Subtracterall

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About Subtracterall

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  1. Blood pressure higher off adderall, wha?

    Holy crap that sounds scary. I had to look that one up. I just got off the phone with my doctors office and my blood work and urine sample came back normal for everything they tested for including kidney and liver function. I wonder if I had a short stent of this like you did because I remember my pee looking kinda brownish right around the time I quit. Good lord this drug is bad.
  2. I took adderall 20-40 mg for 12 years. Not once in that 12 year span did a single doctor tell me I had high blood pressure and in the span of 12 years I went to A LOT of doctor appointments. My blood pressure reading was always Normal, sometimes it was low. Since quitting (approx 3 months ago) my blood pressure has actually gone up from what it was while I was on adderall, but I'm still in the normal range. Most people I read about on here had high blood pressure on adderall and the blood pressure went down after quitting. Toward the end of my use I swear I felt like i had high blood pressure but my numbers don't correlate. Has anyone else had this happen? I'm confused by this and I'm having some health issues so wondering if this is part of it. Any insight is appreciated. Thanks.
  3. Today is a good day !

    Yay Frank! Glad to hear it!
  4. Kay, have you considered that it might be Pulsatile Tinnitus? I just read about it and it seems plausible. Not trying to alarm you in any way - obviously I'm no doctor. Just trying to figure this out too.
  5. If you find out what it is and how to stop it please let me know and I will do the same.
  6. There is no doubt in my mind my head throb was caused by taking adderall. Like you I was also at a low dose when it happened. I've had other physical issues I'm dealing with too and had not gotten around to asking about this one yet but saw your old post weeks ago and had intended to reply. I think it is A result of the the build up of pressure. Maybe we narrowly avoided a stroke who knows. How old are you? I'm 42. Do you suffer from any chronic health conditions? I have been diagnosed with veinous disease and I wonder if these things could be related.
  7. It does seem too extreme to be anxiety and that is why I doubt it's anxiety too. When it first started happening what were you feeling physically and was it the day after you stopped taking it or did it start while you were still on it? Here is how it started for me: I think it was the day I quit or the day before I quit, I literally felt like I was about to have a stroke or heart attack or something. My body felt like the titanic that just hit the iceberg and steam was pouring out (not literally but that's how it felt). It felt like a lot of pressure had built up inside my body and it was about to blow and the result was this pulse and throb I could feel throughout my body including my head. Is that how it started for you? I also had the pulse throb sensation in my feet at night but that has stopped for the most part.
  8. I have but it does not sound the same as what you are feeling. I have what feels like a pulse in my head or a throbbing sensation in my head since quitting. Stretching and exercise helped a little bit but I can still feel it. It's not painful just a concern that makes me think I've got some long term damage to my body. However like you i have googled the crap out of my symptoms and all I can find is that it could be caused by anxiety, but I don't know if I really buy the anxiety thing.. I do suffer from anxiety so I do hope that is the cause. I also hope you find relief soon and find out what this is. I wish I could make it go away for both you and me. I also agree with Frank that you should maybe try a chiropractor. Have you tried accupuncture? If I had unlimited time and money I would do both of those things.
  9. Scared to stop.

    It's difficult to say exactly when things got better for me because I had a relapse and I think I went into mild psychosis at the end (even tho I was on a low dose of approx 10-15 mg per day). When I finally quit I felt very confused and disoriented and it has taken a while to get my head back on straight. Still working on that a little lol. If you haven't read about PAWS be sure to. It helps explain some things. I'm not actually in a recovery program. I say I am in recovery because my body is still physically repairing itself. I think it will take months maybe years before I am fully back to "normal" physically. I'm older now than when i started adderall so sometimes it's difficult to know whether I feel lower energy because I'm older or if it's because I'm not fully recovered physically from adderall. It's probably a combination of the two so I'm keeping my expectations in check. When I first quit there were days where my body was so happy it was like being sober was the new high and I wanted to shout it to the world! That felt really good and helped offset the miserable days. Things that helped me get through working (i could not take any time off). I slept in my car during my lunch break. I had two little pillows and a blanket in my car and would nap from 12-1PM and then eat soup at my desk after my nap. Put lots of turmeric and cayenne pepper in my soup. Also what helped for work, I take a thermos of coffee with coconut oil and no sugar to get me going in the morning. I pack my food for the day when I go to work: fresh fruits and veggies, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, dried fruits (mainly cherries) and meats. I eat healthy food all day long so I'm never hungry or feeling like my tank is low. Drink water all day too. I lay low as much as possible now. I was late on some things and I disappointed my boss and co workers with my poor performance and I am working to make it up to them but I'm also working on my "I don't give a flip" attitude and that has helped me not worry so much about missing a deadline or two. After all, other people have sucked worse and i am a valuable employee who cares about doing the right thing (positive affirmations). I take a supplement from whole foods that I think has helped my brain get out of the fog. It has ginkgo and fish oil, velvet bean and some other things too. I took l-tyrosine at first and it did make me feel happier but it also seemed to cause muscle twitches so I am not taking it anymore but it def helped with my mood. I also take B12 when I get out of bed every morning. Sorry I'm skipping all over the place I'm not a very well organized writer. From what I have read though everyone is different so you gotta find out what works for you. You sound like you are going to do really well off this stuff. I bet your body is going to be very pleased with your decision.
  10. Scared to stop.

