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Posts posted by bluemoon

  1. Can't believe it has been 3 years since the last time I used Adderall! Wow. Happy 3 years to Frank and to everyone else who quit around the same time as us.

    I used to complain 24/7 and come on this site multiple times a day just wishing the pain and misery would end. Although I can't say my life is perfect now, at least it doesn't revolve around Adderall anymore. I'm back down to a comfortable weight (it took me a couple years), I sleep well, I'm calm and level headed, and I'm not constantly thinking about pills. My energy levels could still use some improvement, but it is slowly getting better over time. I still experience some anhedonia, but it is also getting better with time.

    Also I want to wish a very happy 3rd birthday to my dog, Nash. I got a puppy when I decided to finally quit for good. Omg it was hard taking care of a puppy in the early days of recovery, but I like to think he keeps me going :)

    I used to think I couldn't do life without Adderall. I thought I couldn't accomplish anything without it. It's funny though, looking back on the last few years, I accomplished more in those years and had my highest income of my life in those three years. Blood, sweat and tears... a huge amount of effort... but I did it without Adderall! 

    To anyone thinking about quitting - DO IT NOW! It is so worth it. There is nothing worse than being a slave to those pills.

    14 people like this

  2. On 7/8/2018 at 7:35 PM, LILTEX41 said:


    Motorcycle test today...just learned how to ride one in the past 48 hours.  OMG.  Excited to get a bike!  :biggrin:

    4 months today too since quitting EVERYTHING. :)

    Omg Lil Tex!! I just passed my motorcycle road test that same weekend too!! What are the odds? Lol. 

    Congrats on 4 months. Hope you are feeling well. xo

  3. 15 hours ago, Frank B said:

    Hate it or love it, the underdog's on top
    And I'm gon' shine homey until my heart stop. Ha gotta get gansta now and again. Im definitely feeling back and motherfuckers in my life who want to count me out judging from the last year or two watch me now I overcame something bigger then you can imagine! 

    Yay Frank! Lol 

  4. Oh good!! This is so good to hear. There are definitely ups and downs in this recovery process. I think we will always have those ups and downs in life. I have a lot of good things happening in my life right now and I am really starting to feel like "myself" again. You would hope we would be starting to feel better at 28 months sober. Geez. Lol.

    3 people like this

  5. Hi Lil Tex, I was wondering how you were doing. I think of you often, was worried when you disappeared for a while. I always thought you were one of the most positive and strongest people on here. You helped me so much in my early days of sobriety. Glad to see you back and sober. I'm at 28 months. How crazy! 

    4 people like this

  6. I used to do the same thing as you. I would quit for a couple months and then end up going back to the doctor and getting more, every time. The ONE thing that made my quit finally successful was to tell my doctor I was abusing Adderall and to never prescribe it to me again. Then, there was no going back. You have to make up your mind and you have to just DO IT. Your doctor legally can't tell your parents, it is strictly confidential information and he is not allowed to tell anyone. You can let him know that this a concern of yours, and I'm sure he will assure you that it is strictly confidential. I always made excuses as to why I was afraid to cut off my doctor too. But honestly, it felt SO good when I finally did it. You got this! ;)

    2 people like this

  7. I'm so sorry :(  Break ups are the worst. And it's even harder when you're already feeling like shit. I know how you feel, unfortunately. Be sure to be strong and DON'T give into your temptations! It would only be a temporary fix, and then you would end up feeling even more pain. Once again, I'm so sorry and I know how much it hurts. 

    4 people like this

  8. 18 hours ago, Kimber said:

    Yup. I told my new functional medicine doctor that has taken over my rx that my plan was to get off of it...I just wasn't sure when or how it was going to play out for me.

    The day before it was to be filled, of course, I was already out and...low and behold all day no "thyroid-y, adrenal" feelings.  Adderall was physically making me feel really bad and wrecking havoc on my hormones.  And not that there may not be flare up in the future, but cause and effect was definitely there and all fingers pointed to adderall, I just wasn't ready to see it.

    I'm pretty hard headed and determined when I want to be.  I'm not mad at any one other than myself  for not really seeing it sooner and mad enough that I don't want this shit to own another day of my life.  

    Yup we'll see in a month, 2 months, 6 months, a year...but today I'm 100% done.  Husband, family and friends know, so got some accountability with them too.  


    If you're serious about quitting you have to cut your doctor off. You can't have that option to refill your prescription in 30 days. 

