My life has turned into shit.
I've been prescribed adderall since I was 18, i have been binge using it for 10 years now. I never even needed it for add or anything really, definitely never took it as prescribed. I just abuse it. I pop all 90 within a week and a half, rarely sleeping and then i crash for 3 or 4 days, am zombie for a week until I buy more from hookups and count days until next prescription.
I am an alcoholic drinking at very least a pint of vodka or 12 beers a day. I work from home, my business is going to shit. I crashed my car and got second dui. I just finished probation for that still don't have license or car or sobriety
My girlfriend of 4 years broke up just broke up with me and kicked me out; i had to move back in with parents. She said my problems are not her problems and she doesnt want me in life anymore. My girlfriend before her died of overdose. I really loved them both. Now I just sit here and sulk alone and not nearly fucked up enough.
I have no friends left, not that i mind because i hate everyone and everything. I dont know how to have good time and am always miserable. I take handfuls of addies and am very productive until i get all sketchy and twitchy and depressed.
I see a counselor a few times a month. I guess it keeps me from killing self.
I am so bored and broke and pathetic.
I destroy everything good around me and don't appreciate any of what i have when i have it. "I am like King Midas in Reverse - everything i touch turns to shit"
I am overprivileged piece of greedy shit
i think i am too stuck in ways to change #fuckmylife