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  • 3 weeks later...

getting better though right SomedayDreamer? you're out of the dark now, much better than days 1-6 right?

Overall, in the 30,000ft view? Yes, a bazillion times better. The biggest challenges and biggest rewards are both dawning, but I'm definitely leaning towards the positive. Most of the crappiest stuff is situational (job loss, finances etc) but INSIDE me, I feel gravitation towards a steady if staggered upward progression. Externals can always be beyond my control anyway, but internally I am feeling more and more like "I got this, some shit sucks in life, but I got this" :)

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Life is far too important to speed through it on Adderall!!!!!! Sure, we all had our honeymoon phase with the drug, but it was short lived and deceitful!!! It doesn't get any better or more real than just experiencing life the way it was meant to be lived: Adderall free (also free of a lot of other vices).

Reading this is incredibly motivating StartingOver. You sound really grounded and healthy. I'm @ 3 weeks and pretty much spend my days just going thru the motions. I do appreciate living stimulant free and yes there are momentary good feelings. What I look forward to the most is just to feel normal again.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm approaching 4 months clean and sober........ my life has never been better!!!! I'm broadcasting high school basketball games for a local radio station, selling advertising for the radio, and truly enjoying life. I haven't been able to say anything like that in over 5 years, and I've gotta tell you, it feels so good that it almost brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am so far removed from that dark dungeon that had become my life on Adderall.

Just a short update this time, but I feel so elated today that I had to post. As always, thank you all for your support. Let's continue to be a beacon of hope for anyone seeking inspiration to quit Adderall. Without this site, I would still be on the shit! Guaranteed!

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I'm approaching 4 months clean and sober........ my life has never been better!!!! I'm broadcasting high school basketball games for a local radio station, selling advertising for the radio, and truly enjoying life. I haven't been able to say anything like that in over 5 years, and I've gotta tell you, it feels so good that it almost brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am so far removed from that dark dungeon that had become my life on Adderall.

Thank you for posting this update and congratulations! I am so encouraged :)

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Thanks for posting, startingover3. Your original description of your story and how destitue your life seemed was such a great leaping off point, and it's great to see this thread follow through to how good you feel today. It's a terrific story, really positive.

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  • 3 weeks later...

4 months Adderall free! I am starting to sound like a broken record, but I haven't smoked (cigs, cigars, weed, anything) In over a year, I haven't taken pills, done any drugs, done anything like that in over a year, and I haven't taken an adderall in 4 months! Life is truly a blessing, and I am loving it so much! I do tend to think about Megan every now and again, and some days are worse than others, but I have accepted my life without her, and I am doing ok!!! Everything is peachy!!!!

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Startingover,

If you're sounding like a broken record talking about how great you're doing, that's the best possible place to be! Congratulations to you, and I'm so happy you're finding true happiness. It's amazing the sanity that comes with giving up adderall, huh? The fact that you don't feel like you NEED your ex is an amazing part of recovery and shows true progress. High fives all around!

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  • 1 month later...

Hello all!!!!

I am approaching a big milestone...6 MONTHS ADDERALL FREE!!!!!!!!!!

I never thought I would be able to say that AND feel this good!

My job is really starting to pick up, I am in the best physical shape of my life, and, most importantly, I am comfortable in my own skin! I finally love myself again, and can recognize my real, genuine personality!! Sure, there are some downer days every now and then, but, as I've said before in previous posts, that is just life! Adderall ruined all of the great little things about life that I appreciate so much now! Life is so vivid. I love interacting with people. I love laughing with people. Life is now about love, joy, creativity, and not about seclusion, depression, and disappointment. I have made more genuine memories in the last 6 months than I did during my 3 year blur on adderall!!!! Life has returned, and it is magnificent!!!!

I will close this post like I do all my others: If you're thinking about quitting adderall, do it! Don't waste another minute trying to rationalize to yourself the use of that nasty "medicine." Stop looking at it through rose-tinted glasses, and accept how badly your life is becoming on that shit. Everyone is supposed to struggle sometimes, Adderall doesn't change that. But, Adderall does remove TRUE happiness from life.

Just think, you could be typing something just like this in 6 months... and you will be smiling from ear to ear while doing so...

Thank you,

Tom

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@krax Just in my downtime. I bet I average less than an hour per day, whereas before, I was putting in like between 4-8 hours a day. I can enjoy them in moderation, which I definitely do. I had an obsession with them on adderall. Now, it's more of a random, occasional stress reliever.

The funny thing is, I never play on the weekends anymore. I would much rather be hanging out with my family and friends, which is much different than the way I was on Add. To say I'm in a much better place mentally would be a serious understatement. :D

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Thanks I really related to that part of your experience. During Ritalin/ focalin binges I would sneak out of bed and stay up all night working on computer music , just totally obsessed with it. Now I have no interest in it whatsoever.

