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About Lovebear

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  1. My Struggle As A Stripper

    Not at all, I'm in Nebraska, can I ask you the same?
  2. Thank you! Great post. I'm coming up on one year sober, and I finally am myself again. It took 11 months in bed. I thought I was ruined. I googled "ruined my brain" at least once a week. But PAWS ends.
  3. My Struggle As A Stripper

    Hey friends! I'm a year clean in a couple weeks and I am FINALLY back to my old self. I am making good money at the club, life is fun again. This was the hardest year of my life, I thought I had lost myself forever, but thanks to a strong meditation practice and good vitamins, I feel like I've made a complete recovery. Hope y'all are well.
  4. My Struggle As A Stripper

    Omg I am you. Same story!! I quit 9 months ago and I had to stop being a dancer. I can't carry on a conversation off the stuff- can't focus on my customers, can't be present. The only think I found that helps is meditation. I just feel like adderall is so bad for you that I would rather find a way without it. I was only on it for a year and I swear I aged 5x faster in that year.
  5. For me it works right away, but I've heard it can be neurotoxic. I wish I understood more about it, it really helps me so much but I've heard it shouldn't be taken every day
  6. i need to know whats normal

    you're not crazy just an addict, just like me. It's finally starting to get better after 8 months sober. I can hold a conversation without trembling in my boots, and I feel like a human again. I still hate on myself a lot, but I've started making up songs every time I catch myself being mean to myself in my head, I sing "not gonna go down the self-hate rabbit hole..." I'm learning healthy things. I'm so proud of you for coming to this forum and so grateful that this community exists you guys help me so much.
  7. Weird Brain Feeling?

    Yeah I know the brain hazy feeling. I actually used to get it before I ever took adderall and it as why I went on it in the first place. It feels almost like a headache, I can't think clearly, cant open my eyes all the way, stuck on channel fuzz. I'm at 7 months off adderall now and i still get it but I also have a lot of days of total mental clarity. I honestly felt fuzzy for 6 months. It's just beginning to get better. I guess I realized I'm just kinda hazy until something catches my attention and maybe that's ok. I get headaches a lot tho and that sucks and adderall helped a lot with making my headaches go away- cut through that fog like a knife. But also made me a sad shell of myself so I guess I'll take the haze.
  8. How many of us are 100% ADD ?

    I am 100% add. I've never even completed an "are you add?" test. I get bored/distracted halfway through and just fill random stuff in. But it's fine! The world will go on building complicated machinery, putting things in order, creating increasingly intricate systems without my help. And ill be here, providing my detrivore services. ADD="unfit to serve society". Screw them. Let's plant gardens and drink tea on the couch and not mind the idea of being "unproductive". Productivity is a pill they sold and it nearly killed me!! I am the way I am for a good reason. Not totally sure the specifics of that reason yet. 7 months off of adderall, I am scattered! I was born scattered. My brain feels more like a wild forest than an orderly city! Im not here for the fast subway ride down my neural networks. I'm here for the old-growth forest, for the balance of the system as a whole. I'm playing the long con.
  9. Post quitting tips?

    Ok I had some fun with this response- these are light suggestions from a cooky fellow quitter! (Used/abused 2 years, quit 7 months ago) #1 tip for real: Food is medecine! Eat salads, eat PROTEIN. Eat bananas! They are radioactive! Get into superfoods! mushrooms (black fungus, can be found dried at your local Asian grocery), hemp seeds, turmeric, coconut, berries, cacao. Buy organic! Join a yoga studio. Sweat out your troubles in a bendy position. Try some light supplements. Take l-tyrosine but only occasionally like on the really unmotivated days. Take ginkgo Biloba to improve cognition. Take St. John's wort if you're feeling especially sad. Take a multi-vitamin. With biotin if your hair started to thin like mine did! Btw my hair is back and luscious and sexxaayy. Thanks sobriety. Get into something weird and new. Take a week off of life and go on a secret adventure to your nearest spalunking cave! Make it a quest. Tell no one. Get a pet rat. They are amazing little creatures. So cute. So smart. So fluffy. Buy flowers for someone. Bonus points if they are someone who will be like "wtf? why did you give me all these roses???" Write love notes, go on a walk and give them out to strangers. Learn hebrew. Throw yourself a bar-mitzvah. This is a great way to make friends and meet people. Mostly though, a big congrats on quitting! You are doing so great. It's ok to be bored and lazy for a while. And good luck with school. You'll do great and it will keep you busy. lots of love from lovebear. Peace!!
  10. Hello, I'm Mr. 75%

    Love this post. Seriously. Love this forum. Have you seen Limitless? I'm that lady who walks into the cafe, discheveled, scattered, who used to take the limitless pill. I'm better at 75% than I was at "100%" two years ago. Because today 75% is enough. Two years ago, 100% wasn't good enough!!
  11. I am sorry for what you're going through, I can't imagine how immensely difficult it must be. I have read about the benefits of ginkgo biloba, and have been trying it myself to improve my memory. I actually break open a capsule and take half of the powder in tea, as a whole capsule usually gives me a headache, but it is supposed to increase bloodflow to the brain. I also have heard that activating the balance centers in your brain can help ward these things off. Practice standing on one foot and then closing your eyes. Then try the other foot. It seems impossible at first but it gets easier, I promise! I also know a man who took up skateboarding in his 70s- he's a professor at my university. He's in his 80s now, and rides through campus on his skateboard. Riding a bike is said to help with Parkinson's too. My family has a history of these things and I have a history of adderall abuse so I've had these same worries. Good luck with this. We are all here for you.