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Everything posted by Kimber

  1. Mental Clarity

    God that is a great way to put it! I thought I loved to “think” on Adderall, although in hindsight that is basically all I did was “think” with little to no action later in my use....weird
  2. Different experience

    How old are you? My journey sounds similiar to you...was on for 17 yrs and only off 6 months. I took 10 mg forever and had gotten up to 40 mg just with last 2 years of my 17 years, when the noticeable side effects started occurring. And never binged or abused, and like you struggle off and on... Something else to think about is for women our hormones start to deplete as early as mid 30s and only get worse and can cause similar symptoms.... depression, lack of joy... And I crave an Adderall to help on those blah days...having today, but I kinda just say screw it and get through it some how...because like others, if not stopping now, when? I CANNOT imagine being a 70 yr old woman on Adderall. Or a 70 year old woman trying to get off of Adderall.... When I feel like this, this site is where I come. Thank goodness for this place.
  3. How long did you give yourself a pass?

    I think whatever you need to set yourself up to not use Adderall...For me making sure I did what I could to help my body, ie only having healthy food in the house and not drinking, because I knew having a hangover was always a trigger for me...we’ll I can just pop an Adderall and get rid of the hangover. Or a carb coma was another “reason” to pop one. I think the less guilt trip you give yourself the better, soooo a pass as long as you need and you need as long as you need to not use again... I just did something I would NEVER have imagined 6 months ago when i quit...did a 1000 mile road trip coincidentally on my anniversary date...anything is possible.
  4. Hmmm ...Not a good category to "win"...17 years. Never abused, up to 40mg/day last year or 2. Quit cold turkey 6 months ago. WHEW
  5. I totally agree with you. I threw it out along with all my other nootropics. Had bad anxiety (which I never have) and depression from not taking and just do NOT want another pill to control me...Now experiencing set backs from withdrawals from this crap, which is frustrating, but pretty sure its’ my mind and body’s way of saying I need to work with what I’ve got and learn how to do that without a pill. Thanks
  6. I've been trying several different Nootropics with varying degrees of success. I forgot I had order Modalert 200mg and took today. I'm approaching the 5month off Adderall mark and while I miss it, will never be on that crap again, nor any other psychiatric medications/drugs. Whew...was wondering what anyone else's experience were...are? There's no way this is a Nootropic in the sense that is doesn't cause harm...feels WAY TOO Adderall-like. And unfortunately I took 2.... Really odd, kind of helped remind me why Adderall was so bad for me, some of the physical side effects I got from Adderall I am experiencing with Modalert. Trouble with body temperature regulations, rapid heartbeat, jittery feeling, shaky hands. I may try just 200mg one day, but probably not soon .... Just curious if anyone else has any experience with...
  7. 20 months, what now?

    I am at 5 months and also struggle with finding the right words, but also find it much easier just to laugh it off. One of the BIGGEST positives that I wasn't even aware I was so lacking in during my 17 year Adderall use....LAUGHTER! I actually find myself giggling again and at first it almost felt foreign, then soooo good. Adderall in my later use made me more socially withdrawn and awkward (like too focused on everything), something I usually didn't struggled with... I definitely feel I need to find a purpose, but am finding I don't have the energy, motivation and self confidence to try anything NOW WHAT?
  8. Sucks, because, like Adderall, I got a ton done...also not necessarily a good thing...but pretty difficult to find anything really bad on it....frustrating.
  9. 20 months, what now?

    Interesting. I wonder how old you are? And if it also at a certain age range we start to wonder what it is all for? and about? I'm only at 5months and always struggled with that question and constantly searched for new things, jobs, locations and for the first time am still....difficult and challenging. The rest is definitely getting better. More good than bad. congrats on you all for your 20+ months.
  10. glad to hear. What brand are you using? I've been having pretty good results anti-depressant results with aniracetam and just ordered a couple of others to try ...Glad you are having some success.
  11. Struggling. 5 months out.

