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About Cheeri0

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  1. Adderall caused thyroid/adrenal issues?

    @Kimber I'm two weeks shy of 1 year and I've noticed massive improvements in how my body feels in the past month. In order to psychologically get off the pills, I spent a lot of time netflixing, eating bad food, ect. I needed that down time to make quitting not overwhelming. Now that I've adjusted a little more, I'm eating better, going on walks, ect. My skin looks younger, my teeth are whiter, my body feels healthier. At 6 months I was wondering if I'd ever feel better again. Wait it out, I promise it improves!
  2. Where is everyone from?

    Northern Virginia/Washington DC
  3. Thanks for the reply Duffman! Yeah, I've struggled with hypochondria/anxiety/ocd tendencies my whole life, it's really just a part of my personality that adderall exacerbated exponentially. I've seen a lot of improvement this past year but I still have a ways to go in terms of completely normalizing that part of myself. I think all of us here tend to have very "particular" personality types that likely lended themselves well to the allure of perfectionism that adderall initially promised. I went to the doctor yesterday and just flat out told her my physical symptoms, nothing about my anxiety/adderall abuse at first. She diagnosed me in 3 minutes. I have a pulled muscle in my chest (hence the pain while breathing in). No lung problems, no heart problems, just a pulled muscle. Advil should do the trick. It made me feel so silly for all the worrying I had done. But I'm just trying to be patient with myself... hopefully the anxiety will subside eventually. I really need to start looking into meditation techniques, I think that'd help me a lot.
  4. Yea, sorry for the anxiety spiral everyone. I made that post after spending a lot of anxious time in my own head. Feeling a lot more calm now.
  5. Hey everyone. I'm coming up on a year clean and still really paranoid about the stress I put my body through during addiction. I had a really bad virus/cold a few weeks ago, and now (three weeks later), I'm still experiencing INTENSE chest pain every time I breath even semi-deep. Even though I'm only 25, I was a chain smoker on Adderall (and even for a while after I quit), and I have a lot of anxiety. What if the pain is being caused by lung cancer? Or worse, heart damage? I made an appointment with my GP for tomorrow, and I'm struggling with how to handle it. She was the one who prescribed me the adderall for 7 years, and I never told her about my abuse. I just ghosted her and haven't seen her since I quit. So, I know I have to come clean to her about the addiction/abuse. That's going to happen no matter what. She'll likely feel personally betrayed because we (used to) have a close relationship, but if I'm going to continue to see her for medical advice she needs to know. That being said, I have a few options for how to handle the rest of tomorrow's appointment: 1) I could tell her that I'm experiencing the chest pain, leave it at that, and see what her medical opinion is for how to proceed. OR, 2) I can tell her that I spend way too much time worrying about my health because of my drug abuse. That the anxiety is messing with my every day life. That to quell my worries, I want an EKG and a chest x-ray. I just can't stand being this paranoid about my health. Is asking her for these things just indulging irrational fears that I should try to calm on my own without the help of physicians? Or is it worth it to push for the tests that will put my mind at ease? Could really use some advice. Thanks everyone. Edit: I have great insurance, so cost isn't really an issue here. I just don't want to be ridiculous and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this.
  6. My Best Shot at an Honest Life

    I feel as though this post deserves a reply I am not capable of giving at the moment, but for now I'll say this: This is the most beautifully written, soul-touching mini-memoir I've ever read on this site. You are an extraordinarily talented writer. Your words give me so much clear insight as to your spiritual condition and my heart breaks for you. You can absolutely do this. Please stick around and let us be a part of your journey. I'll write more to you when I can do your feelings justice! Be well, friend.
  7. Snorting ~150mg Adderall every day that I can

    Hey -- DoctorRock, no one is trying to undermine your progress. The reason we're all here is our mutual goal of nixing adderall, and you've reached that goal! That's great! We support you in that. It's not an easy thing to do. I think your story is really amazing and I'm so happy that you've found peace and personal progress out of the darkness you discussed in your posts. By virtue of you being here, we hope you support us in our abstinence also, regardless of how we achieved it. We all do it in different ways. The truth is, there's no "one way" to get off of drugs. You talk about psychology a lot, so you should know that this is 101. Differing neurochemistry means that different approaches work for different people. This is the foundation for all medical diagnosis guidelines, cognitive behavioral therapy, research endeavors, ect. We convene here to discuss our struggles. So this hyper-evangelical "all you have to do is train your mind!"/Tony Robins bit can come across as a little condescending for those of us who followed different paths or are experiencing hardship. No one's saying not to do what works for you, it's great that you're feeling so well! There's a lot of validity in what you're saying and your approach to addressing addiction psychologically is very wise. I think your mistake, though, is thinking that *everyone* would benefit from the same thoughts if only they invested enough effort. I got to 11 months clean with NA. Tony Robbins didn't work for me. No offense, but I think he's a pop psychologist at best, cultist at worst. I don't doubt that he's helped some people, but tbh his videos make me cringe and think "how in the hell does anyone buy this bs". I prefer sitting in a room with people with shared experiences and talking about what's bothering us. I get that for some people, my method seems totally depressing/redundant. For a lot of people, NA is complete BS for those who need religion/a boogyman to solve all their problems. But it's what works for me. If Tony works for you, you shouldn't feel the need to defend him to everyone. Just accept that he's your cup of tea but not everyone's. It's what I do with NA and what stealth does with his keto diet. The point is, find whatever floats your boat. It sounds like you have. Congrats! I think we're just hoping that everyone on this board will be respectful of everyone else's journey. We're not stupid just because we didn't do it the way you did, and you're not stupid for following your path. As long as we're all clean, we're equal. Congrats again, hope this clears a few things up for you.
  8. Do you drink off Adderall?

