FALCON

The falcon is fucked up

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Hey my brothers and sisters sorry I haven’t Ben posting in a couple of days I am not doing well at all my friend depression is back to pay me a visit its like she does not want me to forget that shes still with me and she is the only one to put me in my place shes kicking me in the ass big time. I am not working right now so I sleep tell 11 am and then try to wake my ass up with coffee that takes about 1 and a half hours to do motivation is at -0 000. I don’t think my antidepressants are working well for me they are starting to loos there affect on my serotonin leaves. I know this feeling vary well the meds jest stop working its probably time to change medication I know this ruteen by now I have Ben thru it many of times I hat trying new medication because of the fucken side affects I have tried every fucken antidepressant there is .I am sorry I have not Ben contributing to the forum lately I am so fucked up big time I hop I will pull out of this latest bout of depression jest feel so hopeless I hate this feeling jest feel so lonely and hopeless and fatigue haven’t Ben on the trail lately its to cold out or may be its an excuse I don’t know my depression is

almost to the point of a disability. I don’t need a pat on the back or pity party from my friends at quitting addarell I jest feel you guys are the only ones whom understand me .Jest put out some good energy out there and think about me in a positive way I will feel your thoughts come to me it will help.

Thank you my good friends love you all FALCON

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hey my brother falcon, I'm sorry to hear that... it's got to be something in the air or the water my friend, you're not the only one... I think everyone is feeling similar right now. I have had a shitty week too, it's been a bummer. all we can do is wait it out. it sucks though, and I'm bummed to hear the falcon is hurting right now... you haven't posted any music videos in a while, why the hell not. let's see some clapton or some bb or some knopfler or some frampton or who ever you like....

http://youtu.be/y7rFYbMhcG8

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Miss you Falcon! This might sound really shallow but the thing that helps me get my ass out the door on cold, gray winter days is long underwear. That's right -- when I'm feeling super-low it can be a challenge just to go outside and being warm is like saying F you depression. I'm going out no matter what -even if it's just to walk around the block. I know depression is a lot more complicated than that but just want you to know you're in my thoughts. xo

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Falcon my brother, can I repay you that hug now? I think what sky says is right... for some reason we all seem to be suffering the winter blues! Maybe we should all take a trip down to Florida and go sit on a beach somewhere.

Falcon you talk about the depression a lot, and that you find it hard to get up (believe me, I know, I have experienced this a lot recently too). What other symptoms are there? Apart from the oversleeping? Is it that you feel isolated, don't want to see people, don't want to be in public places, or do anything in particular?

I don't know if this helps, and I am my own worst example, but I discovered the sauna at the gym the other day. I know you hate gyms but being in the heat was really, really nice. I stayed there until I sweat a lot - the heat made me feel alive, and I had nothing to listen to, nothing to bother me except the creaking of the cedar. It was a really nice moment, enough to get me through the day and I felt a little bit invigorated afterwards.

I can imagine being on a boat in a freezing cold river doesn't help. Can you get yourself in to some warmth for a while?

Here is a gif to make you laugh, just in case you're thinking you're having a bad day at least you're not this guy.... it's got nothing to do with anything but I can't look at it and not laugh (sorry Raptors fans...) http://i.imgur.com/eMC98.gif

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Sorry to hear that Falcon! Sky is right, it really does seem to be going around......I'm blaming it on the doldrums of winter. (The sunlight does affect seratonin as I'm sure you know.....and the cold is pretty demotivating....) Sending all positive thoughts your way..... You will live through this....it will pass.

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Falcon, I'm not sure but I think you're in the midwest? This freezing cold snap is murder on the soul!! I'm up in Minnesota (deep-frozen tundra)- our body/minds just wanna hibernate I think-- or nature's instincts tell us "migrate or die" and it IS depressing for real.

I do hope the heavy heart lifts for you soon.

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do ya'll take vitamin D? I wonder if that helps with the cold/dark season blues? Is that what people sit in front of those lights for? is it the light or the vitamin D? Yo The Falcon, do you take vitamin D supplements? You may have a deficiency bro.

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Yep-- that's why people with seasonal depression sit in front of those UV lamps during the winter.... I think it is vitamin D, but I also wonder if there's something more to it. Vitamin D from sunlight is supposed to be better than supplements, but is there something about the sunlight itself that's good for maintaining a positive mood?

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Probably being warm and cozy! I don't think anyone could be super peppy and happy living on a boat on a cold river in Chicago, alone while battling addiciton and remaining drug free. Yo Falcon that's the same as putting a bunch of bricks in your backpack when you go for a hike-- you're making it harder on yourself! I googled Vitamin D and sho nuff it's good for depression, so I guess if you don't have the sun around to bask in, you gotta get sun in a bottle, and no not Sunny D, vitamin D.

