Seeking Encouragement

[LILTEX41]

I feel like my confidence level just dropped off the face of the planet. I spent 7 hours yesterday trying to fill out a stupid application and I got one stupid question done!! 1! I've been waiting for 2 years to get into this program (never thought I stood a chance) and this past Monday the VP calls to tell me he's going to nominate me like I asked. If I get in this program, I'll pack up everything I own, put all of it in storage, and then travel for a year and half abroad for my company. I will have no expenses. They will pay for everything. All my money will go straight to my bank account, I'll get to travel for free, and I'll meet high ups within my company and make a name for myself. It's an opportunity of a lifetime. I am dying to get in the program. My old boss did it and just recently came back to train my station. Also, if I get in it, I'll be able to move back home to Ohio and have a job waiting for me after the 1.5 years abroard.

Is it normal that it would take someone 7 hours to fill out one question for something like this? I feel like I'm already giving up because my mind is telling me there is no way I'll be able to handle a job like this on my own with my scattered ADD brain. If I get accepted into this program I'll leave in August. Is it too early in my recovery to take on a challenge like this?

I think about the end of it too and what would be required of me. I'd come back to the US and then travel 50% of the time nationally. I'd be responsible for going to our locations, giving presentations (i'd be a consultant), and working witht the managers/supervisors to improve their processes and work flow, etc.

Is it possible to take on something like this without adderall after 6 years of being hooked? I honestly don't know. I keep telling myself don't expect too much of myself too soon. I just need to stay clean. I was thinking of my friend last night who has ADD worse than me and is now doing extremely well. She never took adderall or add drugs. Over the years I've noticed her abillity to overcome the disorder. Today she's a successful nurse/sales rep and has a beautiful house and married to a good guy. Anyhow, I'm rambling. I have to go to work. Any input is greatly appreciated!