Subtracterall

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About Subtracterall

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  1. 10 Months Adderall Free

    Today is ten months since I took my last Adderall pill. I was on it for twelve years. When I quit I threw a full three month supply in the garbage. Yesterday I found a broken old pink pill in the crack of my purse. I smelled it. I put my tongue on it. And then I wrapped it in toilet paper, dipped it in some water, put it in a ziplock bag, and put it in the garbage where it belongs I've heard other people talk about major improvement at ten months and I want to confirm it is the same for me. That heavy sloth like feeling in my limbs is pretty much gone. That ache deep in my bones comes less and less. My confidence is coming back albeit slowly. I feel real natural energy again. There is hope to feel good again my friends. But you gotta stay quit. Sending positive vibes to all those out there struggling. Keep at it. It's worth it.
  2. What made you quit or want to quit Adderall?

    Last year when I was 42 I had acute vein failure in some of my leg veins. Here is how it went down: One day at work I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden I could feel a lot of downward pressure in my calves. It turns out the blood pressure induced by Adderall plus sitting at my computer for long stretches literally "blew out" the one way valves that transport venous blood return from the body to the heart. There is only one other person on this site who reported the same side effect. She was in her twenties when it happened to her. It was scary and painful. Leaky veins made my ankles swell. I had cankles and could barely walk or even sit in a chair without serious discomfort. I had both small saphanous veins plus some others lasered shut. It fixed the problem temporarily and I thought I could go back on adderall in a smal dose, but when I did get back on adderall, I blew out more veins in my legs. Then I Had to get both large saphanous veins lasered out on the second go round of treatments. Treatments and compression therapy cost me approx six thousand dollars in medical copays and deductibles. Funny that I have what is considered "good health insurance" by American standards. I have been off adderall for almost 10 months now and I just had a check up. My leg veins are stable for now.
  3. Finally Ready To Quit, But Terrified

    Do you have any retired family members whom you can confide in and ask them to come stay with you for a while to help you through the transition. Maybe a grandparent, aunt, uncle, parent, distant cousin or even a friend who is in between jobs. Is there anyone you can recruit to come help you get through the first month or two. If not then have you considered an in patient rehab facility? Your job sounds like the kind that comes with Heath insurance. Find out if in patient rehab is an option for you. It's not like you are taking advantage of the situation or trying to skirt work - you need legitimate help. And you deserve some help to get through this. Our big boss man is out on FMLA right now and we are all concerned for him and no one knows why he is out we just know he is sick. He will be gone for another two months. That could be you getting the very real break that you need. There is someone on here who went to in patient rehab and if you search rehab you can probably find her story. I wish I had gone to rehab instead of trying to tough it out at work. I can relate to so much of your story. I finally got married for the first time at age 38. You are going to get through this. It won't be easy as you already know but you have been successful in other areas of your life and seem like the kind of person who can do this. It may take longer than one month to feel better but you will feel better if you give it time, I promise. Hang in there.
  4. Great things about not taking adderall

    I'm a better parent off of adderall
  5. Real restful sleep/wake up feeling pretty good Don’t look tweeked out/sick feel real emotions again/I can cry again Look healthier Better health inside too/leg veins are functioning I can relate to people again/be social Not thirsty all the time, I can actually go somewhere without water on me My limbs don’t feel heavy anymore My mouth is moist No more rage/I’m nicer No more racing thoughts No more paranoia Don’t have to take time off work to go see doctor for meds Save money because not purchasing Adderall Don’t need ambien or other downers to get to sleep I drink less alcohol off adderall I have no desire to smoke cigarettes without Adderall I can exercise again Appetite for healthy food is back/I enjoy food again
  6. Ears ringing

    Yes my ear ringing seems to be getting less and less as time goes on. I had ringing in my ears pretty regularly after I quit. I have been off for 8 months now and I cannot remember the last time my ears rang - probably about a month or two ago. Episodes of ringing are less frequent and don't last as long these days.
  7. Share Your Post Quit Accomplishments

