Once_Again_a_Dreamer

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About Once_Again_a_Dreamer

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  1. 6 months out--hasn't been hard at all

    And also--good for you making it 5 months. The depression will fade away, I think. It can be hard to suddenly stop feeling like Superman all the time. No, I don't think winning the lotto would change much either, lol! Have you started getting 7-8 hours of quality sleep per night again? For me that's priceless, used to only happen on weekends (when I wasn't on drugs.) Makes up for a lot of other things. Complexion looks nicer from being rested too.
  2. 6 months out--hasn't been hard at all

    Yes, I certainly don't want to come across as arrogant, bragging about how well it's going. The point I wanted to make was that I had imagined quitting adderall would be so much harder than it actually has been for me--if you're doubting you can do it, you might be surprised. Drastically changing life circumstances has certainly helped me (and yes, not everyone will have such big life changes during this time) removing some of the mental cues that would make me crave those pills again. I definitely still crave them, (and I don't do things that make me crave them, like try to read articles in Russian, because that's what I would do on adderall. I put my Russian skills on the back burner for a while, which is ok. I'll relearn good study habits gradually.) I just literally can't get adderall, which has been key to quitting. But really I had imagined gaining 30 pounds and going through some nasty withdrawal symptoms. I just want people to know that not everyone experiences withdrawal and it might not be as bad as you think.
  3. Has anyone gone off caffeine too and felt even better?

    I still drink coffee and tea, but for me personally it's not a problem like Adderall was. I don't necessarily need it in the morning but I don't drink it after 3pm either. It's just kind of a lifestyle thing, I like the taste and the ambiance. I don't associate it with work and I can work without it just fine. Don't need it to wake up either. Everyone's body and mind works differently though. If giving up caffeine helps some of you live better, good for you!
  4. When other people notice...

    Me too! I enjoy life so much more now! Everyone thinks I'm more fun and silly. I used tone so obsessive and stressed out/strung out! I cringe now thinking of some of the social interactions I had during the adderall days. So lucky I managed to have friends stick by me anyways. But, still, a lot of missed friendships and missed opportunities. Getting off adderall is like waking up and getting back to the world again!
  5. Desire to quit Adderall

    I don't think you'll lose your career by quitting. I think it might bring out different strengths.
  6. Desire to quit Adderall

    You can do it! Yes quitting adderall may impact the quality of your work but not necessarily in a bad way! I've gotten much more creative and sociable since quitting! I didn't taper, just went cold turkey and it's been great! Don't get discouraged if it's hard in the beginning--that's normal, you've gotten used to living on speed and your mind needs to adjust to different expectations (your body adjusts pretty quickly, I had no withdrawal.) My relationships all improved, my writing and public speaking improved, and I know this is the real me now :-)
  7. Strange habits after quitting? Nail biting

    BTW it's been 6 months and I don't bite my nails anymore at all. Just painted them too :-) This was just one of many things I thought I needed Adderall for.
  8. 6 months out--hasn't been hard at all

    Hi guys, I haven't been on this site for a while now but I just wanted to give some hope to anyone struggling to quit. I've been completely clean with no relapses since May. It really hasn't been hard. This is for a few reasons: -I got married and my husband doesn't support my former stimulant use. Fair enough--he knows it brought me to a bad place. Once you're married two become one and your partner has some say in how you use/abuse your body and health. I wouldn't support my husband becoming an alcoholic or drug addict either. -I live in a region where it would be hard to find a practitioner to prescribe ADHD meds--for anyone--cognitive behavioral therapy is much more accepted in France. And I moved away from Paris where there was that one psychiatrist making bank off of prescribing Ritalin (no adderall here) to American study abroad students. Hence, there is also pretty much no black market where I'd be able to get the drugs if I wanted to go that route. No temptation=no relapse. -I'm 4 months pregnant, and so happy about it! Stimulants during pregnancy is a huge NO NO but unfortunately I see lots of women in pregnancy forums that still manage to find doctors to prescribe them adderall, and find all sorts of ways to justify their use even though they know it's wrong. No one should take adderall during pregnancy, period. Don't care if you have the most severe ADHD in the world. It would be illegal for someone to prescribe me that here. It's so sad how many American doctors are basically owned by the drug lobby. Most importantly, I just want to reassure people, withdrawal symptoms are probably in your head! Even when I used to be terrified I ODed, during my comedowns, half of those symptoms were in my head! Like, my fingers and toes still get red for no reason sometimes. I still obsess over stupid things on my computer sometimes, as if I were tweaking. It was never really just the adderall, it was just me and I'm just quirky. At first if you're feeling tired all the time, less motivated, well that's just what life is like for people who don't abuse stimulants. Honestly I personally had zero withdrawal symptoms even after a history of some pretty hefty daily consumption. Drink lots of water, good nutrition, coffee, exercise, and you'll probably lead and pretty decent and healthy life like most people without addictions. I haven't gained much weight (even for a pregnant lady.) I'm a lot funnier and livelier and all my relationships are better. So--quitting is great! Keep it up!
  9. On Ughhh Days..

