Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Just randomly up and decided to flush all 80 of my 20mg pills.... I am an impulsive woman. I'm sure i will regret it in the morning! But, i will be thankful in the big scheme of things, 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Good job! Regret or not in the morning that was a great impulse decision. And did you hold onto any? ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Good job! Regret or not in the morning that was a great impulse decision. And did you hold onto any? ? Nope, none! Got my main stash, the one i keep in my purse, the one in the pill box, and a hidden 5mg hahha, all flushed. And i guarantee i haven't forgotten any. I never was good at hiding the pills and forgetting where i put them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Good job! And youre not going this alone. Each and every one of us is stronger i believe going it together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Congrats SearchingSoul!!! Great decision!!! Good for you!!! You are so strong!!!! I admire you and everyone here who flushes pills. There is no way in hell I would be able to flush a bunch of pills. I had run out and be cut off to quit. So.....you're pretty much my hero. Because can I just say........GAAAAAAHHHH!!! 80 pills!! Oh the things I could do with those!!!!! Just kidding....sort of. Okay, I've had my moment....brain fart.......LOL oh the beast of the addicted mind!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Good job! And youre not going this alone. Each and every one of us is stronger i believe going it together. Totally agree. I will need all the help i can get! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Congrats SearchingSoul!!! Great decision!!! Good for you!!! You are so strong!!!! I admire you and everyone here who flushes pills. There is no way in hell I would be able to flush a bunch of pills. I had run out and be cut off to quit. So.....you're pretty much my hero. Because can I just say........GAAAAAAHHHH!!! 80 pills!! Oh the things I could do with those!!!!! Just kidding....sort of. Okay, I've had my moment....brain fart.......LOL oh the beast of the addicted mind!!!! Congrats SearchingSoul!!! Great decision!!! Good for you!!! You are so strong!!!! I admire you and everyone here who flushes pills. There is no way in hell I would be able to flush a bunch of pills. I had run out and be cut off to quit. So.....you're pretty much my hero. Because can I just say........GAAAAAAHHHH!!! 80 pills!! Oh the things I could do with those!!!!! Just kidding....sort of. Okay, I've had my moment....brain fart.......LOL oh the beast of the addicted mind!!!! Aw, that's the nicest compliment ever! Although, i do not deserve the title of hero! haha i truly appreciate that comment. And yes, it was a big upsetting. Contemplated selling them because "what a waste of 80 pills!!" but we both know i wouldn't have sold them! I never thought in a million years i could have flushed them, but i guess it was that or go through another day hoping that it wont be my last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Daaaaaaang girl....you gonna be going to Vegas after all!!!! LOL. That was a wise move....you have got to learn to cope with every situation without them. Not every not so bad situation cuz I got like 80 of em hanging out behind some books....EVERY SITUATION CUZ YOUR AN ADDERALL ADDICT. cuz like me....someday if you keep going...you will end up cut off by the powers that be....they roll under the name DEA( they rock some cool duds with that ablaze on the back)...and you do not want them in your life. I got lucky that they came into mine without warrants....just a warning And I took it. It is the infinite bottom.....red flags don't just go away,and for me its what I needed to solidify what I knew ...and i believe the only thing that was ever gonna shut the junky up. Cuz I have an insane appetite for the shit....shoulda checked out long ago due to addies...not my time. The next time that woulda come...coulda been. And it can be for anyone with even the next pill.....I'm so very proud of you for going outside the comfort box and geting it done. Keep posting girl....we're not going anywhere!!! ... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Way to go, woman. That's huge! That's the best impulsive decision you could've made. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Nope, none! Got my main stash, the one i keep in my purse, the one in the pill box, and a hidden 5mg hahha, all flushed. And i guarantee i haven't forgotten any. I never was good at hiding the pills and forgetting where i put them. I think it's important to keep hold of this thread. Congratulations, I don't think you probably even realize the importance of what you have just done because maybe the cravings haven't really set in. When I was first "scared straight", I had NO desire to take adderall at all for the first, oh, 8 weeks. Now, I know if I had some I would take them (and as you all know I did such a thing). DO NOT REGRET THIS DECISION. Ever. In 3, 4, 6, 12 months time when you find yourself "wishing" you hadn't flushed all your pills, read this thread. It's not like throwing out a pair of shoes you didn't wear last season and then wishing you had them later on the next year when you buy something to wear them with. This is a REALLY important thing you've done - you've forever extricated yourself from a powerful, bad influence on your life. Gold star to you! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 I second the gold star! Great job by you !! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Congrats on the flush! That is a lot of pills gone. That must have felt really empowering to say, 'good riddance.' Did you cut yourself off from your doctor? If not I recommend doing that immediately while you're still on the quitting high. It's really easy to relapse if you keep that window open. I flushed pills and tore up two prescriptions and two months later I went crawling back to the doctor because of the withdrawals. As MFA alluded to, the real mind-fuck cravings start hitting right around the same time you start forgetting why Adderall is bad for you, and that tends to happen around the two month point... