Spirit76

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About Spirit76

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  1. Maintain Responsibilities-Highest Dosages

    And stay strong. I believe in avoiding any prescribed stimulants. Like modafinil, some diet supplements, it's just teaching yourself you need something. And I remember reading your posts for years! Thanks for all your sharing.
  2. Maintain Responsibilities-Highest Dosages

    @Frank B Good question. And worst decision of my life. It started with feeling fatigued, possibly from boredom at work. I had gained wait and went to a weight loss clinic where they gave me phentermine. I truly believe that's were it started. Fast forward a few months and I had a new more stressful position at work. Six figures blah blah blah. I went to a psychiatrist for anxiety and next thing you know, I figure I might as well get Adderall again. I was successful, but would have been far more successful without. I want to quit to learn to live life without Adderall, but my significant other has had it with my going back and forth. I don't see any other way other than taking time and healing, so I never fall into this evil trap again. And life was wonderful Adderall free, I think excerise will be a major "must" on this final time quitting adderall before I ruin my life completely.
  3. A once vibrant soul destroyed

    You are absolutely right about this ideal we have of the "American Dream." I often think that many of us are just trying to make it in a world that has lost sight of the things that truly bring us happiness. With society focused on obtaining material possessions, we have inadvertently become slaves to jobs that leave us feeling unfulfilled. There is always talk about work-life balance, but I haven't experienced a job like that. And I believe our souls need a break and we need to spend time in nature. We need to spend time doing things that bring happiness to our soul. And like you said I think for many of us, that would involve some sort of creativity. In my opinion, people classified as ADD/ADHD are just different and have a hard time accepting the monotony of everyday life. I have had great success in the business world and you are right-it brought me the most unhappiness I have ever experienced. Mostly because I took a drug to enjoy being a robot, who produces more and more for a corporation who could care less if you "die trying." I had no time to do the things that I enjoy and bring me happiness. I also think many of us are "people-pleasers" by nature. And life is too short, to care about the material things and being perfect. Sometimes "good-enough" at work is okay if it allows you to live your life in a healthy way, with time to do things that bring you joy! Thank you for your beautiful insights! It helps not feeling alone!
  4. Maintain Responsibilities-Highest Dosages

    Thank you for your advice. My situation is very similar to yours. I have quit for 3 years in the past and I know I can do it again. Great idea. I am going to just relax and have faith it will all work out. And I will quit trying to take on everything at work in the meantime, because i don't need to. I have just been a people pleaser/perfectionist for too long. And I will accept that right now I can't be that. Thank you. It's comforting to know there are others out there like me!
  5. One year down!

    Congratulations! A huge accomplishment. Stay strong. You are a motivation to many of us!
  6. I am sure something to this extent has been posted about before, but I am wondering if anyone out there has managed to quit while maintaining responsibilities. It seems like the easy way out would be to quit work, run away from daily responsibilities, but what if you can't. I know I have done it in the past, but after relapse my addiction is at the point of spiraling out of control. In the past, I used to be able to taper off with a minor crash. Now I just crave taking them all and hoping that some miracle will happen and I will be able to work through WILL. Naive, I believe. I am also curious to see, who has been successful, in getting off of Adderall from a high dosage. And what was the dosage? And what actions did you take?
  7. Sounds like Multi Level Marketing to me.
  8. Modafinil / provigil

    I took modafinal and managed to abuse it. It felt very similar to Adderall at high doses. I would not recommend it, if you truly want to quit. Just my 2 cents.
  9. So done!

    Ask for support for family and friends. Try to take a week off. One week will at least get you past the worst part of the withdrawal. I know my current story is not motivational, but I did quit for three years and know I can do it again. If you have to feign illness, do that. Do whatever it takes to give yourself a week of time, so you can have FREEDOM for the rest of you life. It's not easy at first and when life gets stressful you have to be strong. Exercise as much as possible. Walk for 10 minutes at first if that is all you can manage to do. You CAN do this and BELIEVE that you WILL! 60 mg or a little more is not beyond the point of return-I PROMISE. We try to please everyone. Just take that week for yourself-however you have to do it! I promise you will be forever grateful you made the decision.
  10. A once vibrant soul destroyed

    You are right. I have to look professional if I want to keep my job, but I have always been a fighter with a strong will. That is how I quit last time. I also exercised a lot and spent more time out in nature. You are right about getting ANGRY-I was ANGRY when I quit last time and wanted no part of the destruction that Adderall can wreak upon life. Thank you for responding, it feels good to know there are people out here who are supportive.
  11. After 3 years away from this site...

    I followed your posts many years ago and they inspired me to quit. Life will rebuild and happy you are back. I did the same thing and am still doing the same thing. I pray for your strength. Thank you for sharing.
  12. Thank you for sharing.
  13. I feel that it is finally time to tell my story. I have been on Adderall for 13 years total. With a 3 year break about 5 1/2 years ago. I was first prescribed Adderall in college, it started with 10mg 3 times a day. I felt the best I ever have when I quit for three years, but when a stressful job entered my life, I decided to go back on to Adderall. My new prescription became 20 mg IR 4 times a day. I would often run out in 2 weeks and the doctor would write me another prescription, of the same amount, for the next two weeks. So in reality, I was taking 20mg 8 times a day for a total of 160 mg a day. And I am sure there were many days I took more. I am currently on 40 mg IR and I need help. I have nowhere to turn. I have been inconsistent at work, suffering from major fatigue. I have thought of suicide. I want to be free from this again, but I feel that I have done so much damage to my brain and body. I feel like when I stop taking my medication all I want to do is sleep. When I quit for 3 years, I actually felt okay without medication. It was a struggle and I gained weight. I had low self confidence, but there still seemed like there was hope and I was overall happy. Now I don't know what to do. I was the primary earner in my family and we can't afford to have me quit. So, in the end, I suppose I am writing this to see if there is any hope or if I have completely ruined my life. I feel that I have completely ruined my life and I am worthless to society. Any advice on quitting and being able to get out of bed would be much appreciated. For all of you who are only a few years in-THERE is HOPE. Quit now, don't go down the road I did. You will get better in time. Same for all of you on low doses, you can overcome it. Anyhow, that is my story. I had to get it out. Just in case there is still a chance at a normal life.