It's been about 2 months since quitting adderall and its already been quite a journey. This is the farthest I have ever made it without adderall since it has been introduced into my life. It's been very rewarding at times and also very soul crushing at times. I'd have to say overall things have been more positive than negative.
A desire to be more healthy is probably the driving reason behind me quitting. I cannot express how satisfying it is to be able to get in my bed at 10 or 11 pm and actually fall asleep and wake up at a decent time in the morning. It is also nice not looking like a pale zombie with baggy eyes. When I was on adderall, sleep wasn't always an option. If I had to up up early for anything while being on adderall I would either have to find an excuse to get out of it, or stay up the whole night. Now I am able to go to sleep at night knowing that I have to get up early to make it somewhere on time, and not have crazy anxiety over whether or not I'll have insomnia.
Another huge positive about quitting adderall so far has been the ability to gain weight. I have always been a skinny dude with a desire to workout and get big and I have let adderall ruin that goal of mine for YEARS now. While I was on adderall my weight dropped pretty low and I found myself unable to keep my progress from working out so I eventually stopped working out all together because it just caused even more weight loss for me. Recently the past 2 weeks I have started going to the gym again and although I am unable to workout for very long, it is very rewarding to see muscle mass coming back already. I don't have to dread eating the calories I need or fear losing my progress. This reason is by far the biggest reason I despise the idea of ever getting back on adderall. It is quite hard to muster the energy to get to the gym most days, but I'm hoping this will get better with time.
I am still worried about what to do about my job, but for right now things are under control. I have moved down to only working 2 days a week and plan on working my way up to more. I am very fortunate to have no bills to pay right now, my car is paid off and my parents have agreed to let me live at home and recover. I am able to do my job on those days, but my mental stamina does run out quickly. Anything mentally demanding drains me out, and I'm hoping this too will get better with time.
I have yet to cut off my supply of adderall, but I would rather not tell the doctor I'm abusing adderall (I never really did abuse it by their definition). Although I currently am winning the battle against the desire to take adderall, it seems unwise to still have this bottle of adderall right here if I ever couldn't resist the urge.
Now that I think about it, the fact that the bottle of adderall is STILL here proves that I'm not 100% committed to this..
Edit: Never mind the pills are gone, i just threw them in the trash where they belong.