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I've been trying to just dance. Any where and every where. I am to the point that I don't care if I look stupid. If you have any mobility issues, maybe just singing as loud as you can to your favorite song. I am not sure if these things will help but I do hope you get out of this funk. It fucking sucks!!! I go from day to day, up and down. Good luck my friend.

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I've been trying to just dance. Any where and every where. I am to the point that I don't care if I look stupid. If you have any mobility issues, maybe just singing as loud as you can to your favorite song.

I have to agree with you on this one ldmcniel! Music and dancing and singing every morning and every night and on my ipod walking around all the time I don't care who sees or hears, I'm dancing all the time and I swear by it!! There is something magicall healing and uplifting about music, singing and/or dancing :)

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Probably being warm and cozy!

Sitting here in my warmest overcoat and hat, with no heat, I can attest to this! I have been waiting for the boiler repair guy to get here for hours... stuck in traffic my ass. He asked me what is wrong with it and I'm like, "I'm from the Southern Hemisphere where our idea of "heating" during the winter is UGG boots! Just fucking get here already dude!"

He thought that was hilarious. I think it's abominable. brrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Thank you for all the worm responses concerning my depression I love you all jest reading all your post makes me feel better like hay someone cares about me you guys are like family to me. I feel like I can be open and honest with you all .I am not in the boat house right now lake Michigan is getting ready to freeze the harbor has ice in it. I will be back on bored in April it is fucken cold her right now and no sun .

Thank you all for your remades you have suggested for the cure of my depression .Like they say the storm will blow over I will be OK I am so use to the ups and downs its jest part of my life and I know how to deal with it the best way I can.

THE FALCON

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That's the spirit, they don't call you THE FALCON for nothing. You have the inner ability to soar above it all, strong like a falcon. You have our undying respect and gratitude. Words on these series of tubes called internets can hardly suffice, but you have affected many lives through this forum and continue to do so even today. We love you, Falcon. Stay strong.

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Falcon it's a tough world and I can tell you I definitely get the blues.... they are the worst. I also have seasonal depression pretty bad and have most of my life. Hang in there and remember emotions/feelings are like waves... they come and they go. They are a natural part of life and we are supposed to feel things. Many of us just have to learn to cope with the bad feelings by feeling and working through them instead of numbing out.

You are not alone. Stay strong... the sun will come out soon and it will get better :)

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Oh WTF FALCON!! IM SO LATE IN ON THIS!! I hope tho that with my lapse on this has come an easier time of it for you. That depression ..she is a motherfucker indeed!! I have endured my own fuck up while you've been away..so ima give it another go. Just like you are with disabling that depression ...just like we all are by just doing the next right thing. So hook up some comfy sweats, yummy snacks..and perhaps some Enter the Dragon on the tube..LOL ,feel better and know that we gottchu dude!!! MUUAH!!

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Falcon,

I haven't been on the board in a while either, but I know you made a big impact on all of us by just being you. I understand where you are at... Hang in there and I'm glad you fel like this board is a place you can reach out to. We are all here for you. You have made a personal connection to most of us and you have helped many of us by judt being here and keeping it real. We are rooting for you... we are all struggling. I know I still am. We will all get over this hill soon!!!

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Wow I cant believe the response I got from all my brothers and sister on this fabulous web site. I really appreciate all your comments and your concerns for me and my good friend depression yes she is still with me stronger then ever what a bitch. Yes I am Still clean form addarell I stop counting the days September 25 2012 you count .I am at the cross roads need your help my medication is not working well on me any more its time to change medication or get off the shit all together and see if I feel the same way with or without my antidepressant medications .I am Basically tired of being tired chronic fatigue and lethargy are my main symptoms that’s the reason I started taking addarell in the first place to increase my energy levels .

Does any one have experience with narcolepsy it can have the same symptoms as ADD At this time I would like to take a sleep study test to roll out narcolepsy it don’t make any common sense why i am so fuckin tired all the time. Thank you all for your support in helping me quit the evil pill we call addarell .

Your friend always THE FALCON

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Falcon,

Sorry to hear you are still battling fatigue and depression. Have you had any blood work done recently? There are some diseases that cause long term tiredness - heppatitis and mono are two that I can think of right now. Also heart disease. Not trying to give you even more reasons to be depressed, but maybe you could run some of these ideas by your primary doctor?

Hang in there - it will get better somehow.

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Hi quit -onec

Yes I get my blood work don every three mounts I have type two diabetes.

All my numbers are normal I feel like I am missing something I believe it may be some short of autoimmune disease or maybe I jest fucked up my body from all the years abuse . So all you young bloods out the listen to this old fucked up falcon everything in moderation is the key to good health learn from my mistakes don’t abuse your body you only have one .

THE FALCON

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Hope you feel better soon Falcon! I'm sorry you're struggling right now. ((((Hugs)))))

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Falcon,

I am going to have a sleep study to see if I am narcoleptic... You know I will keep you updated when I do. I feel the same... tired of being so tired... so tired most of my life. Stay strong and hang in there.... you're never alone friend :)

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