Nicole88

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About Nicole88

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  1. 10 Months Adderall Free

    This pretty much sums it up for me as well
  2. 10 Months Adderall Free

    This is awesome!!! Congrats! 10 months was def my turning point and it has consistently improved since then!
  3. I've had two coworkers separately tell me over the past week that they have noticed a change in me. They mentioned that I seemed happier and have had a more positive attitude. I wish I could tell them the truth but don't feel like I know or trust them enough. Its so nice, though, to have the reaffirmation of how adderall literally destroyed my ability to connect with others, but that slowly but surely all those pieces of my personality are coming back. Even though I finally feel like I am in a good place, I stay close to the boards because reminding myself of how far I've come keeps me grateful. Gratitude has changed my life, and when I think back to the way I was living and the road I was on, it literally brings me to tears because ANYTHING is better than that life. I feel like I am such a better person for this experience. Adderall made me delusional and narcissistic, but today I am full of compassion.
  4. My story, kinda

    Hi Alyssa. welcome to the forums!!! I thought I'd give my two cents in regards to your question about quitting adderall while in college. I can only speak from my own experience, and while I did not quit in college, I put it off for the same reasons you mentioned. I had determined it would be easier after I graduated, but I could not have been more wrong. The problem with this logic is that while you won't be in school, you'll likely have other, if not more pressing, responsibilities. In my particular case, I already had a full time position in my organization my senior year of college after being hired from an internship. I conpleteted that year by taking night and online classes all while working full time. My career really took off initially and the prospect of quitting adderall became less and less of an option. I've talked in several other posts about how my additiction spiraled out of control until I was left with no other choice but to quit. To do this, I had to, after over 4 years in my organization, go to my boss and explain that I needed to take a leave of absence to go to rehab. I am incredibly lucky and forever grateful for the support and understanding I received, but this was far from an ideal situation. I won't sugar coat the fact that getting off this shit is a miserable process. I personally was pretty much useless for almost 10 months. However, if I could go back in time, hindsight as it is, I would have just taken a semester off in college to take care of the problem. I would have saved myself so much heartache.... keep us posted on your decision and best of luck to you!! You deserve a life above and beyond the cycle adderall has you trapped in
  5. There's a ted talk that mentions this experiment too @Frank B https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong/transcript
  6. For me, I was pretty much driven to the point where I had no other choice. i had neglected every aspect of my life in order to keep my addiction going, and the reality of the situation came crashing down around me within a matter of a few months. My ex kicked me out, I maxed out every credit card I had, found myself drinking at extremely questionable hours, was stuck in a never ending binge/withdrawal 2 week cycle living for my next refill, developed strange health issues, destroyed my teeth and the list goes on and on.... I knew I could not keep the pace for much longer and checked myself into rehab before I lost everything. I wish that things didn't have to get to the point they did, but I truly don't think I would have quit any other way. I DID NOT want to quit, but I also knew the future was looking extra bleak if I didn't. It's going to take me a long time to completely recover from the years of wreckage I created, but I am doing it, one day at a time. Quitting was the best thing I could have ever done for myself, and even in the mess I've created, I truly feel happy for the first time in almost a decade. Life is crazy like that...
  7. LOS ANGELES

    I will be in San Diego October 24th-29th for a work conference. Would love to meet up with any QA friends in the area
  8. Hand Termors

    I definitely experienced tremors, in both my hands and feet. However, I think mine were mostly alcohol related as I was drinking an obscene amount of alcohol to ease the comedown.. they went away almost immediately after quitting.,.
  9. Almost 4mo off and miserable

    Hi Eric! Welcome to the boards. I have been off of adderall for a little over 14 months after about 8 years of use. If you look back at some of my posts, you'll see I went through this EXACT phase at 4 months. In fact, months 4-6 were the absolute worst for me. I was quite literally on the verge of a mental breakdown where I was ready to quit my job, say fck everything, and move back in with my parents lol: I think diet, exercise, and some supplements certainly can help, but the best thing is to just focus on getting though one day at a time. I know it feels like it will NEVER get better, but it does and there is so much evidence on this site from ppl who have quit long term. I personally saw improvements in months 7-9, but the real turn around where I started to feel like a normal person again came in month 10. It's been consistently improving since then, and I think of adderall less and less. Best of luck to you, and keep us posted on your progress
  10. 14 months!! :)

    Hey QA friends!! Just doing a check in for my 14 month milestone tomorrow!! I'm happy to report that I am still doing well, to my own surprise. Honestly, it feels like the last 4 months or so have been a cosmic shift from the first 10 months of my quit. Don't get my wrong, my life situation is still a mess as a result of my adderall/alcohol/benzo use. I'm still several years from paying off the debt I acquired and still learning to come to terms with destroying a relationship that could have been something great, but I think the main difference now is my confidence and belief in my ability to get through this. I honestly spent the first 10 months consumed with so much guilt and self-hatred that I wasn't doing much more than laying around waiting/hoping to die. I'm sure this sounds extreme, but life hardly felt worth living. I at least now have hope for the future and have tasted a glimpse of what it could be like. The gratitude I feel for overcoming this addiction is indescribable, and I feel like it has given me an appreciation for life that I never could have had without this experience, and for that, I am forever thankful!!!
  11. 16 Months!

    Glad to hear how well you're doing. I have to say as I trail slightly behind you that I have found our recovery to be very similar. I could not agree more with your statement about not beating up on yourself. Doing that kept me in the darkest place I've ever been in my life for nearly 9 months. When I finally just gave myself a bit of understanding and forgiveness, my recovery really took a 180. I also agree with not thinking about adderall unless it's in a 'omg I can't believe that was my life' kind of way lol. Keep up the great work
  12. Just Got Dumped

    First of all, congratulations on a year!!! Gosh, that is huge. I know I don't need to remind you that adderall nor alcohol will make the situation any better, as tempting as they may sound. I definitely understand the pain you are feeling right now. You may have seen in some of my posts that a breakup has been my biggest struggle this past year as well, though it was about 3 months prior and really the motivating force that led to my quit. I understand how much it hurts, and really the only thing that is going to heal it is time. In the meantime, focus on yourself, be proud of how far you've come, and stay on track. If you need or want to talk about anything, I am all ears
  13. My Struggle As A Stripper

    That's awesome, @Lovebear. Congrats!!!!
  14. CBT experiences anyone?

    I know there's even a bunch on iBooks. I need to look for one that my therapist had given me. Would hate to recommend one that isn't great. i would definitely take up your college counselor!!! Why not if it's free!!! It's way too expensive without the insurance coverage so I get that for sure. I know my insurance gladly covers therapy if it means keeping me out of rehab which carries a way bigger price tag... might be worth mentioning to them.. Let us know how it goes!!!
  15. Adderall caused thyroid/adrenal issues?

    For me, everything started to improve around the 10th month. Both my depression and health significantly got better and continue to as I approach 13 months I'm still way chubbier than I'd like to be but I just feel overall 1000000x better than I did in the early stages...