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Shambo

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I'm not a fan of negativity but I'm a big fan of honesty & transparency so.....

I get 3 months of scripts, like most people. I had two left. I went 3 weeks without Adderall and I only had 2 rough days (feeling mildly depressed/tired) and I stayed in bed and watched TV those days. I took lots of supplements and I can't stress how huge of a difference that made in my entire being compared to the two months prior when I'd ran out of meds. HUGE difference- a good one:).

The last 3 weeks were some of the most relaxed and happy days I've had in years. I had many belly laughs. I smiled for no reason. I read no books (that felt good, but I missed them). I still had trouble going to sleep (Sam-E is to blame on that I just discovered- thanks, Jenna for that info). I gained 10 lbs and had no sex drive, but I went out to dinner with 3 different friends, 3 different nights and actually had authentic connection and conversations- and I ate. AND I drank a beer for the first time in years- and it was good.

But, knowing I had medicine sitting at the pharmacy for me was too strong a pull. I didn't have the courage to call the pharmacy to ask them to dispose of them. And I was afraid if I did, I may get weak and go by and look like a junkie to see if they'd forgotten to throw them away. The solution my addiction came up with is to wait until my next 3 month appt and tell my Dr. I want to take a break and go from there.

I have no doubt that I'd still be off meds if I didn't have access to them. I felt my old self and it was beyond great. It's proving a bit hard to fight off sadness since I got my meds.

I need this board for accountability. I know my time is coming when I'll be free. I'm grateful for this space to be vulnerable and share honestly.

Xoxo

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Chelle

Hay there I read your post on depression hurts thank you for the kind words you have heart. I can tell by your wrighting . The song is a good pick great old school group. Don’t beet up on yourself you are not ready to guit right now you will know when the time is Wright for you when the adderall is disrupting your life styl and you are in the zombie land. I don’t know if you are using or abusing there is a deferent’s .Some people need the aderall for real and some people like myself are addicts to everything. It is normal to bee addictive to aderall it is the nature of the drug when your on it long enough your body naturally depends on the drug. You will quit when your time comes . Is fare as your 10 extra pounds is concerned dont worry about it Beauty is in the heart, A loving women and a compassionate women has more beauty soul then a women whom is a narcissist .Iv been divorced’ for 6 years now and don my share of dating. Iv Ben with some very great looking wemen witch have no heart everything is only about them I call them ME ME ME MES wemen. Everything is about them. Then Iv bin with wemen who have heart and only think about how to plese you and give out there love .My choice of wemen is the one whom truly cares about you .Hang in there and try to enjoy your life every chance you get. I wish I can enjoy my days butt it’s a battle every signal day. I never have two days in a row that are good ones maybe after a year of being sober I may get some good feeling back .

Put a little something on your profile page no one will Know who you are.

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