Rockbottom

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About Rockbottom

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    Philadelphia

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  1. Rhodiola rosea

    Do you guys recommend it? Anyone tried it before?
  2. The #1 worst thing about Adderall

    1) Losing your soul, emotionless 2) health, everything you named above and some 3) change of personality, identity crises who am I? 4) lack of drive or passion for things 5) anxiety, depression sorry I had to do a top 5.. there's just too many to only name one
  3. Work ethic

    We all know that adderall gives you a false work ethic. So my question is how do you regain that work ethic you once had before taking this poison while going through recovery? Like that's the one major thing I struggle with. Like I feel like I didn't get to develop a work ethic at a such an important stage of my life (college student/ages 19-24) and that really frustrates me like none other. I eat healthy go to the gym every other day but this is so mental, speaking on my behalf that I've taken this drug for 5 years for almost everything that required a work ethic i.e. Studying or working long hours. Will we ever get that back? Also do people ever wonder what we all look like that are using this forum? I'm really curious as to who we all are on the outside, maybe it's just me lol Like ie frank b who's like a legend in this forum lol
  4. My life on adderall

    Honestly I thought about doing rehab ever since I stopped taking the meds for good but from my perspective I don't think this kind of an addiction is something that can be solved through rehab.. its all mental. I used to take fish oil which helped a lot with my anxiety and panic attacks but after a while that stopped working. In all honesty, I feel like the only way of this is to be completely sober from everything including coffee and alcohol and let time do the healing.. It's been almost a year since I've taken my last adderall and I still don't feel anywhere near 100%. Has there been good days here and there? yes. Most of the time I just feeling emotionless, like a worthless piece of shit lol. It's sad but its reality. I hate myself everyday for every trying this drug. I ask myself what if I never took? It was not like I ever needed it. Is this what they call fate? I can't stop questioning myself over this. Would I have ever graduated college without this drug? Would I have gambled? Would I still be the loser that I am now? so many questions I can go on and on.. from one stupid pill! I look at all my friends and how they enjoy life and I feel like I'm missing out.. I guess I'm paying my debt. Lyoung614, I feel bad for your situation because of how young you were when you first took an addie. Like you can't go back remind yourself who you were before you took this drug. I think that's very important while going through withdrawal because it gives you that small hope of knowing you really were before this evil drug.
  5. My life on adderall

    Hey guys so here is my story. I first started taking adderall my freshman year of college and I remember the feeling I from it when I actually took. My roommate at the time suggested me to try this on pill that would help me get through my morning classes that I was taking at the time. I remember that rush/euphoria that went through my body as soon as it hit me and texting my roommate that very moment how much this drug really made me feel. As a kid growing up, I've always been into sports all through out high school with soccer being one of my talents. I wasn't that most popular kid but I was very outgoing had a lot of friends. I was offered to play soccer at a very college of high school and I felt like my life was on the right path, until adderall happened. The feeling that adderall gave me was life none other as we all know. Whenever I had classes I would take it thinking this drug wasn't anything bad since all these doctors prescribe it. After 3 years living on campus, I decided to move back home and commute to school instead. I was always prescribed the 30mg, one for each day. When I moved back home, I started taking more than I should because one a day wasn't cutting it anymore and I just took more and more so I can finish school. I abused it , I started isolating myself from my friends, started smoking cigarettes because I loved the combination of adderall and cigs. I started going out drinking more while taking more adderall because it made me more social and alive. I became someone that wasn't really me, all because of this evil drug called adderall. It took away my confidence, my friends, my personality, my future, bad health, and most importantly my soul. I promised myself that once I graduate college that I will flush these pills and start a new chapter in my life. Again there are a lot more things in between that I can write about but this is kind of the general events that occurred. I stopped taking adderall on May of 2015 all the way up to today. It has been by far the hardest thing that I had to go through. I've been depressed more than ever, anxiety has been a constant, lack of confidence in myself is still there, I have a hard time socializing with anyone even my close friends from my childhood. I don't know who I am anymore. What have I done to myself? I feel lost.. this is not who I am. I think about adderall everyday for the past year and not because I miss or will ever take it again but simply for what kind of damage it has done to me. I'm so thankful for this site and all your stories. As messed as it might sound but deep inside, it makes me feel somewhat happy that I'm not the only one going through this hell. Thank you all!