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Searchingsoul9

Day two without Addie.

47 posts in this topic

With the help of all of you guys, i made it through yesterday/night without taking any pills. So, thank you!

I slept until almost noon today. Not proud of that at all. I was planning on waking up at least by 10. When school starts back i will need to be up by 5 am and out by 6, so sleeping all day is not a very good idea if i plan to stay off the drugs.

I'll admit, i am worried. It is only day two though. I am going to exercise again today. I woke up with this huge desire to jog. Yet, i am on my lazy ass in bed online.

I wont lie, i am scared for the weekend. I work nights at a restaurant and don't get off until 11:30-midnight. I am SO accustomed to taking my pills at 4pm and then binge drinking afterwork to come down. And i know that id have a pretty decent high after not taking the As for a few days.

I don't want to think about that right now though. I feel ok today.

Sort of in a fog still. Not tired, but brain feels half asleep.

Woke up and drank pineapple juice and ate some pineapple. Now i am not hungry, but craving to snack. *Grr*

Wish food had no appeal to me.

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Hang in there

Thank you! I am actually craving to read a book! I used to be such a bookworm, but the second i stated taking adderall i found i couldn't sit still long enough to read a book. I felt like it was a waste of the high. Now, i feel like i could sit and read all day!
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May I suggest "On Speed" by Nicolas Rasmussen, InRecovery recommended it in his book list, Amazon has it - it's helpful in understanding why you became so dependent which I think helps in recovery

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Searching....for sure my girl just live in the day! !! The weekend is a couple days off and a couple more days winning the war can be a huge asset for the weekend up again. the typical restaurant ummm nite life. LOL ...you gotta talk your ass through every moment girl!!! Just think how fuckin stoked you will be to continue to maintain control through another moment when addies nudge you...psssttt,hey,remember me??? You can say .. NO! !!! YOU REMEMBER ME MOTHER FUCKER? ???? WOOT.WOOT!!! YOU WILL FEEL QUITE GOOD IM THINKIN.LOL ...thank God profanity is cool on here...that wouldn't a worked with out it. Hahaha. Big hugs out to you!!!

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Searching....for sure my girl just live in the day! !! The weekend is a couple days off and a couple more days winning the war can be a huge asset for the weekend up again. the typical restaurant ummm nite life. LOL ...you gotta talk your ass through every moment girl!!! Just think how fuckin stoked you will be to continue to maintain control through another moment when addies nudge you...psssttt,hey,remember me??? You can say .. NO! !!! YOU REMEMBER ME MOTHER FUCKER? ???? WOOT.WOOT!!! YOU WILL FEEL QUITE GOOD IM THINKIN.LOL ...thank God profanity is cool on here...that wouldn't a worked with out it. Hahaha. Big hugs out to you!!!

haha, i do love some good old foul lingo. I will continue to take your advice of one step at a time my friend. I have been behaving like a lazy bum all day though. Watching documentaries on meth and addiction. Can't find any on adderall though on netflix. Going to force my butt to get on the treadmill again tonight. How is YOUR day?

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Its really good. I have been very surprised this time out how decent I feel at almost 3 weeks. Way different than back in 2006...that shit took foreva!! I have an awesome best .friend that is a single broke mom like me ...I'm only temp. Single my husband is serving a 4-5 year prison sentence...and his drug use that led up to that...just leveled us...and ill never get used to this...but it was jail or death. So it happened for a reason..ya know. I came to my moms when he went with our 3 ye old son and not much more...but without adderall finally even the dark of what happened is a little.brighter. that list dawned on me today. So thanks for asking....its been a good day.

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Its really good. I have been very surprised this time out how decent I feel at almost 3 weeks. Way different than back in 2006...that shit took foreva!! I have an awesome best .friend that is a single broke mom like me ...I'm only temp. Single my husband is serving a 4-5 year prison sentence...and his drug use that led up to that...just leveled us...and ill never get used to this...but it was jail or death. So it happened for a reason..ya know. I came to my moms when he went with our 3 ye old son and not much more...but without adderall finally even the dark of what happened is a little.brighter. that list dawned on me today. So thanks for asking....its been a good day.