    I can definitely relate to your experience. I'm only 2-3 months clean (but I never really used more than 40-60mg per day--100mg one time landed me in the ER--so maybe I'm having a more ok time with withdrawal than some others that were I to 100+ daily) but the fatigue is unmistakable. Do do you ever wonder if it's just in our heads, though? For some people with ADD, 60mg daily is a normal dose, and they manage to go off of it to have kids, take a break, retire, whatever...and I doubt they struggle with debilitating fatigue for years afterwards, or else they wouldn't do it. Maybe it's just our lasting memory of being like Superman, occasional wistful adderall thoughts, that dupe us into reading too deeply into occasional tiredness? This is certainly not to minimize your (and my) struggle with those ugh days. They're plenty real!
  10. That weighted down sloth like feeling

    When exciting things are happening, like on the weekends, I seem normal and energized. I sleep excessively during the week. Wake up at 7am with husband, but then when he goes to work I'll be back in bed sleeping again until 11 (luckily since I work in education I have the summer off.) It's only been 2 months. I hope this doesn't last a year...
  11. 64 days

    Good for you! I'm at around the same point--2ish months clean. The only problem I'm having is STILL sleeping 12 hours a day. Even with caffeine. I don't know when I'll get back to normal energy levels.
  12. Strange habits after quitting? Nail biting

    Hey everyone, I was wondering if anyone else has a similar experience: my entire life I bit my fingernails without being able to ever kick the habit (tried really hard too!), then during my adderall/Ritalin years I stopped biting completely without even realizing it. On adderall, I never had the urge to bite them. It's always about 1-2 weeks after taking my last pill that the nail biting starts again. And obviously it's not as easy as just saying "hey self, don't bite your nails" otherwise nobody would bite their nails in the first place. Have you had similar quirks or habits? Any advice for how to not start biting my nails again this time around? So far I'm just on a general will power/ rewards system (there's a manicure in my future.) And anyone know why this is? This compulsive habit magically stops on adderall, but adderall isn't a good solution. Thanks!
  13. constipation?

    Drink a lot of water. Morning coffee should help too. The fruits and veggies part is probably pretty true. I've been vegetarian for years and I'm ok after quitting, I still go every day. I do drink lots of water though.
  14. Will the drive ever come back?

    (Once I have kids. ;-)
  15. Will the drive ever come back?

    That's so sad that even kids with ADD, prescribed this drug since childhood, can still end up getting addicted. Wow, your story was eye-opening for me. I have two sisters who were prescribed adderall since they were 7 or 8. My mom took their pills a few times and liked the feeling, then got her own script and gave me some pills when I was in college and I liked it, then got my own script. Two of us prescribed since childhood, two of us who could just fake symptoms as adults. I think of my older sister who's still on it, who doesn't really seem any better off after all these years, and wonder if she too struggles with the urge to take some extra pills every now and then, and with the fear of developing addiction. To a substance a doctor gave her when she was 8. I guess I thought people with obvious ADD just don't get addicted to this stuff like my mom and I did. They always say it doesn't make them feel good. Well, I'd never let my kids go on it.