Hey guys,
So I have been lurking around here on the forums for about two years now. Long story short, I was prescribed stimulant medication for ADHD starting at about the age of 8. Ritalin I think. Then Concerta till I turned 15. Then Adderall XR 40 mg daily. When I turned 20 I was prescribed an additional 20mg IR to take in the afternoons, so now I am up to 60 mg daily and I am 24 now. Almost 25. My addiction is completely out of control and I don't know who to turn to.
I tried getting off of this stuff once earlier this year, but after 120 days I could no longer bear waking up day in and day out and wanting nothing but food bed and TV. I had no interest in seeing friends, advancing my career or finding a girlfriend and I wanted the old me back. Or at least what was left of him. So I told myself I would start taking it again, but only as prescribed, never abusing it. Fast forward 3.5 months later to today and I am probably worse than before. No, certainly worse off. Binges last longer, doses are higher, pills run out earlier.
When I was off them before, I just remember not caring at work, never wanting to play my guitar (something I once loved) and having no interest in socializing. Feeling depressed and constantly uncomfortable in my own skin even around my family who I know loves me. Its almost harder to try at this again now that I know the way it feels to be off of them. I am, what would be classically referred to as, hopelessly addicted at this point. Damned if I do damned if I don't.
So my question is, to those who have some legit time off of this stuff, does it get better?