I love how positive you are! I am sorry about your hubby. But i am very glad you have a great friend to help you along the way. Friends can really make all the difference. 3 weeks is intense! Very proud of ya!

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Searchingsoul, the beginning of your recovery sounds so similar to my own. I know a lot of folks say they LOSE the ability to concentrate after coming off adderall, but for me, I gained it back again. I'm really proud of you. Getting up and going to work is tough, and you know it will get a little tougher (actually a lot) so hang in there, and take each day as it comes. If you fuck up, we'll forgive you but you have also seen a bright shining example today of what happens when people disrespect their own boundaries and this forum HA!

One thing I loved during the early days was getting my sense of humor back. And giving a shit about other people. And actually being able to retain anything in my head. Take a note of these things, they do come back to you over time, those things you dearly loved about yourself that you didn't even know that they made you who you are, and now they are coming back.

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you know what, MFA and neversaynever, you two should find your first posts on here and the ones that were from your early days, you two made it thru all that, yes it's annoyingly ugh but NOT THAT BAD and then poof! you're out n thru it n coaxing others thru it... and SURE AS FUCK feels better than it did while in that mix... Good job on Day 2!

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I meant, find your first posts and link them or share them on this thread... ya, no? bein dumby over here... seemed like a good idea 45 seconds ago. I meant as encouragement ...

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OMG sky...I'm so gonna do that tonite...good lord linking I have no clue on ...ima let motivation handle that for me maybe...not sure if it can be done like that ...I. technologocially retaaaarded!!! Lol!!! I find that experience is the best knowledge on some things...this kinda being on of em. O know there's science of some kind behind everything....but I got this thing about the hands on shit! Back in high school...every book report I did was NON FICTION. my fave being. A book by the mother of Nancy spungen...the girlfriend of Sid. Viscous that died at the Chelsea in NYC prior to sids o.d.ing. LOL...FABULOUS READ STILL.!! I was all over the internet a year ago finding Addie quit info ...found this and I remember clicking the.comic portraying adderall users being better than the Meth /or crackheads across the way. Never forgot that. So I knew where to go when the time was right.

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lolol you crack me up lady!!!!!!!!!! I was thinking that they'd be a good read for others early in recovery!! those first few hairy days (hairy and hairy), and how you felt and how you got by......... and fast forward to now....

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Hahaha...yeah...I'm not right! Laughing does the soul good, especially after we all went way too many rounds with fuckin sponge Bob square kite. Mannnnn!!! At least you didn't yell me to calm the fuck down like falcon did.....LOL. he loves me ...why he gotta.be like that??? Muahhhh..falcon.

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Hahaha ....I love that one! !!!and Falcon and I are back together now too!!! LOL. Jesus Christ what a nightmare.

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My goodness this forum's been abuzz these last couple of days! The cast of characters at its finest.

Sky, I get what you're asking and yes I should do a "tell your story" post. Actually I never really did the whole autobiography thing because I was already 5 weeks in to recovery and honestly the idea of having to structure my thoughts and carve a story was fucking exhausting enough. I came on here to ask two very specific questions - one about short term memory loss (which I've annoyed you with now for over a month!) and one about judgment. I was hooked from the thoughtfulness of everyone's replies right from the start.

But I can retroactively piece together all the crap and put it up here, now I have got some semblance of logic and thought progression back again. Expect you'll be bored with that tome very shortly... but hey, you asked for it!

As for you neversaynever you're just crazy enough you might even end up writing your own sid-an-nancy style epithet... we will wait in anticipation...

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lol, I was thinking ya'lls first days posts but that's right you came here with a bunch of time under your belt already... so maybe just neversaynever's early tooth n nail posts... I dunno, seemed like a good idea at the time but now not so much... n yeah if you wanna write a how you got here story I'm sure we'd all dig it... !

