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Judgement Day....Tomorrow


BeHereNow

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Just found out I'm getting observed tomorrow morning by the scariest, most intimidating supervisor on earth. I thought it was supposed to be next week but it's tomorrow.

I feel like I'm pretty OK at my job, but I know his presence is gonna trip me up, especially since he doesn't tend to judge through the most benevolent lens..... In fact, he is definitely gonna tear me apart afterwards no matter how well I feel that I'm doing.

Here's hoping that as I approach day 30, tomorrow won't be another PAWS day. It's pretty much impossible to have 2 in a row this far along.....right?

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You said it, lady... he's going to probably be tough no matter what.

so....

Do your best, remember, he shits and farts and fucks up like all the rest of us. People on this forum have told me I need to take deep breaths when faced with tough interpersonal situations, I'll re-use some of that karma right here. You have more control over your mental faculties now than you did a month ago, and more ability to sense correctly the situation, so just trust yourself and take some deep breaths.

You'll be great!

BTW, a weird little trick that I do sometimes when I am feeling intimidated. I think about someone whom I've admired in my life or career.... someone with composure, brilliance, a role model, and I imagine them in the situation I'm in, I pretend I'm them and I think to myself, "what would [insert brilliant person's name here] do? what would he/she say? how would he/she react and interact? what would be important to this person?", and strangely, that usually does it.

Another little trick - I watch videos of smart people being intimidated or questioned and see how they answer, I watch their body language and how they keep their composure. It's a great way to practice your "executive presence".

You'll do great! JUST DON"T TAKE ADDERALL (like I did... I really regret it)....

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occasional01

Don’t be intimidated by the big smock he is jest like you and I the only deference is he has some crazy ass title and a bigger salary then you and has that power trip on top of it all you are setting your self up to be intimidated you need to go into the meeting without fear. I am sour you have given your work 100% and that’s all that is expected of you your not supper man we can only do our best that’s all that is excepted . When your in that meeting tomorrow concentrate on your breath be aware of breathing into your abdomen and not your lunges this will calm you down breath control the us army snipers use this tactic when they are concentrating on a shot it works practice it when you get up in the morning and continue it thru out your day it does control anxiety which you seem like you have never let anyone intimidate you have control to over ride intimidation he is trained to intimidate that is his job so jest go in and be calm.

FALCON

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Wow. Sorry you have to deal with all that stress and butterfly nonsense leading up to tomorrow ..but since you stated this is just kinda his buttoned up demeanor ...just like ya said ...he'd be this way no matter what. Keep thinking....ya know what dude....I really wish I could tell ya how far I've come lately....how I am dealing with a whole shit ton of bullshit to take my freaking life back....trudging my ass on the road to well ville!!! Ya can't I know.....but YOU KNOW THIS...AND YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM KNOWS THIS!!! Get through it to the best of your ability...go home breathe a sigh of relief that "whewww,that shits over"...take a nice hot shower, have a kick ass dinner with a good someone/or someones in your life....then kick back and be so fucking happy about how far you've come,smile and sleep well!!!!! Those are the simple pleasures in life that you have earned my friend!!! Go do that shit tomorrow! !!!! LOL! !!

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Many thanks friends!!! Such excellent advice and so many supportive empowering words I'm overwhelmed.... I feel (and will probably do) a million times better from what you all have said! I'm about to go in..... didn't sleep much last night.....when I finally did drift off, I started having dreams about adderall :/ Good thing I don't have any and don't plan to. Just plain old me. Underslept, but I don't think it's a PAWS day. I hope. I'll let you know how it goes!

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No way I'm going near the adderall, my 30 day mark is on Monday and I don't have many options to obtain it anymore anyways--not that I would want to anymore at this point. I hate when my addicted mind has dreams about it, though it's the first dream I've had since I've been clean which is a good sign.

Soooo anyway.............It went GREAT! I do think I was better for not being all tweaked out. I am a much better speaker with more personality, calmer, clearer, more connected (just like you said, Ashley.) And Falcon and MIA all your words about not allowing this person to intimidate me really helped me to avoid feeling intimidated and go in there with confidence and compusure recognizing myself as in fact in many ways his equal (MIA I really liked that trick about imagining a role model! I will use those tips forever!)

And.... he actually had VERY positive things to say! That I am articulate, engaging, organized, handle questions well, etc. Coming from someone who is usually very harsh, these complements weigh even higher in my mind. He had very few very minor things to improve, and those were a good learning experience for me too.

So.....adderall-free VICTORY!!!! Thanks again everyone for being so supportive and helping me rock this thing! Time to celebrate-- (with all the little things you suggested, Heather :)

Happy Friday everyone!

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SWEET!!!!! ITS OVER!!!! WHERES MY HEAD DIDNT EVEN SEE THIS!!! And it went well....good for you! !!! I'm stoked for you ...and yes ...celebrate...cool on the 30 days comin!!! That's a big one. I'm strait cut off ...could get the paper can't turn it in for the prize,so to speak...pharmacy bells and alarms buzzing!!!! Oh nooooo!!! Not me !!! gueen of my own hustle! !!! Indeed...the reign is over. Glad yours is too!!"! Keep doing it sugarplum! !!!

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