jloyd800

Went to see my doc and she added a mood stabilizer to my drug regimen. I am taking a 1/2 of Clonazepam every once in a while when I feel the anxiety coming. My heart beats out of my chest and I get short of breath. Ya know my first doc put me on the Adderall for Anxiety. It worked for a long time! I could battle anything with my Adderall. But I'd die before I ever go back on Adderall. I'm not happy to be on any meds but the brain chemistry has been this way for almost 30 years and it, like any other mental disorder isn't going away. I am just grateful today to be off the Adderall and in getting my life back even if it does mean another pill that will stabalize my moods and keep me alive! Take care! Janie

I am already on meds for depression and anxiety. I did get some tyrosine and taking my B6. I've been on meds for depression and anxiety for many years. So there are some nutritional supplements that I can't take. I'm taking L-Theanine for stress management. But you answered my question about the anxiety being due to the adderall withdrawal. I have a lot of stress going on in my life right now and don't really know what to do with myself. I've started exercising and hopefully that will help too. I have just weaned off of a lot of meds in the past year. I had a psychiatrist who treated every symptom with a pill. That's how I ended up on Adderall. She was a great doc and literally saved my life but she put me in a very bad position having to come off of so much. I was taking something to make me sleep and something to wake me up. I was taking 9 different meds at night and 3 in the morining, then 2 more throughout the day. It was draining trying to keep up with it all. In saying that I think I may have come off of things too quickly. I'm getting emotions coming to the surface that I don't know how to handle. It's coming out as anger most of the time. My poor family doesn't know what to do with me. I don't know what to do with me. I am miserable. Tired of trying to keep a happy face on all the time. I'm usually pretty happy go lucky, but since coming off of the Adderall it's been a rollercoaster. I don't want to go back to the Adderal and I won't. I flushed it! My doc won't give me any anyway. This all will pass.

I'm getting ready to start. I know that exercise is the best thing to do for anxiety. I have bad knees so I'm drawn more to doing an exercise bike.

Hi all!! I've been off my Adderall for 6 1/2 weeks now and the anxiety is crazy! I have a lot going on at home and at work. I've had to take a few days off of work because I've been so distracted with things at home that it was beginning to affect my work. The anxiety is so bad that sometimes I am incapacitated. I've tried deep breathing and several exercises but nothing helps. Could this be a part of the left over Adderall in my system still? My doc gave me an extra Clonazepam to take during the day and I've taken if a few times mostly in the afternoon but I really don't want to get dependent on it. I already take 2 mg at night before bed. I'm already dependent on that dose. I don't want to get dependent on any more. Any ideas?? Thanks, Janie

Hi Today and all!! Hope things are going well today for you! Today has been a bad day for me. I had to work from home due to snow. I don't do well if I don't get out of the house. I have been depressed and anxious all day. I go back to the doctor tomorrow. This anxiety is overwhelming sometimes. I can deal with the depression but the anxiety is too much! This morning I opened up the medicine cabinet and while looking for something for my headache, I found a bottle of Adderall that was a lower dose than I had been taking but I almost fell back into the "I am really tired and could use something to pick me up!" I stood and stared at the bottle as if it were paralyzed! I got my self back to reality and immediately took the bottle and flushed it!! I never thought I could be drawn back in but it happened out of the blue!!!! I could not believe it but I'm realized I am human and an addict! That hurts to admit but it's the truth! That is the first time I've ever really faced the reality of it all.

Hi Today and Ann, I'll be glad to join you for a 30 day challenge. I know your struggles and will be so glad to share my experience with you and listen to yours. I am 12 days clean now and it's not been easy. One of the hardest things I've ever been through but each day has gotten better. You just have to make the decision to not go back. I think that flushing them was the best thing you could have done. That is what I had to do. Just come here daily and post. We'll be here! Janie

I'm on day 14 and things are actually better than they were before Adderall. My job requires a lot of focus and attention because I work on Excel spreadsheets all day. I drink quite a bit of coffee but it seems to be working. It just takes a while. Nothing will ever be like it was when you were on the Adderall. It'll just be different.

