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Everything posted by bluemoon

  1. 3 years!!!

    Can't believe it has been 3 years since the last time I used Adderall! Wow. Happy 3 years to Frank and to everyone else who quit around the same time as us. I used to complain 24/7 and come on this site multiple times a day just wishing the pain and misery would end. Although I can't say my life is perfect now, at least it doesn't revolve around Adderall anymore. I'm back down to a comfortable weight (it took me a couple years), I sleep well, I'm calm and level headed, and I'm not constantly thinking about pills. My energy levels could still use some improvement, but it is slowly getting better over time. I still experience some anhedonia, but it is also getting better with time. Also I want to wish a very happy 3rd birthday to my dog, Nash. I got a puppy when I decided to finally quit for good. Omg it was hard taking care of a puppy in the early days of recovery, but I like to think he keeps me going I used to think I couldn't do life without Adderall. I thought I couldn't accomplish anything without it. It's funny though, looking back on the last few years, I accomplished more in those years and had my highest income of my life in those three years. Blood, sweat and tears... a huge amount of effort... but I did it without Adderall! To anyone thinking about quitting - DO IT NOW! It is so worth it. There is nothing worse than being a slave to those pills.
  2. One Word Status Update

    Omg Lil Tex!! I just passed my motorcycle road test that same weekend too!! What are the odds? Lol. Congrats on 4 months. Hope you are feeling well. xo
  3. Progress at last

    Yay Frank! Lol
  4. Progress at last

    Oh good!! This is so good to hear. There are definitely ups and downs in this recovery process. I think we will always have those ups and downs in life. I have a lot of good things happening in my life right now and I am really starting to feel like "myself" again. You would hope we would be starting to feel better at 28 months sober. Geez. Lol.
  5. Too long!

    quit-once, it surprises me that you would associate with someone who smokes meth, let alone let them smoke it in your bathroom! I would totally not be ok with that. Lol
  6. Day 6

    Hi Lil Tex, I was wondering how you were doing. I think of you often, was worried when you disappeared for a while. I always thought you were one of the most positive and strongest people on here. You helped me so much in my early days of sobriety. Glad to see you back and sober. I'm at 28 months. How crazy!
  7. My Story

    I used to do the same thing as you. I would quit for a couple months and then end up going back to the doctor and getting more, every time. The ONE thing that made my quit finally successful was to tell my doctor I was abusing Adderall and to never prescribe it to me again. Then, there was no going back. You have to make up your mind and you have to just DO IT. Your doctor legally can't tell your parents, it is strictly confidential information and he is not allowed to tell anyone. You can let him know that this a concern of yours, and I'm sure he will assure you that it is strictly confidential. I always made excuses as to why I was afraid to cut off my doctor too. But honestly, it felt SO good when I finally did it. You got this!
  8. Almost 4mo off and miserable

    4 months is still VERY early in recovery. Everything you're feeling/experiencing is totally normal. The entire first year is super rough no matter which way you look at it.
  9. Great things about not taking adderall

    Naps Not constantly thinking about Adderall, or how I will get my next prescription Being able to look people in the eye
  10. Trip to Beaumont Texas

    Wow Frank, good for you!! That is so awesome. I am so proud of you. What a wonderful and selfless thing for you to do.
  11. Just Got Dumped

    I'm so sorry Break ups are the worst. And it's even harder when you're already feeling like shit. I know how you feel, unfortunately. Be sure to be strong and DON'T give into your temptations! It would only be a temporary fix, and then you would end up feeling even more pain. Once again, I'm so sorry and I know how much it hurts.
  12. Adderall caused thyroid/adrenal issues?

