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ampm12345

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  1. Despite all negative physical and emotional side effects from the drug, there is one more area that I'd like to put out there. It's when too many friends and acquaintances know you take Adderall, and constantly hit you up when they have to work a double, need to study, doing an overnight, trying to lose weight, etc etc…whatever, you name it I’ve heard it. And I am not a drug dealer, that is not what this is about. This is about feeling discouraged from quitting because other people don’t want you to, for their own selfish reasons. Getting weekly texts from people asking “any extra pills you can spare?†Having to constantly remind people that they are not for sale, and that you cannot function without them. But they still persist, like you’re a liar…random paranoia, I don’t want to get traced by the gov or something and sent to prison, so for the sake of this discussion I do NOT sell drugs. I am however constantly asked to "spare" what I can for many reasons. The only possible analogy I can use to describe this Adderall nuisance, is the Richie Rich Effect. Who are my real friends? Do they only hang out with me for the possibility of scoring a pill? Do they even really care about my well-being? You get my point...what I am trying to get at though, is this has made the idea of quitting even harder. It’s sick that my mind even considers the notion, would people be disappointed if I stopped or happy for me? Has anyone else felt like this? On the flip side, the whole idea of being pestered for my medicine has spawned the idea of quitting all together, so I guess that is the silver lining. I find myself resenting my friends who take the drug recreationally and don’t need it to function like I do. That my female friends can take Adderall for a few weeks and lose ten pounds, meanwhile I can sleep and eat on the medicine it does not have that effect on me. I know that is my ego talking, but as a girl who has struggled with the yo -yo weight gain and loss from medication and depression, it definitely makes Adderall a sore subject. I wish I didn’t need it. I want to stop all together but the concept seems far-fetched. I like reading everyone’s success stories. I keep weaning myself down to lower doses, but the more I do the more useless I feel. I think I’m straying off topic now, see this is what it's like when I don’t take Adderall...
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