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Daaaaaaang girl....you gonna be going to Vegas after all!!!! LOL. That was a wise move....you have got to learn to cope with every situation without them. Not every not so bad situation cuz I got like 80 of em hanging out behind some books....EVERY SITUATION CUZ YOUR AN ADDERALL ADDICT. cuz like me....someday if you keep going...you will end up cut off by the powers that be....they roll under the name DEA( they rock some cool duds with that ablaze on the back)...and you do not want them in your life. I got lucky that they came into mine without warrants....just a warning And I took it. It is the infinite bottom.....red flags don't just go away,and for me its what I needed to solidify what I knew ...and i believe the only thing that was ever gonna shut the junky up. Cuz I have an insane appetite for the shit....shoulda checked out long ago due to addies...not my time. The next time that woulda come...coulda been. And it can be for anyone with even the next pill.....I'm so very proud of you for going outside the comfort box and geting it done. Keep posting girl....we're not going anywhere!!! ... Thank you my love! I have dealt with the DEA before, but not related to my drug use haha, stupid ex boyfriend, his warrants, drama, lol. But i did not like them or their attitudes and would be happy to never deal with that again! Today sucks, but that's because i've been sick with the flu? Maybe, i'm not sure, but it's been bad. So i am dealing with adderall fog times 10. Plus tomorrow i will be in the docs at 9. then school from noon-9:30pm. I am nervous i wont retain anything. Or be coughing up a lung the entire time. Eugh, i have no desire to do anything besides lay around and eat, and sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 I think it's important to keep hold of this thread. Congratulations, I don't think you probably even realize the importance of what you have just done because maybe the cravings haven't really set in. When I was first "scared straight", I had NO desire to take adderall at all for the first, oh, 8 weeks. Now, I know if I had some I would take them (and as you all know I did such a thing). DO NOT REGRET THIS DECISION. Ever. In 3, 4, 6, 12 months time when you find yourself "wishing" you hadn't flushed all your pills, read this thread. It's not like throwing out a pair of shoes you didn't wear last season and then wishing you had them later on the next year when you buy something to wear them with. This is a REALLY important thing you've done - you've forever extricated yourself from a powerful, bad influence on your life. Gold star to you! Thank you so much! I haven't found myself regretting my decision yet, but that's just because i am in such a massive brain fog/half awake state that i don't even have a single thought in my mind. I know the cravings will come, but i also know that the adderall has legit stopped giving me any effects. All i was getting was slight energy and loss of appetite. But i still found myself stuffing my face at night after drinking 8 shots of vodka. On the plus side, i don't have a desire for alcohol when i don't take the adderall. On the negative side, i am a raging bitch. I have been such a moody person today. And my mom doesn't understand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 I second the gold star! Great job by you !! Thank you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Congrats on the flush! That is a lot of pills gone. That must have felt really empowering to say, 'good riddance.' Did you cut yourself off from your doctor? If not I recommend doing that immediately while you're still on the quitting high. It's really easy to relapse if you keep that window open. I flushed pills and tore up two prescriptions and two months later I went crawling back to the doctor because of the withdrawals. As MFA alluded to, the real mind-fuck cravings start hitting right around the same time you start forgetting why Adderall is bad for you, and that tends to happen around the two month point... I haven't cut off my doc yet, but i really need to. Only problem is, i don't know what to say to her. She has always made it really awkward and she makes me feel like it is my DUTY to come to each appointment and refil my script She even got me a 3 month supply from medco, and a month later she told me to come in so she could give me an extra supply "just incase".She is MEGA drug pusher. I am scared to tell her that i no longer want to be on the adderall. I don't want to tell her it's because i abuse it, I was planning on saying that my doctor recommended i stop due to it aggravating my reynauds and that it was changing my personality. IdeaS? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Good lord girl....come in for extra just in case....she woulda been high commander on my team of physicians...for sure...thinking like I did when I was all screwed up and spinning, she's that "cool one " that rarely comes along ..technically they strip licenses to practice and prescribe for that shit..I had the ones that would buy the "I lost my script" and ones that I did not even attempt early fills with...it was part of my game....frazzled busy housewife with sooo much to juggle...little Capri pants with some flats and a freshly pressed little white Oxford never hurt the cause either. But under it all ...strait raging lunatic with nothing to juggle but acquiring more pills from about 6 doctors and who goes with which pharmacy (don't fuck that shit up...elementary addiction there..LOL ) and who has the best price ...and who can I acquire a store credit from to pay for the shit...by stealing and returning their own shit....matching SKU #S to the right products......mother fucking exhausting!!!! Gone is the chaos of my chase....even my worst day thus far of my 39 clean days....beats that shit. Hang in there girl...use that sense of humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 SearchingSoul, Your doctor doesn't own you. This isn't some mental hospital from the 