MajorLazer

Hi everyone, My name is Alex and in the past week I've come to the conclusion that I am addicted to adderall. I am 19 years old and i was diagnosed with severe ADD and minor ADHD about 5 years ago. I am currently prescribed to 20mg Amph. Salts and 50mg Vyvanse and am supposed to be taking one of each everyday. I cant even remember the last time i followed that. On average, i take 2 of each and sometimes more on the weekends and have definitely been in the 300mg range before. What made me come to the realization that i have a problem is in the past week ive gone 4 out of 7 days with no sleep. Because of this ive decided to try to quit cold turkey. But theres a problem with this. Why would i want to quit? I love adderall. Before i go on, i'd like to share a little more about myself and adderall. I am currently a full time student studying Criminal Justice. But my true love is music, specifically EDM. I am also an amateur producer with hopes and dreams of going to a two year school for music production after i earn my CJ degree. The highlight of my day is when i can pop an addy, put on my headphones, work on my music, and just completely escape from the world. God just thinking about it just makes me want to say fuck this and just delete this post. Without adderall, getting through work, class, and homework is a living hell and honestly im afraid to quit because of the fact ill have to go through this living hell. But after i came across this site i asked myself "Why do you want to quit?" Here is how i answered this: I cannot function without it, I am underweight because of how little i eat which in turn has set me back in sports, I barely sleep anymore even if im dead tired, I feel like im getting psychological problems, even when i am not on it my heart beats way too hard and way too fast. And probably the main concern personally is because id rather sit in front of my computer on a Friday night instead of go out and hangout with people, my social skills are definitely at an all time low. Now that you know my problem maybe you can help me. I feel too good on adderall to want to quit but i need to stop before it gets out of hand. Im posting my story this morning in hopes somebody will read this and help me to gain the strength to want to quit and hopefully be successful at it. My biggest fear and main question to ask anybody reading this is this: if i do end up successfully quitting, will i be able to ever be as productive without it as i am on it? I really do sincerely appreciate those willing to take their time to read my story. My prayers go out to you and everybody else struggling with this addiction.