Confused

[MoveOn]

Ok so... Diagnosed with ADD as a kid - never medicated. Diagnosed with Anxiety as an adult shortly after college - prescribed klonopin. Felt a lot better. Tried to stop taking Klonopin and had physical withdrawals. Never abused the drug - eventually found that I could taper off of it and did so successfully. While I was tapering I was again diagnosed as an ADD adult at this time. Not hyperactive but easily distracted / forgetful / head in the clouds. It was amazing. For the first time I could focus on work and not everything else going on around me or whatever popped into my head that I needed to google ASAP that took me away from my work. I was actually on time and productive. I started at 10 mg adderall xr - it was eventually bumped to 20 - then bumped to 30. Changed to Vyvanse 50 mg for a month, then added adderall ir boosters to get through a 5am-10 pm typical day. Btw all this has been since march of this year. I felt great, got a promotion at work and was generally happy. However in the evening my fiancée complained of mood swings and lack of attention as I felt the need to constantly be doing something. Over this period of time my alcohol use in the evening increased to help with the comedown. It was August that I noticed a significant change. 5 months after being prescribed I didn't feel that great anymore. I noticed my first grey hairs - now it looks like a significant amount of what's growing in is grey - I'm 27 with no history of premature grey in my family. I've started to feel run down. It's hard to focus. I'm not as social. I seem to be paranoid - after reading the horrors stories of amphetamine use on teeth I rushed to the dentist - and my teeth were great. I feel like my face is oily and I now have dandruff. My body composition seems to have changed - despite eating I have noticed a loss of muscle mass and an increase in body fat. I used to be much more toned despite not working out a lot. I spent a period intensely working out and I did feel better but worried about my BP and heart rate as my heart would spike pretty high during running intervals - 198 being the highest. I sit at 122 resting bpm on a normal day. I do have caffeine which I know doesn't help. All of this is what's currently bothering me. The mood swings seem to have gotten worse despite trying to be careful about my food, vitamins, etc and I can at times sink into a very low depression. A year ago - I was disorganized, I would sleep in the evening and them stay up all night with a renewed burst of energy to accomplish what I needed to, I wasn't that motivated but things got done. Now I feel like I'm dependent on the adderall to fully wake up, talk on the phone to people, and do household chores - but at this point - I feel like I'm barely getting anything accomplished on it. The thing I do are half assed and that's on medication. I took a weekend break and slept and ate all weekend. I have been decreasing the amount I'm taking except for a few days here and there for work. I have all the right vitamins and supplements. Im at the point that I just want this shit out of my system. I don't have a problem with abuse and I don't take more than prescribed but I don't feel like its doing anything at this point but helping me function at a very basic level. I'm at a crossroads at work and a big transition where much is expected from me and I feel that dropping it entirely would severely hinder my performance and be very noticeable. I understand from an abuse perspective tapering off doesn't work, but from the prespective of taking it as prescribed and needing to do my job - what's the best way to get this junk out of me while not rendering me completely bedridden and exhausted ? Work means being up at 5 and being in front of people all day for sales. Has anyone had success tapering in this situation and by how much? At this point I've dropped the vyvanse and boosters and am on 40mg a day. I just want the old me back. But I don't want to have to be an exhausted zombie for the next few months who struggled to get through a day at work????

[FALCON]

HI there you are lucky you found this great web site it took me some time googaling to find this great web site .This is day # 21 that I have bin clean its not easy butt my new friends on this great website help me get thru the days. I’m not sure if you are a brother or a sister your not telling it duos not mater .I will jest call you confused. Well here I go I have bin on xanex for 20 years at a very high dos for anxiety I have also cut down to only 1 mlg a day from 8 milg a day What I want to express to you is you are taken two deferent meds one is to make you focus and the anther is to bring you back down I know what its like I have bin there it make no sense or it has no logic to it des two deferent drugs do the apposite of one another one brings you UP and the anther brings you down Fuck these shrinks they are nothing butt pill pushers think about it the shrinks got rid of the coach in there office and replaced it with a chair 10 minutes and your out the door . Lay off the alcohol for the time being it’s a depressant and makes you feel like shit the next day. I am happy to heir that you what to get off the junk good work you have come to the cross roads in your life like all of us readers eventually do. Tapering off the junk is a choice you will need to make on your Owen two choices taper or cold turkey. I guess its all about the will and how long you want to suffer each method are painful no way around it . I personally went cold turkey it was best for me just. I wanted to get it over with. Anyhow confused I tell everyone on my post if you go with cold turkey it takes about a week to get over the hump take a week off of what you are doing and do nothing let your body do its heeling sleep or do what ever makes you comfortable. Is far as your resting heart rate and your elevated Bp has me a little concerned I would advise you to see a dr. and let your dr, know about these issues regarding heart rate and Bp elevations I am concerned there may be a underlying problem going on I am not a dr. to give any health advice. I jest look at thinks in a logical manner What do I know I am jest a hopeful X junky . Maybe we can get some more advice for you with some advanced members and don’t wary about the gray hair its genetic I now some 18 year old people with a full head of gray hair that’s why god maid hair diy its not a problem don’t stress out about it…. YOUR FRIEND THE FALCON

[quit-once]

A heart rate of 122 bpm while at rest on adderall (sounds like an oxymoron) is probbably normal. On adderall, my resting heart rate was around 118 bpm. It is now exactly half that - about 58 bpm. So will your heart wear out faster if it beats harder and faster than it was designed to work? Will your veins and arteries handle the extra pressure over the long term? Your body is like a used car - it isn't about the age but it is more about the miles and how it was driven that will determine what kind of service it will give you.