year 2010 I met my husband and that summer we decided to move in together. Things were going well but I never got my energy back like I did the first time quitting. I was doing horrible at keeping up with the house cleaning so I decided to get back on the adderall. Big mistake! I regret doing that. I started back in September and I was doing fine. Motivated and focused. That December I was late for my menstrual cycle, found out I had a little blessing growing inside me so I had no choice but to quit cold turkey. But fortunately it was not a hard transition this time around. I did have little energy however mentally was doing well. The down side I was packing on weight fast, and it didn't help that being pregnant I was having cravings. By the time I was 38 weeks pregnant I had gained 80 lbs. Crazy I know. And I had preclampsia, my whole body was swollen and my blood pressure was high. I know the weight gain had to be the cause but I can't help but think the adderall had something to do with this as well. Anyways had my son and I was doing well. Didn't even need the adderall was doing good without it by this point. Life was great. Well it's now 2012. I decided to get back in school this fall and because of my fear to fail I decided to get back on Adderall. But let me make this known, I have not craved it nor have I had moments that I felt like relapsing. I honestly got back on due to a fear of failing. I failed the first time I went to college without adderall and didn't want it to happen again. I have been back on since June and have been doing fine except I do have a little bit of insomnia this time around. I take it every other day and sometimes go a couple days without it. After I finish my nursing program I intend to quite for good. I know I will be fine without it. I don't want to be battling my on and off relationship with adderall all my life. By the time I plan for my next child I want to be done with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmutua Posted October 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 After reading some of the forum, WOW is all I have to say. I have been taking Adderall half my life but I have never abused it nor taken more then my prescribed dose which is 30 mg a day. I thought I had a problem but mine seems like nothing compared to most. I am not totally dependent. I wouldn't call myself an addict either because if I really wanted to I could quit tomorrow cold turkey with no major issues. Adderall is the only substance I take. Only other pills I take are for heartburn and a good multivitamin. But even though my problem isn't as significant as others I am here for anyone out there who would like help or just someone to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FALCON Posted October 6, 2012 Report Share Posted October 6, 2012 Hay baby cakes don’t judge use everyone has a deferent response to adderall I am glad that you are symptom free some people have a tolerance issue and need to up there dose to get some benefit from the drug Its not abuse adderall becomes non effective for us after a long term use. So be gentle little girl and come back to the web sit when you need us we will be her for you. One qustion for you wy are you up at 4:38am jest qureas FALCON Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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