HairsprayQueen

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About HairsprayQueen

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  1. Finally Ready To Quit, But Terrified

    We have quite a bit in common! I'm 32, single, and NEED to quit. My useage started getting out of control in grad school and it's still out of control now that I'm working. Be careful with Wellbutrin. I tried it and it made things worse for me. If you want a friend to check in with, feel free to message me and I'll give you my contact info ❤️
  2. Losing Touch with Reality....Again

    That's a really good point. I imagine I could even fake some sort of event to give me an excuse for slacking. I wish we weren't in this situation, but it's really helpful to know I'm not alone. It's encouraging to know that I'm not the only one who takes stupid amounts and cant, under any circumstances, completely fall apart. Maybe if we keep in contact, even if just to complain, we'll have better luck.
  3. Losing Touch with Reality....Again

    This is me, almost identically. I finished a master's program recently and I'm stuck in the same cycle. I'm just now realized how out of control it is. I can't just quit, my career doesn't allow for that kind of crash. As I get down to the final 3.5 pills I come back to this site...so predictable. I'm afraid.
  4. Work = My new unfavorite thing

    Yes! I have those exact same thoughts. Anytime a task requires much thought and/or effort I crave it and doubt that I'll ever be able to do it. I see people who are very productive and efficient and I'm convinced they must be on it...it's like I've completely lost faith in human willpower.
  5. I think I misplaced my spine

    Yes!!! I feel the same way. Every single thing I do is a task to get through and when I'm doing one task, I'm thinking bout other things I could/should be doing instead. I'm finally getting serious about quitting...I hope.
  6. Snorting ~150mg Adderall every day that I can

    You are not alone. I definitely have similar problems, especially the lack of self-respect.
  7. From abuse, to therapeutic use, to quitting?

    Long story short, I'm in a situation similar to your's. I'm just now reaching the point where I'm can acknowledge the effects of Adderall on my personality and identify that bad feeling that surrounds quitting as fear. I started kind of setting up my environment for when I'm going to HAVE to break out my chameleon skills and blend in with daily life enough to pass for 'normal.' I would love to have a support type group. As much as I avoid human interaction now, knowing that I'm not the only person to feel this way keeps me hopeful.