I was already on Cymbalta and Geodon. My doc tweaked my meds a bit and it has made a difference. Of course, I still have some ups and downs. I'm like you guys, I don't want to add anymore meds. if I can keep from it. I'm glad that you're feeling better smhjen. It's all about choices and the fact that you have made the choice to come off of the Adderall is the best choice you could ever make! The depression should get better as time goes.At least your doc has given you the choice of an antidepressant if you decide you want it. I am bipolar so I couldn't take a chance on not making some med changes. It wouldn't have been pretty! Take care! Janie

Smhjen, I totally support you in your quest to quit- no matter how you decide to do it. My meds basically turned on me! My doc says that my body chemistry had changed apparently and the Adderall's side effects like the anxiety, jitteriness, irritability came out full on!! I couldn't figure out what was happening for about 3 months. It was bad not only for me but my family. No one was safe at my house! I loved my Adderall for about 4 years. It worked great and no side effects, well at least none that were so bad that I couldn't take it and enjoy my life. So getting to the point, I had to come off of it. Cold turkey was my only out. Even at 1/4 of a 30 mg tab, I couldn't stand myself. It's been a little over a week and I am still having some residual effects, mostly some depression with anxiety. But it sure as hell beats what was happening with the med in the last few months. Keep us posted on how it's going. Stay with us and hang in there! Janie

Without Adderall I too can laugh again. At only 8 days sober, I can really LAUGH!!! For the first time in years!!!

Smhjen, Please forgive me for stepping in on your post with my issues. Yesterday was one of those brain-fog days and I wasn't thinking. I hope that you are feeling better today. Quitting cold turkey was the best thing for me. I tried weaning but when I got down to 5 mg, I went ahead and quit. It just didn't seem worth the trouble at that point. Today is day 7 since my last pill. I am bipolar too so it has been a rough ride but I'm proud of getting to this point without hurting myself or anyone else. Hang in there. I have experienced every emotion known to man this week. But the depression has been most prominent. Luckily my psychiatrist tweaked my antidepressants a bit and it has helped but the bottom line is that we just have to get through the day. Our brain is trying to readjust itself to being without the med. Sometimes I don't feel a lot of anxiety but I just feel uneasy if I'm not doing something productive. So I try to stay busy. Plus being on this website helps a lot. Everyone here on this site has been where we are and it is so helpful to know that we are among kindred spirits! Take care! Janie

I quit cold turkey and it has been hell. Today I tried to go shopping to pick up a few things at Kohls and it sent me into an anxiety attack. When I got to my car I just cried. Ever since I came home have been so depressed, couldn't even clean up my house. My daughter and son-in-law and family are moving in with us and I couldn't even help them once I came home. It's like I was paralyzed. Can't do anything but sit and feel sorry for myself. That pisses me off worse than anything. This is the part when I turn into a sailor and the air turns blue around me. It's embarrassing but it is what it is. Today is day 6 clean. That is one thing I have to be happy about. Did anyone feel nauseated and have problems eating? I can't seem to finish a meal It's not that I'm afraid I will dry up and blow away because believe me, there's enough to sustain me for a good while. Just curious. OK, this is done! Thanks for listening! Janie

I'm 5 days clean and it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm on here daily because I'm afraid of returning to my old life of living by the clock, taking a pill every 3-4 hours just to get through the day until bedtime. Then I'd take something to go to sleep and my Adderall to get up and going the next morning. I miss the rush and the feeling of contentment I had on it. But the last 3 months have been hell on it. Something happened with my body chemistry and I couldn't take as much as I needed to survive the day. I was a nervous wreck. But I took it anyway because at least I could feel good about things for a couple of hours before the anxiety set in. Today,. hang in there. Keep coming back here. I know what you are going through and I know what would happen if I started up again. At this moment, it just wouldn't be worth it. I can only only live one minute at a time right now. I stay busy when I'm not sleeping or on this site. I drag into work and do the bare minimum to get through the day. Read some of the articles on this site and believe that you can do it, however that may be, cold turkey or weaning. I tried weaning and it just didn't work for me. I quit cold turkey. Give yourself a break and be good to yourself! Janie

Evie, I am only 4 days clean and coming off of it is one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. I don't know if I have anything to help you other than to do exactly what bluemoon said and flush that stuff and don't look back. I've still got a bottle of Adderall and Ritalin. Think I will do just what blue moon said myself. I hope you can come off again. I didn't realize how difficult it would be until the very first day I went without it and it was a true nightmare. The days are getting a little better but I know I have a long way to go. We all have to find that strength within ourselves to get past the pill and what we thought it did for us. I had no idea how much I was dependent on it until my first day at work. It was very hard. I need to find my self worth again too! Hang in there! Janie

Thanks so much Always! I've gotten off of other meds before but you are so right. Adderall is the most difficult thing I've ever done. I had no idea that it would be so difficult but I believe that I'll be so happy to get to the other side when the emotions aren't so up and down. My energy level stinks! Last night I went to bed before 7pm but I get up at 4am to be at work by 6am. This morning I really had a difficult time getting up and getting going. I have found something though. If I get up and do things instead of sitting on the couch, I feel much better. The weekend will be a tough but I'll try my best to stay busy and stay away from Walmart!! I'm really impressed that you guys have been sober for so long. I seems so long away but I'm thrilled with 4 days right now. Every hour is an accomplishment right now! I'll see you guys later! Janie