Subtracterall

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About Subtracterall

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  1. Share Your Post Quit Accomplishments

    Thanks everyone for your replies. Duffman, I work in IT because….adderall. I am not a technical person and never have been. I feel like I have conned my way through a 15 year career in IT – relying on adderall 98% of the time (I'm off adderall for 8 months now and will never go back to it). After years of mind numbing adderall and not keeping current with new technology, my technical skill set is antiquated and it is very difficult to find work, although I do have a degree in business, and a full time job in IT right now. I should be more thankful for my job, but I’m not. I’m working on being more thankful. Without Adderall, I have to force myself to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours per day. I feel like a rat in a cage five days a week. A few years ago I tried going back to school to get into the nursing field, but had to drop out for financial reasons, and I was about to fail Anatomy anyways - reminds me why I majored in business in the first place. I want to change my career, but I know my brain does not work as well as it did before Adderall. Maybe it is partially my age (I’m 42) and not all due to Adderall, but I feel stupid a lot of the time. I wonder how is a person with my brain going to change their life in such a major way. I want to start a small business or go back to school or get certified to do something else but I don’t know what yet, so I am brainstorming ideas. Hoping to get some ideas or inspiration from all of you my fellow ex-addies.. Thank you again for your replies. I really love this forum.
  2. Hope everyone out there is doing okay today. Anybody quit adderall and go on to accomplish something that took a lot of effort/work/focus? Maybe you started your own business or went on to get a degree or certification you needed after quitting? Looking to hear some major success stories of things you accomplished after quitting. Thanks all.
  3. Adderall caused thyroid/adrenal issues?

    Maybe adrenal fatigue is the reason that I sleep a full 8-9 hours each night but still feel physical fatigue after I wake up in the morning. I've been off adderall for almost 7 months now. I also have the heartbeat feeling in my head and neck. If you find something that helps take the heartbeat away please share and I will do the same.
  4. How Can This Possibly Be 8 Years Later?

    Thank you for sharing your story. Welcome to the board. You ARE good enough without adderall. You really are. Give yourself a chance to experience that again - to find the old you - she is still in there somewhere waiting to emerge. Adderall has stopped working for you and you sound so ready to let it go. Continuing to take it when you get no benefit is not helping you in any way. I strongly believe you are prolonging pain at this point by continuing to take it - because you are already in withdrawal - and continuing this way is only prolonging the withdrawal you are experiencing. That is one thing I learned from reading here and from my own experience because it's what I did too. The sooner you quit for good, the sooner you will begin to feel better. Will it be the hardest thing you've ever done? Quite possibly. But it will be so worth it.
  5. Where is everyone from?

    Houston, TX. It's a polluted, materialistic, debt trap and someday I'm getting out of here.
  6. Is Adderall Ruining My Marriage?

    I'm not proud of what I am about to tell you. When I first started taking adderall I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart. We had been together for 5 years. He was really good to me. When I got hooked on his adderall prescription I was so ashamed I could not tell him. He told his parents that I used all of his adderall and I was humiliated. I don't know why adderall made me think he was the enemy - I'm still trying to figure out why I broke up with him twenty years later. Breaking up with him is one of my biggest mistakes/regrets. I say all this to say that yes I think it is entirely possible that adderall is ruining your marriage. It made me feel invincible and I was "in love" with adderall and didn't need anyone else to be getting in my way. It changed my priorities and turned my life upside down.. sounds like it's doing the same to your hubs. I'm sorry this is happening. I hope your husband can get clean before he loses his family.
  7. Generation RX documentary

    I can't find the movie on Netflix, Amazon or YouTube. Anyone know how where the movie went or how to get a copy?
  8. An Update And The Word I Fear The Most

    Congratulations Duffman. Thank you for sharing your accomplishment. You are living proof that ex-addys can go on to achieve bigger things!!!
  9. Hugs to you Jen. I wish I could jump through this phone and make it better. You've made it so far and that is such a great accomplishment so congrats on that. From what a few people say on here it can take longer than 9 months so please hang in there. What would you say to your best friend or son or daughter if they were feeling the way you are feeling? When I am feeling really down I try to imagine what I would say to my best friend if they were feeling that way - and then I do self talk in my own head using those words. I hope that makes sense.
  10. 300mg a day down to 0mg

    Welcome to the site. Congratulations on getting down to zero mg. Looking forward to your story.
  11. Not sleeping not tired

    That's great news y'all! You give me hope!
  12. " I work all summer until September when school starts again. One thing I think about is that if I do begin that process of quitting and ridding my body of Adderall completely, there's no going back forever. What if I do still need it? What if I cannot focus without it once I'm off?" Part of getting off adderall is accepting that we are human - not super human machines. You probably won't be the same without it and that's okay - you have to accept your real self and your natural productivity which you may find is even better then what you do now. As for not having time - try quitting while holding down a full time job, mortgage, kids and being the family breadwinner. What I'm trying to say is since you are young and don't have kids this is actually a very good time in your life to do this.
  13. Curious about how you feel physically and mentally. After over twelve years on addy (low dose) I was totally burned out and that's putting it mildly. Of course you are way younger then I am. Anyway sad to say it, but I agree with Frank. The good news is you made it this far and are alive and well. Flipping nuts they give this poison to young children. How do you feel when you don't take it? Are you able to get out of bed in the morning and go about your normal daily routine? If so what's stopping you from quitting now? if it was me...I would complete my degree and then plan a three month vacation to quit this stuff for good. But if you can graduate without it, quit now. IMO life is different off addy. Different and better. You deserve to try it out for yourself.
  14. Finals week relapse and my mental breakdown (update)

    Go easy on the clonazepam. That stuff erases your memory. It happened to me. I took it for a year or so and don't remember much from that time in my life. Then a new doctor said he did not want to prescribe that to me because it causes memory loss. I don't touch that sh!t anymore.
  15. Took adderall for over ten years. Been off for about four months now. I know it's still early but I have to wonder how long is this weighted down sloth like feeling going to last. Certainly I have times when I don't feel weighted down but other times, Like this afternoon, I feel like I have twenty extra pounds I am lugging around. It takes so much effort to get up and take a short walk. I've gained approx 10 lbs in four months but I don't think that's what is causing this weighted down feeling? I eat right and exercise almost everyday. Any long term ex users out there - does the weighted down sloth like feeling ever go away for good? How long does it take?