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Firefly

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Posts posted by Firefly

  1. Thanks doge, thats probably true. I used to get so fixated on unimportant things.

    Day 25...check. I marked day 30 on the calendar. I feel like I move through the days a little faster in terms of not spending as much time thinking about adderall.

    I used to check off days in sections sometimes ..like got through half a day etc. I'm not saying that I'm totally beyond that but some days I don't need to do that.

    • Like 1
  2. I second your response, doge, about adderall not really helping lose weight long term. I lost muscle mass so it seemed like I was losing weight but then gained belly weight even while on adderall because I wasn't sleeping and maybe anxiety on the come down.

    I'm not yet to 90 days. Only day 23. I hope to be here in 67 days!

  3. I get very encouraged reading these posts. I'm at day 23 and hoping to feel better one day. I still feel drained and weak sometimes but at the same time I sometimes can tell that I feel more present to the moment than I did on adderall.

    • Like 4
  4. Bee0830

    You can get right back in your recovery. I quit for 10 days awhile back. Relapsed for two weeks then was back at day 1 just like you are.

    I am day 19 now. For me, the first 10 days (the second time around) were really hard but I knew I had done it before. I also knew to be careful when I got to day 10 because the first time around I think I stopped checking this site and lost my confidence and forgot my reasons.

    I am very motivated now not to relapse again because this is my recovery and I've already made progress. Be realistic about recovery and the time it takes. Be gentle with yourself when you feel unproductive. It takes time but will be worth it.

  5. Day 19.....haven't taken any. It's been a few days since I been to this site and I could feel the urges coming. This site and this thread is so great. I'm at day 19 but my body is still feeling very weak. I've been running. Somewhat. I signed up for a run next weekend.

    It's helpful to read that other people felt the physical heaviness at this time in recovery. Then I know and can think of it as part of recovery rather than just feeling lazy.

    • Like 1
  6. Make it as least accessible as you can which it sounds like you have done. Addiction to adderall is tough because it can be easily accessible. Many of us even have drs prescribing it to us. When I got hooked, a month prescription of 60/pills cost $10. Now it went up to $60 before I quit.

    You have the keep your reasons in front of you. Write them down and don't rely on your memory to remind you. Your mind is addicted and will tell you lies.

    You said you love how you feel and think without it. Remind yourself of why you want to quit.

    Mike says in one of the articles on this site that you need to have a vision of what your life will look like without adderall. And by this i mean not just 2 months without adderall but a year and beyond without adderall. This vision needs to be your goal, not just the absence of adderall.

    For me, coming to this site has been hugely meaningful. If I hit a low point where I can see myself wanting some I come here. Even if that means multiple times a day or even multiple times an hour.

    We are here for you and going through it with you. We also believe that for us life is better without adderall.

  7. I think you are doing great because you have written and know all those reasons for not going back to it.  It's easy to forget the negatives or only be remembering the positives (though they were not really positives in reality but simply lies from your brain).  You won't be better on adderall.  The best parts of you will be present without adderall even though it's hard to feel that way.

    • Like 2
  8. Im on day nine. And I just want to say how much I crave to say I'm on a year like you all are saying. I know that it will still be hard and you all being honest about the recovery length will help me get through the lows even when it's been a year. I hope this helps you though to know that once you were on day nine. The most I've ever made is day 10.

    • Like 1
  9. Hey I'm on day 8. Quit for like 10 days a month ago. Want it to stick this time.

    10. Better sleep

    9. I laugh

    8. I enjoy the taste of food

    7. I can exercise without feeling like my heart can't take it

    6. I'm not thirsty all the time

    5. Better teeth/gums

    4. I'm not hot all the time

    3. I feel that I can/will be able to one day enjoy life rather than just feel the high and then it's gone

    2. I can think quicker without adderall

    1. I'm me. The real me. And that's okay. I do not need to be anyone else. It's OK.

    • Like 1
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