50s where you're strapped down to a bed and force-fed medication. Tell her you're getting off because of the side effects, because you don't like the way it makes you feel, because you don't need it anymore - it doesn't matter what the reason is. You're the patient who doesn't want to be prescribed it anymore. Or just send a letter to her office and cease contact. Get rid of that creep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FALCON Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Searchingsoul9 Hay sister baby girlfriend you have surprised this old dud congratulations on the flush. I hope it was your hole stash . You thru me for a loop I really didn’t think you had it in you. I am very proud of you you have jest errand my respect girlfriend. I hope you are feeling better with the depression and I hope you are eating food you still need to get a handle on that ED issue your dealing with butt hay one step at a time jest keep clean from the adderall it was a big step in your recovery .As fair as your doctor is concerned you do not need to be intimidated by her she is like you and I no different she jest got some fancy ass M.D in back of her name and it sounds to me she has a big ego also .I am thinking about something is your Doctor the right person for you and your recovery because you seem like you cant be open with her and you are uncomfortable with her you jest may not be a good match please reconsider finding some doctor you will feel comfortable with . Never be intimidated by anyone you are to street wise for that don’t be scared of change sometimes change is a good and necessary thing to do. Your friend FALCON 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 SearchingSoul, Your doctor doesn't own you. This isn't some mental hospital from the 50s where you're strapped down to a bed and force-fed medication. Tell her you're getting off because of the side effects, because you don't like the way it makes you feel, because you don't need it anymore - it doesn't matter what the reason is. You're the patient who doesn't want to be prescribed it anymore. Or just send a letter to her office and cease contact. Get rid of that creep. Good point. I will contact her tomorrow morning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Searchingsoul9 Hay sister baby girlfriend you have surprised this old dud congratulations on the flush. I hope it was your hole stash . You thru me for a loop I really didn’t think you had it in you. I am very proud of you you have jest errand my respect girlfriend. I hope you are feeling better with the depression and I hope you are eating food you still need to get a handle on that ED issue your dealing with butt hay one step at a time jest keep clean from the adderall it was a big step in your recovery .As fair as your doctor is concerned you do not need to be intimidated by her she is like you and I no different she jest got some fancy ass M.D in back of her name and it sounds to me she has a big ego also .I am thinking about something is your Doctor the right person for you and your recovery because you seem like you cant be open with her and you are uncomfortable with her you jest may not be a good match please reconsider finding some doctor you will feel comfortable with . Never be intimidated by anyone you are to street wise for that don’t be scared of change sometimes change is a good and necessary thing to do. Your friend FALCON I am dropping that doctor tomorrow. She only prescribed for me. She is not my primary care physician. My primary is really sweet and i am comfortable with her. I see her tomorrow to get my blood work results. I also am in the process of finding a new counselor. I found an AMAZING woman who was willing to talk to me for 1 hour 2X a week, every week for as long as i needed it. She specializes in EDs, but then it all went to hell when i found out she doesn't take my insurance and i would have to pay 250 dollars per visit. So i am back to square one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Thank you so much! I haven't found myself regretting my decision yet, but that's just because i am in such a massive brain fog/half awake state that i don't even have a single thought in my mind. I know the cravings will come, but i also know that the adderall has legit stopped giving me any effects. All i was getting was slight energy and loss of appetite. But i still found myself stuffing my face at night after drinking 8 shots of vodka. On the plus side, i don't have a desire for alcohol when i don't take the adderall. On the negative side, i am a raging bitch. I have been such a moody person today. And my mom doesn't understand it. You don't seem like a raging bitch to me. And you're forgiven for any icky behavior for a little while at least. You are sick, and you're focusing on getting better. Be gentle with yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2013 You don't seem like a raging bitch to me. And you're forgiven for any icky behavior for a little while at least. You are sick, and you're focusing on getting better. Be gentle with yourself. Thank you<33 i'm trying. I am a sobbing bitch now though haha. When i'm alone in my room, all i can do is cry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FALCON Posted January 29, 2013 Report Share Posted January 29, 2013 Cry all you want crying is actually therapeutic it brings out a lot of chemicals to make you feel better you are having a hard day cry your eyes out and get a good night sleep tomorrow will be a another challenging day for you A BIG HUG FOR YOU it will be OK time will heal. Your friend FALCON Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2013 Cry all you want crying is actually therapeutic it brings out a lot of chemicals to make you feel better you are having a hard day cry your eyes out and get a good night sleep tomorrow will be a another challenging day for you A BIG HUG FOR YOU it will be OK time will heal. Your friend FALCON Thank you!!! Tomorrow will be a challenge, but i know i will have to get through it sober. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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