    Thanks everyone for your replies. Duffman, I work in IT because….adderall. I am not a technical person and never have been. I feel like I have conned my way through a 15 year career in IT – relying on adderall 98% of the time (I'm off adderall for 8 months now and will never go back to it). After years of mind numbing adderall and not keeping current with new technology, my technical skill set is antiquated and it is very difficult to find work, although I do have a degree in business, and a full time job in IT right now. I should be more thankful for my job, but I’m not. I’m working on being more thankful. Without Adderall, I have to force myself to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours per day. I feel like a rat in a cage five days a week. A few years ago I tried going back to school to get into the nursing field, but had to drop out for financial reasons, and I was about to fail Anatomy anyways - reminds me why I majored in business in the first place. I want to change my career, but I know my brain does not work as well as it did before Adderall. Maybe it is partially my age (I’m 42) and not all due to Adderall, but I feel stupid a lot of the time. I wonder how is a person with my brain going to change their life in such a major way. I want to start a small business or go back to school or get certified to do something else but I don’t know what yet, so I am brainstorming ideas. Hoping to get some ideas or inspiration from all of you my fellow ex-addies.. Thank you again for your replies. I really love this forum.
  8. Hope everyone out there is doing okay today. Anybody quit adderall and go on to accomplish something that took a lot of effort/work/focus? Maybe you started your own business or went on to get a degree or certification you needed after quitting? Looking to hear some major success stories of things you accomplished after quitting. Thanks all.
  9. Adderall caused thyroid/adrenal issues?

    Maybe adrenal fatigue is the reason that I sleep a full 8-9 hours each night but still feel physical fatigue after I wake up in the morning. I've been off adderall for almost 7 months now. I also have the heartbeat feeling in my head and neck. If you find something that helps take the heartbeat away please share and I will do the same.
  10. How Can This Possibly Be 8 Years Later?

    Thank you for sharing your story. Welcome to the board. You ARE good enough without adderall. You really are. Give yourself a chance to experience that again - to find the old you - she is still in there somewhere waiting to emerge. Adderall has stopped working for you and you sound so ready to let it go. Continuing to take it when you get no benefit is not helping you in any way. I strongly believe you are prolonging pain at this point by continuing to take it - because you are already in withdrawal - and continuing this way is only prolonging the withdrawal you are experiencing. That is one thing I learned from reading here and from my own experience because it's what I did too. The sooner you quit for good, the sooner you will begin to feel better. Will it be the hardest thing you've ever done? Quite possibly. But it will be so worth it.
  11. Where is everyone from?

    Houston, TX. It's a polluted, materialistic, debt trap and someday I'm getting out of here.
  12. Is Adderall Ruining My Marriage?

    I'm not proud of what I am about to tell you. When I first started taking adderall I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart. We had been together for 5 years. He was really good to me. When I got hooked on his adderall prescription I was so ashamed I could not tell him. He told his parents that I used all of his adderall and I was humiliated. I don't know why adderall made me think he was the enemy - I'm still trying to figure out why I broke up with him twenty years later. Breaking up with him is one of my biggest mistakes/regrets. I say all this to say that yes I think it is entirely possible that adderall is ruining your marriage. It made me feel invincible and I was "in love" with adderall and didn't need anyone else to be getting in my way. It changed my priorities and turned my life upside down.. sounds like it's doing the same to your hubs. I'm sorry this is happening. I hope your husband can get clean before he loses his family.
  13. Generation RX documentary

    I can't find the movie on Netflix, Amazon or YouTube. Anyone know how where the movie went or how to get a copy?
  14. An Update And The Word I Fear The Most

    Congratulations Duffman. Thank you for sharing your accomplishment. You are living proof that ex-addys can go on to achieve bigger things!!!
  15. Hugs to you Jen. I wish I could jump through this phone and make it better. You've made it so far and that is such a great accomplishment so congrats on that. From what a few people say on here it can take longer than 9 months so please hang in there. What would you say to your best friend or son or daughter if they were feeling the way you are feeling? When I am feeling really down I try to imagine what I would say to my best friend if they were feeling that way - and then I do self talk in my own head using those words. I hope that makes sense.