    Good list. I feel the same going on 5 months. I have found that dabbling with different nootropics has helped me. Also I've found loved ones are great for reminding you of the positives they see in you since you quit as well. And I've had to learn to just give myself a break sometimes and not be so hard on myself. Continued good luck to you...and all of us!
  12. Yes the first day was not adderall, but similiar without the comedown., and definitely builds up tolerance quickly, which is fine. And learning that I don't need it but if it can help me get through my first year adderall-free, and not be harmful, then I'm all for it.
  13. Thanks Frank, I may order and try. So far aniracetam seems to be pretty good for both motivation and depression. I've tried every almost different anti-depressant and always have horrible side effects...and I'm not really depressed, just never learned that I don't need listen to my mind so much! Nor follow it!. Glad for you.
  14. Curious how you're doing with lithium orotate as well. I recently found info on it and keep revisiting. Am cycling off and on aniracetam and phenylpiracetam with fleeting success.
  15. Great things about not taking adderall

    Laughing and a return of a sense of humor! Didn't even know it had gone!
  16. depression Life ruined?

    Yup. Agree with you 100%. I'm just at 3 months after being on for 17 years. Unbelievable really. And what I just realized after reading your post is that I felt like Adderall made me like or enjoy myself and being by myself, now being by myself...I am really BY MY SELF and it does feel really really alone...lonely. But don't have energy or motivation to do anything about it... Definitely good and bad days. Physically I can't imagine taking that stuff again...that's the part I have to remember when feeling like this...good luck to all of us.
  17. I'm curious what made other people quit or think about quitting Adderall. Why? It's hard to find Dr's or medical info that demonize it and so much info hails it, so what made you feel you needed to quit or want to quit? AND, if you quit, did quitting rectify your issue or problem?
  18. Testosterone boosters?

    I adored Suicidal Tendencies...been a long while since I've heard them mention...haha great memories
  19. Wholly crap. I'm sorry you went through that, glad your off.
  20. 100 and 10% agree with you. I was suicidial on birth control...hmm doctors NEVER mention this when telling you to take, same with Effexor when trying to get off (10000x worse than getting off Adderall). I'm now 100% prescription drug free. I was a pharmaceutical rep and believe most docs are money hungry ignorant pricks...glad you have a friend that isn't! Keep him!
  21. Hitting One Month w No Adderall

    Sorry, internet connection at my house is ridiculously nonexistent and lately zero motivation to even attempt to get online. Now feels like nothing is working, plus husband was home during Irma (usually he's out of town) and we ate worse and drank, and I stopped walking the dog as much. Walked 3 miles yesterday, but been a rough spell. And I know it has 100% to do with food and drink I am or am not putting in my body AND exercising, easy to get off track and then feel defeated, which is a bad place to be. Wanting to want to start working out! And toyed with getting on an antidepressant again, took myself off Wellbutrin 4 years ago ....Who knows , hope you are doing well.
  22. I hear ya. I was in high end medical sales, always looked good for my age, fit. Not even sure how or why I got an rx over 10 years ago, but just quit a month ago today. FYI I found out the hard way it really messes with hormones
  23. Finally Ready To Quit, But Terrified

    Yes it is scary. It's scary as shit. It's only been 1 month for me, and I've been on it for over 10+ years. Everything you think Adderall is making better in your life is a facade. I didn't know this but my husband reminds me because I like to "glamourize" my adderall self...apparently my adderall self was not as spectacular as I thought....and I'm actually ok w/o...hard to stomach or believe. AND. It will mess up your hormones big time...
  24. Hitting One Month w No Adderall

    CONGRATS. It's been 1 month for me today also! The book someone recommended The Mood Cure help me a lot explaining whys, what to try etc. I took L-Tyrosine for first 2 weeks then felt like it stopped, switched to SAM-e and today switch back to both. I try to not concentrate on weight gain, but I also don't let myself have any crap food in the house, so when I snack or graze all night it is on grapes, nuts, raisins...otherwise I know eating crappy would make me feel worse. I also quit drink the same time, because I know if I drank, I'd feel like crap in am and want to get adderall to get me out of hard to have quit both and I definitely miss adderall 100 times more than alcohol.... Getting outside and my dog help through the crappy days...yesterday was hell. Today was fabulous! Guess that's part of it.
  25. Difficult Day

    Good for you on month 2. I just finish week 2 and feels like every hour is a mood change. And yes the tight clothes can always get me. I've got to start working out...never had to before, but would probably help with more than weight ... good luck to you also.