Jmd

Congrats! As a newbie I definitely look at your success as inspiration. I cannot wait for the day when this evil drug isn't even a memory!

Troy

Thanks! I know I can do it. I was in pretty deep with pain meds and I got out of there. On occasion when filling a pain script I'll think for a moment, but then easily keep on keeping on. I guess with Adderall I just forget how much of a struggle and how much work the opiates took at first. I want that same power over adderall NOW like I have over opiates. Sometimes we easily forget the difficult battles and on remember the victory. Talking with you today has helped me feel strong already. Thank you!

Always Awesome, how did you tell that voice in the back of your head to shut up? Like my last and longest attempt, I feel if I can get through the first couple days then I have momentum to build on. This latest relapse I'm never able to build momentum. I also hit the gym last time and lately have not had time for the gym. I am desperate to quit b/c I have this terrible feeling that I've been lucky in the past of no one else being affected but now I know my marriage and my son's life will get destroyed too if I don't stop!

I know I can do this. I've done it before. Just for some reason this time seems more difficult than past times. I just want to be me without a chemical dictating who I am!

Where to begin, well 4 years ago I started down a slippery slope abusing pain meds. After a year and a half I came clean to my wife and got help. During this process I started dabbling with Adderall during the withdrawal and tired periods. For the last two years I've been on and off adderall. When on adderall, I use way more than therapeutic doses and I find myself drinking way more than anyone should. In January I quit cold turkey surprisingly easy and was off for 3 of the greatest months that I can remember for a long time. Then, back in April for whatever reason I thought "man, just one adderall won't hurt and will get me that extra energy". I haven't stopped since and it's probably the worst it has been. I keep saying I need to stop but I can't go longer than 2 days. Oh, and did I mention I'm a pharmacist so this poison is around me all the time! It's part of my job!