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Firefly

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Posts posted by Firefly

  1. Sorry for the delayed response. What is the difference between how I feel at 7months than at 3 months?

    The constant hunger and cravings for pills are not a daily struggle anymore. Though it still comes up for sure.

    I think I feel confident that I have made it this far and that I never want to have to go through the initial quitting again.

    I'm remembering what spring was like before adderall and being able to enjoy relaxing and just spending time with my family.

    I am beginning to see that my body and mind are slowly healing. I'm so thankful for the site and this community because I can't imagine where I would be without it.

    • Like 4
  2. The best advice I can give you is stay checking this site. I tried on and off to quit unsuccessfully. Then I found this site and I still relapsed once but now I'm at day 86 and I wouldn't be here without this site.

    Adderall is such a different type of drug that you need to be hearing from people going through the same thing.

    When I first quit, I literally checked this forum, read the articles, and was on this site a dozen times a day. Remind yourself why you quit because your brain will try to convince you otherwise.

    • Like 1
  3. Okay well anyway, I think it was helpful because it made me realize that there may be other foods that could satisfy my cravings that might healthier that I was I think I'm craving.

     

    I had to finish some school work yesterday, which was a little harder to get started doing without adderall.  I'll be done with my course in the next month and it's the last course of my program thankfully.

     

    I don't know what I would have done without this site.  The fact that I'm here at Day 82 is astonishing. 

    • Like 1
  4. Day 81. I'm not thinking about the pills as much these last few days. But I know I'm still in recovery.

    Thanks for the advice on exercise. That is what I need. I'm 5'6" and usually been about 135, but I have literally gained 30 lbs above that in the last six months. Some of that was even before quitting adderall but the pace has ramped up since quitting.

    My cravings have slowed down at this point. At the beginning, I was eating all the time.

    Will I get back to normal? I'm still so glad to have quit and feel that this is an effect of using and then quitting bc my metabolism got so wrecked by adderall.

    I've started doing some yoga everyday from YouTube. It's not the hardest ever but sometimes challenging and its getting me to do at least something every day. I'm just not sure if it is enough.

    • Like 1
  5. Stay checking this site. For me, the loss of strength and overall the way it wrecked my metabolism. I'm hoping that in time with my recovery that some of that will return.

    I've had those thoughts too like just 1 pill. Just today. But I know I would slide right back in to using it and lose everything I've worked for in this recovery and ultimately have to start over.

    Now I enjoy life more. I may not get everything done. My house is messier but I can appreciate the little things like a sunset or listening to the rain now without feeling like I should be being productive.

    • Like 2
  6. I'm on day 65! I can't believe it. Day 60 passed me by. The longest I've gone since needing to check this site......

    I know I'll still stay close to this site because the desire and thoughts are still there at times. I have to remind myself that quitting is better in the long run.

    I still don't totally feel myself or at least what I imagine myself to be like one day. It's helpful to know that it is normal to still feel this way.

    Moving on to 90 days!!

    • Like 1
  7. I agree that the adderall will ultimately worsen depression at least initially. I think that is one of the hardest parts about quitting is finally having to learn to work and function through depression.

    I've been reading a book that someone recommended on this site. Its called "Getting things done when you're depressed". It's been very helpful for me in coping with my mind post adderall. Check it out.

  8. Day 44. It's been a few days since I've come to this site and I noticed that I was starting to play the mind games and starting to think things like "it would be better if I was back on it". " I need it" "it helps my brain work". " this would be easier if I took a pill"

    No no no no

    It's not better. I'm 44 days clean and not going back.

    • Like 1
  9. Day 34 confirmed. Seems a little hard these days. I know from reading other posts that this can be a hard time.

    I was thinking today that quitting adderall is one of the hardest, most miserable, but best choice of my life. I'm so glad to be off it. 34 days the amazing thing is that 34 days ago I couldn't imagine what it would feel like. And while it's hard its really good too.

    I enjoy eating like fruits and vegetables too now. When I was on adderall, I never wanted to eat but when I would come down I would not want anything healthy. Just junk food.

    • Like 2
  10. Day 30! On to the 60 day challenge. I can't believe I'm here. I am feeling a little bit of the "now what" feeling. These past 30 days I was just focused on getting through each day without adderall. I have not worried about my weight because I knew that would hurt my ability to stay away from adderall (even though I know that adderall ultimately weakened my muscles and I even started gaining weight before I quit).

    The first two weeks I was hungry and I ate all the time. But I knew that my body needed to restart the metabolism and eating helps that.

    This last week I realized that some of the cravings had gone away and I was now hungry at meal times but not 24/7.

    I know I'll still have to keep focusing on my recovery but I wonder if I should focus on anything else these next 30 days. I guess I might find out on the 60 day challenge forum.

    I did it. I couldn't have done it without all of you and this site.

    • Like 1
  11. Keep reminding yourself that adderall is not what you think you remember it being (at least when you are wanting to take it). It does not make you better. Only gives you an illusion while you're using it.

    I binge used in college but pretty much took it as prescribed the last year and a half before quitting. Even then, I was/am horribly addicted (though 29 days clean). Adderall robbed me of who I was even when I stuck to my dose. There is no safe way to use it in my opinion. At least for me.

    • Like 2
  12. MJ4thDimension,

    You can do it. Keep plugging away at grad school and quitting adderall. I'm in my last 3 credits of grad school right now too and it's s tempting time but we can do it.

    People with addictions make great counselors because they have experiences that they can empathize with people better. Stay strong in your goals and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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