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About Subtracterall

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  1. Generation RX documentary

    I can't find the movie on Netflix, Amazon or YouTube. Anyone know how where the movie went or how to get a copy?
  2. An Update And The Word I Fear The Most

    Congratulations Duffman. Thank you for sharing your accomplishment. You are living proof that ex-addys can go on to achieve bigger things!!!
  3. Hugs to you Jen. I wish I could jump through this phone and make it better. You've made it so far and that is such a great accomplishment so congrats on that. From what a few people say on here it can take longer than 9 months so please hang in there. What would you say to your best friend or son or daughter if they were feeling the way you are feeling? When I am feeling really down I try to imagine what I would say to my best friend if they were feeling that way - and then I do self talk in my own head using those words. I hope that makes sense.
  4. 300mg a day down to 0mg

    Welcome to the site. Congratulations on getting down to zero mg. Looking forward to your story.
  5. Not sleeping not tired

    That's great news y'all! You give me hope!
  6. " I work all summer until September when school starts again. One thing I think about is that if I do begin that process of quitting and ridding my body of Adderall completely, there's no going back forever. What if I do still need it? What if I cannot focus without it once I'm off?" Part of getting off adderall is accepting that we are human - not super human machines. You probably won't be the same without it and that's okay - you have to accept your real self and your natural productivity which you may find is even better then what you do now. As for not having time - try quitting while holding down a full time job, mortgage, kids and being the family breadwinner. What I'm trying to say is since you are young and don't have kids this is actually a very good time in your life to do this.
  7. Curious about how you feel physically and mentally. After over twelve years on addy (low dose) I was totally burned out and that's putting it mildly. Of course you are way younger then I am. Anyway sad to say it, but I agree with Frank. The good news is you made it this far and are alive and well. Flipping nuts they give this poison to young children. How do you feel when you don't take it? Are you able to get out of bed in the morning and go about your normal daily routine? If so what's stopping you from quitting now? if it was me...I would complete my degree and then plan a three month vacation to quit this stuff for good. But if you can graduate without it, quit now. IMO life is different off addy. Different and better. You deserve to try it out for yourself.
  8. Finals week relapse and my mental breakdown (update)

    Go easy on the clonazepam. That stuff erases your memory. It happened to me. I took it for a year or so and don't remember much from that time in my life. Then a new doctor said he did not want to prescribe that to me because it causes memory loss. I don't touch that sh!t anymore.
  9. Took adderall for over ten years. Been off for about four months now. I know it's still early but I have to wonder how long is this weighted down sloth like feeling going to last. Certainly I have times when I don't feel weighted down but other times, Like this afternoon, I feel like I have twenty extra pounds I am lugging around. It takes so much effort to get up and take a short walk. I've gained approx 10 lbs in four months but I don't think that's what is causing this weighted down feeling? I eat right and exercise almost everyday. Any long term ex users out there - does the weighted down sloth like feeling ever go away for good? How long does it take?
  10. New horizons...

    Welcome back Eric. If at first you don't succeed, try try again. I can hear the frustration in your post. Vent away - we are here with similar struggles. Kudos to you for recognizing that you need to stop and for continuing to give it the old college try. You can do this and you will be a successful quitter someday. Have a nice long restful weekend off addy and don't be so hard on yourself. Keep us posted.
  11. When doing the bare minimum is not enough

    You CAN BS your way through this and you WILL BS your way through this. I could have written this same post myself sans the part about the big assignment and I've only been off addy for 4 months. What Frank said when I made a similar post a while back really helps me and I think about it almost daily - thanks Frank. The flipping president of the U.S. can BS his way through the I can too. Will some people suspect I don't know what I'm doing? Maybe, probably, but I won't admit it unless I get caught making a mistake, which does happen sometimes. After all we are human and so is that senior management team you are working with. Who knows maybe they are going through a similar crisis in their lives or maybe their son or daughter is. They may be so distracted by their own inner struggle that they may not even have the ability to notice anything is "off". Also I remind myself that although I work with a lot of very intelligent people, there are also a decent number of people who are not as smart as me. So that cuts the number of people that I need to impress in half. I hope you keep us posted on how things go. You may find that people like what you do when you are not on addy. Since I quit, I've turned in work that was not my best and been praised for it. I am going to ride this gravy train (job) until they kick my arse out lol. Fake it till you make it and don't give up. You can do it.
  12. So Annoyed

    It boggles the mind that these doctors go to school for years only to push onto patients what ever makes big pharma the most money.
  13. Please Help... :(

    Your reasons for wanting to take adderall sound so much like mine. Adderall made me stop obsessing about food because it killed my appetite. On adderal I was finally free to think about non food related topics. Here is what I have found to be true from my experience with adderall. Adderall got me skinny in the short term but as you can see it is not a long term solution to staying thin. We can be slender off of adderall but we have to find out what works for our bodies and we won't find that on adderall. Adderall will cause you to postpone finding a sustainable solution to your obsessive relationship with food. IMO adderall plus an eating disorder is an extremely dangerous combination. I have an eating disorder and I suspect that is why I had such horrid health issues as a result of taking adderall - because I was not getting enough calories. Here is what I think you should do....Stay off adderall and get treatment for eating disorder. I apologize if that sounds harsh. I don't mean for it to sound harsh but I'm not very good with words. Also give yourself a break and congrats for being off for two months!
  14. New Hobbies

    I took up pilates and gardening. I'm growing some sweet potatoes and plan to plant some peas and jalapenos this weekend. I also got a bike. I haven't had my own bike since college. Now I ride almost every weekend. Oh and chess. I started playing chess!
  15. Has adderall affected your physical health?

    InneedofhelpBP, you are the first person I have heard mention vein pulsations. I think I have this and I've been clean almost three months but I still have the pulsations all through my body. Did yours go away? How did you know it was vein pulsations that caused your symptom? Did you see a doctor for this? I want the pulsing to stop and have no idea how to go about achieving that. Thank you for any info you can provide on this. it seems rare and I will appreciate any info you can share with me.