    Thank you for sharing your story. You and I took it for about the same amount of time. Your reasons for quitting sound very similar to my reasons. I know what you mean about being scared to stop. I felt the same way the whole time I took it. Like you, adderall stopped working for me those last few years and all that it seemed to do was make me feel sick but I still could not stop, until my body forced me to stop when the valves in my leg veins failed.. Looking back though, I should not have been scared which is why I wanted to reply to you. Even tho I'm still in recovery, I feel better physically now. And I have hope. I also feel real feelings again and have had several really hard belly laughs - you know when you laugh so hard that your tummy muscles get sore. That never happened on adderall. I guess my point is that you have so much enjoyable life ahead of you after you stop this poison. Don't get me wrong, the first few weeks are hell there is no denying that. It will be hell for you too I suspect but it's temporary and it will pass. The grass really is greener over here. I'm excited for your quit! I guess that's kinda weird but whatever. Welcome to the boards!
  11. Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In

    Just got back from the doctor. She prescribed me some steroid cream for the ankle rash and assured me its not kidney failure or heart failure or diabetes. She said I am suffering from severe anxiety. She didn't even want to run any tests as my results last time were a-ok. I did ask her to run some blood work and take a urine sample to be sure and she did so I will wait for results but she said I'm okay just have super bad anxiety. I'm so relieved. All you guys were right. It's all in my head. Dang this stuff is some crazy stuff to come off of. Thank you again everybody for your support.
  12. Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In

    Thanks Frank. I do work out but not at a gym. I've been reading about heart failure and I do have some of the symptoms. when I think that I may have done damage I get horrible anxiety - like right now. I feel like at 65 days I should not be this fatigued when I wake up in the morning. Are you still fatigued at all?
  13. Day 65 Severe Depression Kicks In

    Thank you for your reply Duffman. I'm really worried about heart damage and I guess the only way to know what's going on is to see a heart doctor. I want to know and then again I don't want to know what damage I've done to my heart. I will kiss the ground if this rash on my ankle is nothing major and will heal.. If I can just have another chance at health I will be good. I keep saying that like God will hear me and grant me one more chance. I'm not religious but sometimes lately I feel maybe I should be because this is some difficult stuff to come to terms with. really appreciate your reply. Thank you. <3 BTW I'm out of the bathroom stall now. Face still puffy from crying and i can't help but think it's because I ruined my heart.
  14. All of a sudden I am so depressed I feel like I would be better off if I could disappear. Not sure why I think posting here will do anything I guess I don't but I don't know where else to turn. I'm not taking any more flipping pharma drugs. How can I get back on track. I am at work crying in the bathroom stall. This is so hard. I am terrified of the damage I've done to my body. That's mainly where all this is coming from. Help me.
  15. 10 months and counting!

    Hi Oswhid. That's great news about your hubs and I hope he continues on this path. I wanted to chime in because i also got cramps in my calves when walking like your husband and since I've had my incompetent veins shut down I've been working my way up little by little and now I can walk briskly for 50 mins and have no pain. It took time to work up to that tho and I'm still afraid to jog and may never jog again but at least I can walk. I also had some weird pulsing in my leg near the ankle and it was because I needed to stretch my leg muscles (mainly my hamstring). I know that should be common sense but took me a while to figure it out and the sensation was scaring the crap out of me. I guess my point is for your hubs to take it slow at first and work up to it and be sure to stretch.