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About lightofthetunnel

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  1. To flush or not to flush?

    addiction is completley curable!! i beleive in it. anything could be a crutch. read my story? :]
  2. What do I do now?

    hey hang in there!! i have recently quit adderral, and im hanging on by a thread about to take some. its a bumpy ride, but at least you can enjoy the view when you get there!!
  3. Well hello there! This story is about this 20 year old documenting his quitting process of adderall, hopefully cold turkey. I will document each day in detail how i feel, dosage, and if i slip up after a week. now my introductions are usually more organized and focused, not on adderall!!! yes, after more than half my life on adderall, i'm finally throwing the sweat rag (am i right?) and i can feel emotion rushing back to me. ahem! Day 1: well, this is the first day of no adderall. i am prescribed a whopping 60 mg's a day, took 20 yesterday, now none (may seem like a big drop off, but for me, thats "weening" in a way). ill be honest its really nice in some ways! instead of binging with no sleep, its binging to go eat. instead of clammy hands and a cold heart, its a daring man with a warm start. "I'm tireless and im wireless"-George Carlin. now. we know quitting aderrall isn't sunshine and rainbows so ill end this days entry. (ill make this a little shorter) Day 2: I'm still enjoying the freedom to feel. of course im more clumsy, feel pain, disorganized, sleep all the time, about to gain 15 pounds in a week and have occasional emotional mini-meltdowns, but at least this way i can laugh about any of that happening. i start to notice the cons of adderral after making it one day without any. on adderral i would've noticed the cons of everything else. even happiness. (this remains for the next 2 days as well)(Day 4 is a little bumpy) Day 5: Oh boy! i have a bottle with 58 IR's of 30 mils just taunting me when i wake up, but I'm documenting this, i hate heart twinges, my friends notice im more balanced mood-wise, i love eating & sleeping, and the ability to laugh. Im looking for every reason by now not to take any of those sweet, addy-girls.(they are sweet, they're the orange ones) they look so tantalizing, but i resist. and its going to get a lot worse. Day 6: Dilemma! so im applying for college, christmas shopping, and cleaning before relatives arrive. its all such bs i swear, but this is god testing me in probably the worst time in my life to quit adderral, or is it the best. I guess do your best at your worst, and your worst will get better! (i just made that up) anyway, im a musician who wrote a LOT of music on adderral. you know those all-nighters? yeah, i rocked those. (sorry if im making it sound worse) now i lack all motivation to play guitar or write songs, but i still crave to. weird huh? I even crave the desire of cigarettes on adderall, even though im still smoking them. all these little reasons building up, but this venting is helping a significant amount.