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Searchingsoul, the beginning of your recovery sounds so similar to my own. I know a lot of folks say they LOSE the ability to concentrate after coming off adderall, but for me, I gained it back again. I'm really proud of you. Getting up and going to work is tough, and you know it will get a little tougher (actually a lot) so hang in there, and take each day as it comes. If you fuck up, we'll forgive you but you have also seen a bright shining example today of what happens when people disrespect their own boundaries and this forum HA!

One thing I loved during the early days was getting my sense of humor back. And giving a shit about other people. And actually being able to retain anything in my head. Take a note of these things, they do come back to you over time, those things you dearly loved about yourself that you didn't even know that they made you who you are, and now they are coming back.

Searchingsoul, the beginning of your recovery sounds so similar to my own. I know a lot of folks say they LOSE the ability to concentrate after coming off adderall, but for me, I gained it back again. I'm really proud of you. Getting up and going to work is tough, and you know it will get a little tougher (actually a lot) so hang in there, and take each day as it comes. If you fuck up, we'll forgive you but you have also seen a bright shining example today of what happens when people disrespect their own boundaries and this forum HA!

One thing I loved during the early days was getting my sense of humor back. And giving a shit about other people. And actually being able to retain anything in my head. Take a note of these things, they do come back to you over time, those things you dearly loved about yourself that you didn't even know that they made you who you are, and now they are coming back.

I am very glad to hear it! I notice some of my witty remarks are naturally coming back to me, which i missed. On adderall, when someone made a joke to me i kind of just stared blankly and then maybe found some lame retort in my mushy brain. But today i noticed some, dare i say "personality" come back to me during a text convo with a friend haha.

I am glad to hear our stories are similar in ways. It is nice to relate with someone. And to top it off, you seem like a cool ass chick :) Very happy i came across this lovely place.

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Searchingsoul9- I'm right here with you dreading the start of school again... For me the 22nd :( I'm on day 16 though...

Stay strong during your recovery :D keep us posted ya know?

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Searchingsoul9- I'm right here with you dreading the start of school again... For me the 22nd :( I'm on day 16 though...

Stay strong during your recovery :D keep us posted ya know?

I start the 22nd too! Ahh, not looking forward to it. It sucks because i "planned" to quit when i got on break dec 18th...but that didn't happen, so i m behind in the game. How is quitting going for you?

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I must figure out how ya'll doing this block off part of a post thingy!!! Hahaha..thinkin i should chill on the Ice coffee. And calm my jazziness...people will think I'm back.on the shit again!!! Lol!!"and ya know motivation...if your still in Brooklyn ...that's not all that far from R.I...HAHAHA. everyone knows once you clear new haven....you're golden. So don't be alarmed if.you're bushes are moving around....it might be me"!!! Checkin off personality and twisted sense of humor on my got it back list!!!

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It's definitely got it's ups and downs lol. I feel so much more evened out so-to-speak. My personality is the same throughout the day.

Unfortunately I need to apply to more schools (because I'm transferring after spring semester) and that has been hard.... I still have time but yeah... this is my first major task.

Quitting over the break has been good. I'm glad I was able to have christmas sober and enjoy all the good food and have a personality lol. Only wish it were summer break :/

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Neversaynever- you might be the hottest mom i have ever seen lol....... I guess the website wasn't kidding about adderall people being attractive?

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I must figure out how ya'll doing this block off part of a post thingy!!! Hahaha..thinkin i should chill on the Ice coffee. And calm my jazziness...people will think I'm back.on the shit again!!! Lol!!"and ya know motivation...if your still in Brooklyn ...that's not all that far from R.I...HAHAHA. everyone knows once you clear new haven....you're golden. So don't be alarmed if.you're bushes are moving around....it might be me"!!! Checkin off personality and twisted sense of humor on my got it back list!!!

haha, rhode island isn't toooo far from NY, where i live. feel free to come hide out by my house. Maybe if i was all bugged out on addies i would imagine you in them! lmao I am a fellow weirdo for sure!

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