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Benjamin8585

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  1. that was a fun little story. You're a damn good writer. sadly, however, I don't think anyone on adderall would believe how true this is. Myself included. This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Ive been listening to the music I recorded when I was a full fledged addict... And it's excruciatingly bad. The magnified OCD.... I have several recordings where You can hear me playing the same riff over and over for 10 minutes straight like I'm stuck on a loop. I finally got the passion to start playing again, and I basically had to relearn everything. I'm sure at the time I recorded that garbage I thought i was freaking Mozart.
  2. Hey Your story resonates with me.. I abused adderall heavily for 8 years. Ive only posted once on this site, you should look back at my post. It's been 3 years since I quit, so I'd be happy to talk to you and tell you about what the journeys been like for me. It's hard for me to relate to the people who took adderall in normal dosages... Because When you abuse it, like we did, it's a whole different story. I was upwards of 100 mg a day. But anyways, I'd like to hear more about your story. it would be great to talk to someone who is just now beginning the journey. I don't know if there's a way that you can message me on this site?
  3. Hey That is so awesome that your mind and body are responding so well to the abrupt withdrawal. You are one of the lucky ones. I also abused adderall for almost 7 years to be able to work for hours and hours on my art and schoolwork. I am 21 months into my adderall sobriety. I think its great that you are exercising and eating healthy. Food and exercise have become like a religion to me since I quit. I think The most important thing is SLEEP. It sounds like you are getting good sleep. Get Plenty of it. As much as you can possibly get. I have always been an insomniac. So sleep has never been easy, even without the adderall. Your body and mind are healing themselves when you are in a deep sleep. For people like you and I, we need as much of that deep healing as possible to get back to a "new normal". Thanks for sharing your story. I just shared mine 2 days ago. The people on this site are awesome. We have all been through a similar experience. Good luck to you!
  4. Thanks Greg. That thing looks like something I need in my life asap. Surprised by the affordability too. On the journey towards getting limber /reducing stress anxiety, every little thing can make a big difference. My neck is such a mess lol. 7 years of tweakin on addy 😖. Cassie great tip. I see exactly what you mean. 👌
  5. Cross legged with hands under thighs... ðŸ‘ðŸ‘ðŸ‘. Big fan of this. Forces you to have perfect posture to get the most out of the stretch. realized after like 10 minutes doing this... I'm basically meditating...Maybe neck and shoulder exercises will transition into mindfulness and meditation lol
  6. Hey Cassie thank you for responding I just tried the exercise you reccomended. Pulled shoulder blades back and tried to pinch them together, then pulled them down and held it there. You're right... it does feel weird, but it stretches out the trunk of your neck and into your shoulders quite nicely. I will definitely be doing this exercise many times throughout the day. The neck stretching device that you posted a link for is something I will be looking into. Expensive but well worth every penny I'm sure. I have been to several physical therapy sessions which of course only provided temporary relief. Being able to get that relief without an appointment would be amazing. I recently visited a spinal specialist. He suspects that extreme repetitive movements and lack of sleep are the main factors into my neck and spine issues. The extreme repetition was surely from the countless nights I spent NOT sleeping and instead hunched over my computer or over my guitar. I am also a stomach sleeper which, as you damn well know, is the biggest curse. I can't fall asleep on my back unless I'm super medicated or just outright exhausted. I have an MRI scheduled for July to scan my spine so hooefully this will give the Drs the info they need to start treating the problem at its source. Cannot thank you enough for taking time out of your day to give practical helpful advice to a complete stranger.
  7. hello all, my adderall absuse began in college when my friend gave me a 30xr to cram for my calculus exam. I had never experienced such clarity and focus ever in my life. The test that I had been dreading for months, I aced it. And so I was hooked. I Faked the symptoms of adhd at a psychiatric training clinic and got a prescription for adderall 20mgxr. Over the course of the next 7 years I would spiral completely out of control as the dosage increased. Delusions of grandeur. Striving for perfection in my music, school, personal life. I've known a whole lot of people who use and abuse the drug, but nobody as feverishly as myself. 4 nights without sleep was a weekly occurrence. for 7 years I treated my brain and body like hell. It was like an experiment to see how far I could push the limits. Lsd, marijuana..,and always the adderall. I was trying so hard to elevate my life and to live life to the max, and to accomplish everything under the sun. I didn't realize that I was destroying myself in the process 21 months have gone by since I quit. I eat a vegan diet and excercise daily. This helps. My physical appearance is much healthier. Everyone tells me I look great. Some days I feel like myself again and it's amaZing. Some days I feel complete exuberance for life and I feel hopeful and excited. But of course, it's not easy. My emotional side which used to be vibrant and complex is very dull. I'm afraid to connect deeply with another girl right now. So I occupy my time with other things like sports and chess and work. I'll get there eventually. What worries me the most is my neck. I know it sounds strange. But the most damaging effect that the drug has had on me is from all those sleepless nights and tweaked out days, my neck and shoulders have completely tightened up and the muscles are hard. Hard to the point where I spend hours each day manipulating my head and neck to break up the hardened ligaments and cartilage to releive the pain. And to restore mobility. I have spent countless hours researching the causes and possible cures for this condition, but to no avail. If not for the neck and shoulder issue, I would be sleeping much much more and my recovery would be on a much better track. I would love any helpful advice on how to manage the neck and shoulder issue. it was definetely caused by the adderall abuse.
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