    Good question, I often wonder the same thing. When I first quit adderall I still drank. I didn't even think twice about a glass of wine at dinner now and then because I never had an issue with booze. However, after a few weeks off the pills when my cravings got more intense I started getting serious about my NA program. NA literature is very clear: "alcohol is a drug" and addicts need to nix all drugs to recover, or else we run the risk of substituting one for the other. The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. I quit drinking a month after I quit adderall and don't regret it at all (though I'm not 100 percent sure it was necessary to recover from amphetamine addiction). If I'm honest with myself, I think the real reason I quit drinking was to feel a sense of belonging in NA. And it has been absolutely worth it. I was so isolated before... like, epically lonely. And I really needed to focus on my recovery. If quitting drinking meant I got to solve both of those problems at once ,then so be it. Wine doesn't mean more to me than emotional sanity, yknow? The relationships I have in NA and the spiritual progress I've made are HUGE pros that outwiegh the cons of teetotaling! Could I have found a way to happiness that didn't include NA and quitting drinking? Probably. But I was out of time, was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and just picked an available method I thought would work for me instead of waiting for the "perfect formula" to come around. I don't regret it a bit. Curious to hear other perspectives!
  9. Night terrors

    Wishing you the best Sean, it's awesome that you're putting your health first now and taking care of yourself!
  10. Hey Speeder - just to be frank with you: this is gonna get worse before it gets better. In about two weeks, you're going to feel so full of lethargy that your mind is gonna start playing tricks on you. You'll remember your Psych's suggestion about ritalin and you'll start thinking to yourself "hmmm maybe he's right, maybe that would work." Don't let it win. Be clear with him upfront that you're not interested in taking any stimulants, ever, period, point blank. They all lead down the same miserable road for addicts, and you've continuously proven you are one. As far as the prozac is concerned, they put me on it for a month or two back in my using days. It's definitely the most "up" SSRI. Won't immediately put you to sleep like zoloft will, but it will tucker you out. So be prepared for some foggyness. I've personally been on the 0 pharmaceutical train ever since I quit adderall (I think it's the most direct road to sanity, and especially worth trying for us younger folks), but antidepressants have helped a lot of people here so do what feels right for your body. Just don't take something you aren't sure you need. Best of luck, bud. Congrats - you made a huge step. Stay strong and don't fuck it up. Cheerio
  11. Night terrors

    You haven't been taking any antibiotics for an infection have you? My dreams definitely became more intense after I quit, but I was lucky enough to never deal with night terrors. However, I have many friends who got wicked night terrors after being prescribed strong antibiotics for ear infections and the like. Just a thought! Hope the dreams ease
  12. You sound so much like me. I would binge heavily during finals, was terrified to tell my parents what was going on, asked friends to hide my pills, and sporadically tried NA meetings also. I'm sorry you're going through this... the depersonalization especially is hellish. I feel for you. Just know that you're not alone and other people have felt exactly what you're feeling now. It's time to make a change, though. Sooner rather than later. Eventually your body won't be able to handle it anymore. You need to take a step back, congratulate yourself for making it through the semester, and ask yourself what you really want. Look out for yourself, no one else is going to. We're here for you.
  13. While you're on a high dose, it sounds like you've never abused your script. Is that true? If so, you might have avoided the very slippery slope of binge use (which, at your monthly consumption levels is pretty life-saving). If you feel spiritually/mentally/physically off, college (although stressful) might actually be an ideal time to experiment with sobriety. Building sober confidence now would serve you well in the future if you decide to stay med-free. Please keep us updated and let us know what you decide! We're all rooting for you.
  14. Hm. I've taken Vyvanse quite a bit and definitely wouldn't describe it as mellow. I know that the comedowns are a lot less harsh and it doesn't cause that immediate RUSH that adderall does, but it's chemically still an amphetamine and the reward system it enacts in your brain is identical. If you think the adderall caused some chemical damage to your brain, taking vyvanse (which is very similar) isn't going to help. And as far as the breaks you talk about: it took my head about 4 months to feel normal again after quitting speed. If you're taking two month breaks and then pumping your brain full of amphetamines again it's not going to heal completely, and you'll still be craving amphetamines and relying on them to function. If I were you, and worried that adderall had damaged my brain and health, I wouldn't be messing around with its chemical cousin lightly.
  15. Hey Zay, have you stopped amphetamines entirely yet? Like, no vyvanse at all?