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xefitnop

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  1. I obtained an adderall prescription when I was having difficulties going back to school to start my post secondary education. I was always a daydreamer, I could never follow along in class and always had extreme difficulty following instructions. I was the queen of procrastination and seemed to be incapable of planning or organizing myself. Through sheer force of will I got through my first year of college doing some upgrading, but I kept the number of classes I took to 3 because I was not able to handle more than that, as I suffered from severe test anxiety on top of everything. After a few embarrassing breakdowns in the middle of writing tests I spoke to some counselors who suggested I might have a learning disorder, I doubted it at first, but after doing some testing, it became pretty clear to me that maybe, just maybe I did have some type of attention deficit. When I was first put on the drug it truly was like night and day. Suddenly there was clarity that I just didn't seem to have before. I loved it. I was hooked. Before I knew it I was teaching myself calculus and loving every minute of it. I went from getting good, but inconsistently good grades to getting 110% on math tests. (I barely got through the "stupid kid" high school math classes, teachers felt sorry for me and so they would pass me with a C-). I no longer struggled with this sense of inner restlessness and low brain energy that would sweep over me while I sat in a classroom. After my first year of upgrading my classes, on a whim, I applied to university for biology and was accepted. When I started university, I started taking a birth control pill that pretty much ruined my life. In spite of the adderall, I gained 30lbs in several months, my anxiety was at an all time high, I wasn't dreaming anymore, I was perpetually exhausted, I had migraines, severe depression, nausea, hot flashes, poor memory recall, zero sex drive, muscle weakness, muscle atrophy (I learned later that no one is supposed to be on this pill for more than 3 months at a time and I was on it for 18 months, it also is NOT supposed to be prescribed as a birth control pill alone [it's called Diane-35 DON'T EVER USE IT]). I didn't actually identify the birth control as the problem for a while. My psychiatrist just prescribed me antidepressants so I was on adderall, cipralex, wellbutrin and diane-35 all at the same time. When I decided to come off the birth control pill (since I wasn't getting laid anyways), my mood improved immediately, my energy levels returned and I realized that the pill had been the cause of my severe depression and cognitive problems. So I decided during the winter semester of my second year that I was going to get off all of that bullshit. I quit everything, cold turkey and dropped out reasoning that my health was more important than anything and it needed to be done. This was HARD. For 3 weeks I barely had enough energy to crawl up the stairs to go to the bathroom. I was stuck on the couch without the will to do anything. Going up the stairs felt like climbing mount Everest. I would not recommend quitting cold turkey, especially what I was trying to do. Eventually I ended up just going back to adderall, so that I could spend the summer and the next fall working in a brain tumor lab while my body tried to reestablish equilibrium. I had lost my period at this point, which lasted a year, I developed severe acne that I had never before had in my life, I also started growing facial hair like crazy and the hair on my head was falling out, this was all because of the birth control pill from hell that I was put on, whose active progestin is also interestingly used as chemical castration for sexual offenders, chemotherapy for testicular cancer, and used by male-to-female transgenders to help with the suppression of male sex hormones. After a year I went back to school and I'm happy to say that my body has returned to normal, my periods are in perfect sync, I have zero acne (and I don't even wash my face), and I'm no longer waxing my face and I'm doing it all without the help of any medication. So I finished my third year and am now majoring in biochemistry. After the last semester, which went incredibly well, I decided to try to wean myself off adderall for the summer. This time I tapered down. So there was about a month of feeling tired and shitty, but forcing myself to go out and do things anyways. I was in a very fortunate position as I had a support system in place that understood what I was attempting and so I did not have to work at this time. I'm not sure if I would have been able to do it if I had to be a productive employee. The second time I quit it was 1000x easier because I didn't have all the added complications of other medications interfering with my body. I have come to believe that with each medication we add the number of complications begin multiplying exponentially and unpredictably. This time when I quit, adderall had been the only medication I had been taking for at least a year. I did not gain weight, and in fact lost weight. I think there are several reasons for this. 1. I embarked on a very low carbohydrate diet. We all know that sugars increase the release of serotonin, but carbohydrates (sugars) also act in a similar fashion to highly addictive drugs in the nucleus accumbens, releasing dopamine and activating our reward systems. I reasoned that in a dopamine depleted state, high sugar and carbohydrate foods might be more addictive, as they might temporarily raise dopamine levels, which will subsequently fall and trap us in a cycle of eating sugars as a means of temporarily stimulating dopamine release. (on a side note, I also used low carb dieting to help with my whacked-out hormones it definitely helped and actually cured the acne and brought my period back) 2. I was not severely underweight when I quit adderall, I am a 27 year old female, 5ft7 and when I quit I weighed a healthy 145lbs. 40 days later I am 137lbs. 3. I am no longer constrained to narrow hours of productivity, with adderall I had a 4-5 hour window in which I could get a good work-out in, after the meds wore off, there was no chance that I'd be going to the gym. Now my gym-going hours aren't limited by the effects of the drug and since I get sort of restless I find myself getting exercise or being active more frequently. Up to 3 hours a day, just because I WANT too. 4. I no longer spend endless hours playing video games. I could easily do 4-8 hours of gaming. Now I get really bored of them after 15 minutes, my attention span just isn't long enough to invest in them. 5. I did not abuse or use adderall recreationally. I had to increase my dose after several years being on it, but only as it was needed. The most I have ever taken was probably 50mg in one day and I maybe only did this 3-4 times. My regular dose was 30mg. 20mg in the morning and 10mg in the afternoon. Sometimes I would take 20mg in the afternoon. All in all, this experience of quitting adderall wasn't so bad! It sucks at first but it is totally doable under the right circumstances. I am very much enjoying myself more and am extremely happy to have my independence from this drug. It helped me, I can't deny that, and I really feel for the people who suffer from lasting side effects, if you are, consider the possibility that there might be some other undiagnosed or underlying issues that your doctor can't figure out. It's easy to say that what you are experiencing is all from the adderall, but keep an open mind, it took me a TON of troubleshooting and learning to understand and correct the imbalances that I experienced. I am definitely back to my ADD state, but I realize that is just how I am, and for right now, that's okay. I might go back to it, honestly, for my final year of university, but I am going to try and use it much more sparingly. I love who I am without drugs. This is the first time in 5 years that I have gotten to know myself without stimulants or antidepressants and I can truly say that I am happy. I am NOT depressed, and every single one of my problems actually stemmed from using prescription medications, which I will be extremely hesitant to use in any form in the future, especially now that I have access to all the pertinent scientific literature.
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