    1 person likes this

  9. Sounds like you want to quit and you're ready. The only way it will stick is if you get serious and cut off your supply. Tell your doctor you're abusing it and no longer ever want it prescribed to you, and get rid of your stash so that you don't have that option to take a pill when you "think" you need one. It isn't easy and there are going to be days where it really sucks!! But it is so worth it. 

  10. Wow. 3 weeks is pretty early to be so boastful and bragging that you have this beat. Recovery is a long road of ups and downs and to portray it as anything other than that is offensive to those who have worked so hard to stay clean for months or years. And why isn't that bottle of pills down the toilet or in the trash if you're so confident you have this beat?? Anyway, I do wish you the best, but you may want to change the tone of your posts as they come across as pretty obnoxious. Just my opinion.

    3 people like this

  11. 9 hours ago, flow3 said:

    Congrats! I remember you from over a year ago when I would check in here daily. Haven't stopped in here in a long time until today. I'm somewhere around the 19 month mark now and completely back to "normal". Keep up the great work!

    Glad to hear it, flow... I would say I'm just about there... Not totally, but getting there.

    1 person likes this

  12. That sucks Frank. I know you have felt this way for a long time. She has to go eventually, but when will be the right time? I don't know. Sounds like sooner would be better than later but I know that is a hard situation when you have a child together. Wish I could give you better advice. Hang in there.

    1 person likes this

  13. Congrats on your accomplishment!! That's huge!! :)

    I like your description of the first and second year. "Recovery" for the first year is putting it nicely. Haha. "Adaptation" for the second year is the perfect word!! I totally agree. I'm starting to feel like myself again and it feels strange because I almost forgot what it felt like to be me. But I am also so glad I quit. I don't regret it for a second. 

    1 person likes this

  14. Girl!! I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were doing. I know exactly how you feel. I can even relate to the being stuck living in a place I don't wanna live (I'm in the middle of nowhere, near Alaska, wtf) and being stuck in a relationship that you don't wanna be in, but being too depressed to do anything about it because you're living in fear of what's happens next. The first year, all I wanted to do was sleep my life away... I was in complete misery. I had gained about 40 lbs that just WOULD NOT BUDGE. Honestly though, you really do have to expect the first year to suck balls. I doubt there's much you can do to soften the blow of that miserable first year. I would say I started beginning to have some better days around the 13 month mark. Not every day was good, but once in a while I would get a good one, so that kept me going a bit. Now (at 19 months) I have lost 25 of those 40 lbs and still going strong. I actually have some natural energy again (something I honestly was worried I would never get back!), I actually feel like doing stuff and I don't fall asleep at 8pm anymore. The depression & anxiety still linger a little bit but I have always struggled with that, even before Adderall. Anyway, my point is, hang in there and it does get better. It just takes time unfortunately. Sending big hugs your way ..... seriously hang in there, you are doing AMAZING and I'm so proud of you for how far you've come!! 

    7 people like this

  15. 9 hours ago, Nicole88 said:

    Yesterday was 11 months adderall free for me so just wanting to check in. I've been feeling pretty good these last few weeks. Happy that time also seems to go much faster than it did in the beginning. I did end up seeing my ex, and I finally got to tell him the truth about what was really going on when we were together. I definitely think that it has brought me a bit of closure and more acceptance for the situation. I also got together with some old friends and opened up to them about everything. Gosh it is so nice to have the unconditional support of good friends, don't know why I was so withdrawn for so long. Took a week vacation to myrtle beach which was REJUVENATING. I came back with a renewed motivation for continuing to work my way through the mess I've created. The nice weather is also helping and looking forward to some fun summer festivities. Hope all is well with everyone!! Keep on with good fight :) 

    Yay!! Glad to hear you're doing well!! Your post made me wanna give you a big hug and hang out lol. The nice weather definitely helps. I was sober last summer but still too early along in my recovery to enjoy the summer. This summer has definitely been way better and I am actually feeling happy and enjoying it. Wait, what did I just say?? I feel happy?? I didn't think that would ever happen. :) 

    3 people like this

  16. YEAH! What the hell Frank, I noticed like in the past month that I actually have energy too! It is so weird, I haven't felt energy in a LONG time. About damn time. I think that was our biggest complaint all along, was not having any energy. I also noticed I have been staying up a few hours later than normal and not complaining about how tired I am. WOOOO :) We are at almost 19 months now. I still wish we had our tickers too!! Bring them back lol

    4 people like this