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during the last 5 months when I was on it, I was actually taking it as prescribed, and I was getting 8 hours of sleep every night. So now that I stopped, I don't have an insanely unbalanced chemical makeup in my brain, and I am not horrendously sleep deprived.

SO3: I've got a question - and I ask this because I read your posts in one sitting and found them very compelling. My question is if I understand your story correctly, you went from abusing the addy (that is taking it more frequently than prescribed) to actually taking it in accordance with the prescription, is this right? It seems the consensus among recovering users is that once they started abusing it, they could never return to non-abusive use of the drug. Please understand I am distringuishing abuse from addiction.

Was this hard to do, and the big question for me is why you quit at that point if you had it under control?Thanks

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Krax, I wanted to quit cold turkey, but I felt like I couldn't do it, so I decided to give it a try as prescribed for once. I was still a very unhappy person during those five months. Losing Megan forced me to try taking it as prescribed. After awhile, I was so fed up with the medicine, I decided it was time to be done. I didn't care if my production would slip, or if my motivation would be gone. I knew I wasn't gonna get Megan back, and I knew I had to make some serious lifestyle changes in order to find happiness again.

Sebastian, I don't know where I said I took add for 5 years. I started towards the end of 09' and quit towards the end of 12'. So subtract 2 years from your assertion and we're on the same page.

I do experience small moments of depression, anxiety, etc. but that is because I am human. I take those moments in stride, and move onto the next experience. I don't find it necessary to explain every little moment when I get upset on this website. I'd much rather post about the big picture: my life is one thousand percent better off add, and that is without Megan being a part of it at all.

I am not on anti-depressants, nor am I on supplements. I can understand how some people would need those kind of things to move on from add. I am extremely blessed to not need them. I am lazy some days. Some days I just want to nap. Some days I am very productive. In conclusion, I am much more in touch with reality, both the good and the bad. Don't believe me if you don't want to, but I just know this: I am on this website to tell my story, to update everyone on my recovery, and to motivate others who were or are struggling with this difficult addiction. It can be beat, and I am beating it every day. Not every day is glorious, but I am happy to announce that I am living a genuine life now.

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  • 3 weeks later...

What's up, y'all?

It's been 6 months since my last addy... 6 months! Half a year! It has gone so fast, and I have no intentions of going back!

I realize that it seems like sunshine and rainbows are flying out of my ass in every post, and that I am living in a utopia, but this is not true. What is true is that I am living a life of purpose now. Off of mind-altering, hindering substances, and away from solitude and depression. I feel everything now: elation, excitement, sadness, laughter, stress, pressure, laziness, anxiety, fear, natural highs and natural lows. It is... Awesome. This is life, and as cliche as this sounds, I only get one shot at it, and I know I am doing it right now. I love life, I love this website, and I love who I am. I love knowing WHO I am, whereas on addy, I had no fucking clue who I was. I was on auto pilot, just along for the ride. Now I am in control of my life, and I am choosing to attempt to enjoy every moment: good and bad. Because without the bad, there would be no good, and that is what makes life so damn beautiful.

Love you guys,

Tom

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  • 1 month later...

Hello again,

I am approaching 8 months clean and free from Adderall, smoking, pills of any kind, etc. I still enjoy drinking once or twice a week, but I am by no means anywhere near dependent on alcohol.

Now that I got my substance-consumption status out of the way, lol... life is super cool. I have been a wee bit down lately, because I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my ex is already engaged to her new boyfriend. I didn't let it get to me too badly, just put me in a bit of a fog for a week or so. Other than that, I am doing great. My job is really taking off, and I am meeting and exceeding goals monthly. I am starting to make some decent money, and I am starting to look at moving into my own place again. I am also looking at getting a new car, which would be fucking sweet. No new prospects as far as the dating scene goes, but I am having fun being single. I am pretty much in a hunky-dory state of mind these days: I never get to high or too low, just pretty even keel. I was never even keel when on addy among other substances, as a matter of fact I was far from it. On addy, I couldn't handle any sort of set-back, nor could I strive to accomplish anything worth while.

Man how things have changed... so much has improved over these 8 months that it is almost surreal. It just goes to show that we humans are truly capable of anything if we set our minds to it...

By the way, my basketball game and golf game, along with my physical fitness in general, are at all time highs. I thought I was Tiger Woods when I golfed on Addy... If who I am TODAY i.e. sober and fit, went up against who I was on addy, my sober self would kick my addy-addicted degenerate's ass! hahaha! And my jump shot on the basketball court is getting a little ridiculous... wish I would have gotten clean years ago!!!!!

Get rid of your vices, life is full of real spices, that will bring to you unbelievable surprises,

Tom

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