Hopscotch

NO FRIED FOOD

I have 2 children. They deserve a naturally attentive mother. What kind of mom would you be without the meds? Mean mom? Cool mom? Strict mom? Granola mom? Would you REALLY sani-wipe every damn item you helicopter mom? No. You are a robot. It's easy to get through this. I've been clean for 2 months, and I've got a long way to go. But kids are resilient. Let me know if you want to know how to do this as a mother. I was a 12 year addict. You can do this. I do it for my boys. I can tell you how to do it.

Pardon me, my post was implying: if you are still using, what would your family uncover in your life?

Let's say you go for a walk and get hit by a car. Or you get into a major car accident. It could happen to all of us. At any moment. We can die at any moment. I always thought if I were to die right now, my family would have to pack up my things. What my family and friends would find would devastate them: empty pill bottles, my calendar with dr appts, prescriptions, full bottles, receipts, my junky purse, phone contacts filled physician numbers. That's not the part of me I want as their last memory of my life. So, what would your family and friends find right now, if you were gone?

Sadly, they all know what's going on. It's all about $$$

GPA 3.5 and I had one more final exam. Just one more. Then I would be walking across the stage to get my 4 year diploma. I had an internship with a MAJOR soda company starting this week. But man, I was tired. I didn't want to study for that last exam. I wanted to be with my roommates that night and enjoy these last few nights as a college sorority hipster. Okay, I will study at the library and meet up with everyone later. I was walking out of the house when a friend approached me and gave me a capsule. She said it would help. But only works when you get sleep. I walked across that stage with the same 3.5 GPA. I failed the drug test for my internship 2 days after I received my diploma. Twelve years later and she's sitting on the couch. She's been alive almost 2 months. She watches her husband make coffee while her baby plays on the floor. The oldest child will be down any minute. That she, well that's me. And I confessed to my addiction almost 2 months ago. I took my last pill almost two months ago. And I'm a different woman. A new life. It's like I woke up. And my twenties are a haze. I was addicted to a medication prescribed to children and adults who have a learning disability. An attention disability. DISABILITY. When I could see the bottom of the orange bottle through my pills, I panicked. How long are you going to continue your cycle? Doctor appointments, picking up scripts, pharmacy trips, paying out of pocket because you can't wait another week when your insurance will cover your refill. Are you going to take these pills when you are sixty years old? Eighty? It has to stop at some point. Nobody can successfully continue a narcotic like this forever. How it's FDA approved and available at a pharmacy within a 2 mile radius of my home keeps me up at night. My old life has been through more than I want to admit. But I will. Over time. I consider myself an expert on the drug. And I'm not done researching this narcotic. And I'm not done researching the lives of the people who dedicate themselves on this website.