    If you're serious about quitting you have to cut your doctor off. You can't have that option to refill your prescription in 30 days.
  13. 2 years quit but less than a month sober

    Congrats on 2 years. Proud of you!!!!!!
  14. Tried Many Times to Quit

    Sounds like you want to quit and you're ready. The only way it will stick is if you get serious and cut off your supply. Tell your doctor you're abusing it and no longer ever want it prescribed to you, and get rid of your stash so that you don't have that option to take a pill when you "think" you need one. It isn't easy and there are going to be days where it really sucks!! But it is so worth it.
  15. Where is everyone from?

    I live in Alberta but Ontario is home. Jen I'm going on vacation to San Diego in November!
  16. Snorting ~150mg Adderall every day that I can

    Wow. 3 weeks is pretty early to be so boastful and bragging that you have this beat. Recovery is a long road of ups and downs and to portray it as anything other than that is offensive to those who have worked so hard to stay clean for months or years. And why isn't that bottle of pills down the toilet or in the trash if you're so confident you have this beat?? Anyway, I do wish you the best, but you may want to change the tone of your posts as they come across as pretty obnoxious. Just my opinion.
  17. 14 Months!

    Glad to hear it, flow... I would say I'm just about there... Not totally, but getting there.
  18. Do you drink off Adderall?

    That sucks Frank. I know you have felt this way for a long time. She has to go eventually, but when will be the right time? I don't know. Sounds like sooner would be better than later but I know that is a hard situation when you have a child together. Wish I could give you better advice. Hang in there.
  19. An Update And The Word I Fear The Most

    Congrats on your accomplishment!! That's huge!! I like your description of the first and second year. "Recovery" for the first year is putting it nicely. Haha. "Adaptation" for the second year is the perfect word!! I totally agree. I'm starting to feel like myself again and it feels strange because I almost forgot what it felt like to be me. But I am also so glad I quit. I don't regret it for a second.
  20. Girl!! I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were doing. I know exactly how you feel. I can even relate to the being stuck living in a place I don't wanna live (I'm in the middle of nowhere, near Alaska, wtf) and being stuck in a relationship that you don't wanna be in, but being too depressed to do anything about it because you're living in fear of what's happens next. The first year, all I wanted to do was sleep my life away... I was in complete misery. I had gained about 40 lbs that just WOULD NOT BUDGE. Honestly though, you really do have to expect the first year to suck balls. I doubt there's much you can do to soften the blow of that miserable first year. I would say I started beginning to have some better days around the 13 month mark. Not every day was good, but once in a while I would get a good one, so that kept me going a bit. Now (at 19 months) I have lost 25 of those 40 lbs and still going strong. I actually have some natural energy again (something I honestly was worried I would never get back!), I actually feel like doing stuff and I don't fall asleep at 8pm anymore. The depression & anxiety still linger a little bit but I have always struggled with that, even before Adderall. Anyway, my point is, hang in there and it does get better. It just takes time unfortunately. Sending big hugs your way ..... seriously hang in there, you are doing AMAZING and I'm so proud of you for how far you've come!!
  21. Just Flushed Pills!!!! QUITTING

    GOOD JOB!!! I am so proud of you!! Sounds like you had your "aha" moment and you finally get it - and you're ready to quit!! YOU CAN DO THIS!! Message me anytime.
  22. Depression sets back in

    Yay!! Glad to hear you're doing well!! Your post made me wanna give you a big hug and hang out lol. The nice weather definitely helps. I was sober last summer but still too early along in my recovery to enjoy the summer. This summer has definitely been way better and I am actually feeling happy and enjoying it. Wait, what did I just say?? I feel happy?? I didn't think that would ever happen.
  23. 300mg a day down to 0mg

    Good job!! How long have you been clean??
  24. Not sleeping not tired

    YEAH! What the hell Frank, I noticed like in the past month that I actually have energy too! It is so weird, I haven't felt energy in a LONG time. About damn time. I think that was our biggest complaint all along, was not having any energy. I also noticed I have been staying up a few hours later than normal and not complaining about how tired I am. WOOOO We are at almost 19 months now. I still wish we had our tickers too!! Bring them back lol